The Emptiness I Feel Is Beyond Words Options

[Magesmumma]

I have just found this website and the tears come again as I write. And tears have flowed as I have read other people's stories of love and some have brought smiles as I remember the good times. My most beautiful boy, Magion, left this world 28 August this year and I miss him soooo much. The loneliness I feel without him here is beyond all words. His things are in every room and his presence everywhere. I still haven't slept in the bed having left it the way it was the last time we were together there. The pain is intense - and I'm seeing lots of grief counsellors - but this site seemed to offer a sense of kindred spirit. I miss him so and am now totally on my own. The photo of him I've attached as my avatar is like he is with me as I type, because he was the one to say "well that's enough computer work now, time to play."
We were together for just on 17 years and he would have just been 18 - being, I was told, one year old when I met him at the RSPCA (a pet adoption centre and hospital) in 1991. I just need other people who understand the pain to chat with... I can't believe he is gone.

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Oh, dear, I know it's so hard and so incomprehensible, all rationality about them not living as long as we might aside. (those thoughts don't even make any real dent anyway when we're in sorrow)

How you put that...time is something that occurs around me, is SO accurate a description of how it feels. But in that particular perspective lays a golden key that helped me somewhat. Since Time is really, just as Einstein said, really nothing more than a construct for living and experiencing in this earthly realm, if it feels 'collapsed' and held at one certain place....well, I just used that to tell myself, "Then so be it. For ME, the calendar doesn't even really matter, no matter what the world 'out there' chooses to believe." In some indefinable way, it helped me feel that, by holding that piece of time that had seemed to not really move anywhere next to my aching heart, my girl was still much closer to me than the rational and linear part of my mind (that I really don't believe knows anything, really, of our real reality) wanted me to believe. I hope how I put this makes sense. It was just another thing to use to my advantage, and I still use it today.

Yes, you both were definitely blessed. There's no doubt about that! And you will honour Magion when and how you're able. There's no rush, as he is timeless and isn't going anywhere, no matter how much 'time' has passed. We just can't make big leaps from sorrow beyond words right up to joy. It's all baby steps of finding whatever works for us to help minimize the pain over time. If all you can do right now is just survive on autopilot, then that's all you can do, and that's perfectly okay. Sending you hugs of compassion, and knowing what it is that you speak so well about....

F.'s Mom