I Lost My Friend Options

[sapphireluna]

Reading your posts has helped me feel better. Please hear my story.

My lovely cat Majestée passed away last night at the vet's. She had stopped eating, her liver was bad and treatment would've been very expensive with no telling if she'd properly recover. She was almost 16. Her birthday was in 3 weeks. This is the first time I had a pet die on me, (other than a hamster or turtle.)In fact, I've never had someone this close to me die at all, humans included. I knew she had to die eventually. She was getting old. But it's just so hard.

Please tell me, how did you survive through this? This is unreal. I have never cried so hard in my life. I cried so much that I ran out of tears. I was scared I was going to hyperventilate. This morning I am still crying. She wasn't there when I woke up. She wasn't there to ask for food. She won't be there to greet me when I come home. I can't imagine her not being there. She was sleeping on my bed just yesterday. She was sitting on that chair. She was lying down on that balcony. She was sitting in that corner right there. Now she's not. Not there. She's not there. This can't be true. She has been with me through everything for the past 16 years. I have lived more than half my life with her. I can't imaging anything else. I won't be hearing her funny-sounding meowing anymore. Her purring. She won't lick my hand anymore. It hurts so much, what do I do?

She's going to be incinerated along with other cats. It happened so fast. I wanted to keep her ashes but it's too late now. I don't even know what the vet does with the ashes.

I always thought I wanted to have more cats, but why have them when it's so painful when they leave? I still have another kitty with me. Now I'm scared for when he will leave me too. I have to go back to work on Monday. I don't know if I can. I feel so alone. Please help me.

Here are pictures
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/sap...luna/Cat/4b.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/sap...luna/Cat/m2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/sap...luna/Cat/m3.jpg

[kurt_t]

One more thought before I go on my camping trip. Our cats were about the same age when they died. I think once cats get that far past their natural lifespan (I think of a natural lifespan as how old the cat would live to be in the wild.), they develop all sorts of funny little symptoms, and the vet more often than not can't tell you what all those symptoms mean. With Flo, she had symptoms consistent with cancer, diabetes, kidney failure, immune system failure, arthritis and probably a few other things. If I had made the decision that I was going to rule out each possible disease and then treat whatever was treatable, I think the last year of her life would have been hell for her. She might have died just from the stress of going through all those diagnostic procedures.

I think part of what you're going through is maybe some regret about not treating Majestée's liver condition. I think I would have made the same decision you did, because I think at that age, you don't know what's going to happen when you treat one ailment. In all likelihood, another terminal condition is lurking right around the corner, and then you've put your pet through all that stress for no good reason. I think once your pet gets to a certain age, you have to think in terms of what they call for people "comfort care."

I just say that because part of the healing process for me has been hearing people say "You made the right decision." Or, as the vet said to me the morning we put Flo down, "It's the sane thing to do."

[sapphireluna]

@ kurt_t
I understand what you mean. Treating her would have been very stressful and the vet would have had to keep her for a few days. I'm sure she would've been scared and unhappy. It makes me feel better to think that she is no longer suffering.

@ moon_beam
Thank you so much. Although I will miss her, I know she is with me in everything I do. I have been hurting myself by replaying her final moments in my head over and over but now I'm trying to just think of the good memories.

I managed to call my vet. it's not too late to get her ashes, but I have to go down there today and pay..I didn't want to go back there knowing she is still there, but if I don't I may regret it later. Wish me luck.