Loss Of My Best Friend Brittany Options

[Felicia]

My name is Felicia:
I want to tell everyone about my "Best Friend" Brittany. June 24, I had to put her down. She was diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. She had all the signs. She was going to be 13 yrs. old in Nov. She had been having problems with her back legs, so that day I knew she was telling me it's time to let go. But how do I cope with it? Coming back into the empty apt. is so hard.....I'm so lost. Can't concentrate on anything.....
I feel that she's right there with me. Work is not helping. All I do is sit & think about her & find myslf crying.....How do you go on when half of your heart is missing? She's helped me through many hard times in my life..... And now she isn't around to help me with the worst possible thing that I'm going thru.

[Sammie girl'...]

Felicia,

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for you loss. I know how much it hurts. I am so glad that Brittany was with you for 13 years, what a gift. My Sammie girl died 23 days ago at age 3 1/2 from a disease called Addison's Disease and we didn't know she had it. My family and I went on a cruise and left her with my best friend, who happens to own Sammie's mom and dad, and as soon as I got off the cruise that Sunday I called my friend and heard the news. I sobbed uncontrollably in the car for 14 hours. My husband was trying to keep it together to drive and my 3 kids were all crying. It was and is the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I've lost a parent who was very close to me, a great friend in a car accident and friends to cancer. I've buried numerous pets, ethanized a few and watched one get hit by a car. All of those things hurt but now like losing Sammie. She was my girl. I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone or anything and she felt the same way just like I'm sure you and Brittany felt about each other. I sobbed, threw up, screamed at the top of my lungs on the back deck, broke a glass, took ambien to sleep and tried to drink my pain away a few nights. I couldn't eat, sleep or really even think. I layed on her grave crying one night until my husband carried me into the house. I sleep with her collar under my pillow still and I sniff her pillow all the time. The grief is so raw and so real. We have to go through this in order to start healing. It is awful to say the least, but you get through and you will smile again. I still cry everyday but in shorter spurts and I can regain composure easier. I've done things to help me feel better and things are different for every person but I'll share with you what I've done in the hopes that maybe even one thing will bring you some peace. I started journaling. I call it letters to Sammie. I write her letters or just tell her what's on my mind. No one reads it but me but it helps me. I printed out every picture I've ever taken of her and there are a lot and put them in a photo album. I had each one of the kids write down all their most favorite memories of her and we put that in the scrapbook. I ordered her a headstone and made her a really special resting place behind my house that I can visit. I put framed pictures of her in almost every room in my house so it's like she's still there somehow. I am having a shadow box made with her picture, her paw print, a piece of her fur, the rainbow bridge poem and her name that I will hang in my office above my desk so I can look at her everyday. I kennel-trained her in my office and she spent a lot of time with me laying by my feet and playing with me in the yard outside. My friends came over and we had a memorial service for her. My husband built her a casket and picked her up from the vet and we buried her in the backyard. I've sobbed through it all but somehow it helps. I also read the book "All Pets Go to Heaven" and that really did give me a sense of peace that nothing else could. And I prayed. I wish I had a magic answer but I don't. It is a healing process and whatever you need to do please do not think you are losing your mind and you are behaving abnormally. There is no normal when you are grieving. You do what you need to do. Visiting with folks on here and writing and been a Godsend to me. I hope it will help you too. We are here for you. God bless.
Melanie