Alone Options

[Kayelle]

Hi.

My beautiful puppy-like kitten-like cat collapsed on Saturday night after a long battle with his too big heart. I drove him to the vet, hoping they could help us. When we arrived my pusscat just lay down on the table. I had no choice but to stop his suffering. Knowing that, however, does nothing to alter the fact that I miss him so very much.

Not even a week has gone by and now people are telling me (out of concern for me, I know) to get on with things and that's life and it was all for the best, why don't I just try get on with life and try to put it to the back of my mind? He was my baby boy...

I'm so angry at them for not understanding how deep the pain runs. About why I hate to go home, why I don't want to pretend everything's fine, about how I really do want to stop all the clocks.

I know the pain will lessen, and I'll eventually remember him with joy, as he deserves. For the moment, why can they not just let me be?

xx

[bek]

Dear Kayelle, I'm so sorry that your baby had to leave you. I felt exactly as you do when my cat died and I know the shock and hurt that you feel when people misunderstand how powerful the grief is. I am so glad that you are able to share your emotions and thoughts.
They are definitely appreciated, and you have my warmest thoughts and wishes now and always. When you asked for suggestions for honoring your kitty's memory I thought right away of what I did a lot of to move through my own grief: art. I'm not an artist, but the act of creating art which memorialized my beloved cat-child and the beauty he radiated was a comfort. The memory of him still inspires me to create things in his honor. It makes me feel as though a part of him lives on through me. I understand how precious your cat is to you. You are both blessed to know such love.

With love,
bek