Loss Of My Best Friend Brittany Options

[Felicia]

My name is Felicia:
I want to tell everyone about my "Best Friend" Brittany. June 24, I had to put her down. She was diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. She had all the signs. She was going to be 13 yrs. old in Nov. She had been having problems with her back legs, so that day I knew she was telling me it's time to let go. But how do I cope with it? Coming back into the empty apt. is so hard.....I'm so lost. Can't concentrate on anything.....
I feel that she's right there with me. Work is not helping. All I do is sit & think about her & find myslf crying.....How do you go on when half of your heart is missing? She's helped me through many hard times in my life..... And now she isn't around to help me with the worst possible thing that I'm going thru.

[lynette]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my Lily on June 24th, last year though. It's still tough. Mind you I also lost Hunny April 4th this year too. And I know how it feels to wait for them to visit in a dream. I've only seen my babies once. I miss them so very much.

Lily died unexpectedly last year. It was such an awful time. She was only eight, a spaniel mix. She was a rescue and was supposed to have been with us till she was a ripe old age. We are still not really sure what happened. It looked like she was choking, but whatever it was we couldn't save her. When people say don't forget to breathe, I know now what that means. It was truly devastating to lose Lily. Then just days after that we found out that Hunny, a golden, had cancer. She lost her battle this past April. We had to make that awful decision to save her from the suffering. I wonder everyday if she would still be here if we hadn't given her angel wings. I don't think she would have any quality of life if she was. The only thing comforting about that decision is that she is now with her sister Lily. They were both eight. Not young, but definitely not old enough to leave us. We had an extra nine months with Hunny. And trust me, we lived each day like there might be no tomorrow. Although we told Lily everyday that we loved her, when they go suddenly you just feel like you didn't get to say goodbye. Not that we said goodbye to Hunny, we said "see you later". But at least we had time to really appreciate every moment we had with Hunny. Even though I cried almost everyday, because we didn't know just how long we had with her. I cried so many tears for Hunny before she left, but I have to admit that it came to a point where it was extremely hard on all of us. I hate to say this, but I honestly don't know how much longer I could have handled the stress of losing her. I would play over and over in my mind what the final moments would be like. I hated that, but I just couldn't stop myself. I was dreading the last moments with her. I like to think that they are both in a better place and that we will be together again.

I know I'm rambling, but I too still need too talk once in a while. I miss them both with all of my heart. I know the emptiness and the aching that you're feeling. I don't know that that ever goes away. I don't think I want it too. I've been kind of depressed since we lost Lily. Life just doesn't have the same purpose anymore. Even though I have other dogs now and I love them to pieces, it's not the same. Hunny, Lily and I always went for walks together. The pups are just too young yet to fully appreciate that - I know we'll get there in time.

Anyway, I just wanted to stay how sorry I am to hear that you're going through this. It is so hard. I wish I had found this website back last year when I lost Lily. I really could have used it. I found it a few days before losing Hunny. There are some very wonderful people here. They helped me through those last few days with Hunny. Especially when it came to dealing with making the decision to let her go. That was by far the hardest part - deciding when her life should end here on earth.

It is getting better, but I still have waves of emotions for them both. I miss them both so much, my heart aches so much for them. I wish they would visit me in a dream now and then. I just hope that they are having so much fun wherever they are and that they are not mad at me. I hope that they forgive me one day. But I truly hope that they are happy and together.

Anyway, better go. Take care. You'll make it through this. It will take time, but somehow we all make it through.

Thinking of you and sending a hug your way.

Lynette.

