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Kayelle
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Joined: 30-November 04
Profile Views: 948*
Last Seen: 10th January 2005 - 06:38 AM
Local Time: Jul 20 2025, 08:58 AM
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Kayelle

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6 Jan 2005
For Jana, who will always be with me, and with all my love.

12 years is a short time on this earth
But I hope that short time
Was long enough
To fit in all the
Butterfly chasing
Mice torturing
Make believe prey stalking
Sun bathing
Lap pummelling
Staring over my shoulder in horror at nothing, as a cat joke, in the dead of night
Tripping unsuspecting guests on the stairs
Tripping yourself on your four left paws
Refusing to believe you were feline
Sitting on window ledges
Sitting on the edge of my nightly bath, intrigued
Drinking out of taps
Watching
Sleeping
Cuddling
Eating
That you ever wanted
I hope that short time
Was long enough.
It was not enough for me.
1 Dec 2004
Hi.

My beautiful puppy-like kitten-like cat collapsed on Saturday night after a long battle with his too big heart. I drove him to the vet, hoping they could help us. When we arrived my pusscat just lay down on the table. I had no choice but to stop his suffering. Knowing that, however, does nothing to alter the fact that I miss him so very much.

Not even a week has gone by and now people are telling me (out of concern for me, I know) to get on with things and that's life and it was all for the best, why don't I just try get on with life and try to put it to the back of my mind? He was my baby boy...

I'm so angry at them for not understanding how deep the pain runs. About why I hate to go home, why I don't want to pretend everything's fine, about how I really do want to stop all the clocks.

I know the pain will lessen, and I'll eventually remember him with joy, as he deserves. For the moment, why can they not just let me be?

xx
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 20th July 2025 - 08:58 AM