[Felicia]

Dear Lynette:
Thank you for your kind words.....It's only been 2 weeks, and I still feel so raw. I can't imagine what I'll feel in a yr. My emotions are everywhere. Sometimes I have a good day, but then there are days when I don't want to get out of bed. I never had feelings like that all over.. But I belong to a Pet support group, because I'm having such a hard time dealing with this.......And they tell me that what I'm feeling is part of the grieving process. I understand what their saying, but my heart doesn't.......Brittany & I were the only ones for the past 12 yrs. I have no other animals......That's why I needed help with the grieving process......This web site along with the suppport group is helping. I found a wonderful person on this web site that I e-mail every day......
I have the hardest time in the mornings when I come home from work.....She would always be there on the other side wagging her tail waiting for breakfast & her walk.......Then we would sit & talk about how her night was & how my night at work was......
I only wish I could see her again to know that she's ok & not angry at me........The morning that I went with her to put her down, she was so lethargic. I knew that it was the right time......But before it happened she licked my face wike a little puppy.......And till the day I die, I'll always treasure that moment......She was licking away all my tears......
There are dys that I go to sleep just in hopes that I dream about her. But nothing so far......
Don't apologize for rambling on, because I too do the same thing....I find comfort in doing that.....I'm going to start a journal, with pictures & poems & letters to her.......That'll help keep her close to my heart.
Hugs to you & feel free to write to me anytime. My e-mail address is: fvillen@netzero.com. I can send pics when you e-mail.

Felicia

quote name='lynette' date='Jul 6 2009, 10:46 AM' post='51490']
I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my Lily on June 24th, last year though. It's still tough. Mind you I also lost Hunny April 4th this year too. And I know how it feels to wait for them to visit in a dream. I've only seen my babies once. I miss them so very much.

Lily died unexpectedly last year. It was such an awful time. She was only eight, a spaniel mix. She was a rescue and was supposed to have been with us till she was a ripe old age. We are still not really sure what happened. It looked like she was choking, but whatever it was we couldn't save her. When people say don't forget to breathe, I know now what that means. It was truly devastating to lose Lily. Then just days after that we found out that Hunny, a golden, had cancer. She lost her battle this past April. We had to make that awful decision to save her from the suffering. I wonder everyday if she would still be here if we hadn't given her angel wings. I don't think she would have any quality of life if she was. The only thing comforting about that decision is that she is now with her sister Lily. They were both eight. Not young, but definitely not old enough to leave us. We had an extra nine months with Hunny. And trust me, we lived each day like there might be no tomorrow. Although we told Lily everyday that we loved her, when they go suddenly you just feel like you didn't get to say goodbye. Not that we said goodbye to Hunny, we said "see you later". But at least we had time to really appreciate every moment we had with Hunny. Even though I cried almost everyday, because we didn't know just how long we had with her. I cried so many tears for Hunny before she left, but I have to admit that it came to a point where it was extremely hard on all of us. I hate to say this, but I honestly don't know how much longer I could have handled the stress of losing her. I would play over and over in my mind what the final moments would be like. I hated that, but I just couldn't stop myself. I was dreading the last moments with her. I like to think that they are both in a better place and that we will be together again.

I know I'm rambling, but I too still need too talk once in a while. I miss them both with all of my heart. I know the emptiness and the aching that you're feeling. I don't know that that ever goes away. I don't think I want it too. I've been kind of depressed since we lost Lily. Life just doesn't have the same purpose anymore. Even though I have other dogs now and I love them to pieces, it's not the same. Hunny, Lily and I always went for walks together. The pups are just too young yet to fully appreciate that - I know we'll get there in time.

Anyway, I just wanted to stay how sorry I am to hear that you're going through this. It is so hard. I wish I had found this website back last year when I lost Lily. I really could have used it. I found it a few days before losing Hunny. There are some very wonderful people here. They helped me through those last few days with Hunny. Especially when it came to dealing with making the decision to let her go. That was by far the hardest part - deciding when her life should end here on earth.

It is getting better, but I still have waves of emotions for them both. I miss them both so much, my heart aches so much for them. I wish they would visit me in a dream now and then. I just hope that they are having so much fun wherever they are and that they are not mad at me. I hope that they forgive me one day. But I truly hope that they are happy and together.

Anyway, better go. Take care. You'll make it through this. It will take time, but somehow we all make it through.

Thinking of you and sending a hug your way.

Lynette.
[/quote]