The Emptiness I Feel Is Beyond Words Options

[Magesmumma]

I have just found this website and the tears come again as I write. And tears have flowed as I have read other people's stories of love and some have brought smiles as I remember the good times. My most beautiful boy, Magion, left this world 28 August this year and I miss him soooo much. The loneliness I feel without him here is beyond all words. His things are in every room and his presence everywhere. I still haven't slept in the bed having left it the way it was the last time we were together there. The pain is intense - and I'm seeing lots of grief counsellors - but this site seemed to offer a sense of kindred spirit. I miss him so and am now totally on my own. The photo of him I've attached as my avatar is like he is with me as I type, because he was the one to say "well that's enough computer work now, time to play."
We were together for just on 17 years and he would have just been 18 - being, I was told, one year old when I met him at the RSPCA (a pet adoption centre and hospital) in 1991. I just need other people who understand the pain to chat with... I can't believe he is gone.

[Magesmumma]

Thank you Furkidlets' Mom for your words.

It is indeed unbelievable that my boy has been gone physically from this world for 22 weeks today. An eternity passed that day he left, from when we left home in the early morning to go to animal emergency to wait for the specialist centre to open to the time I brought him home in the late afternoon, after he had gone, to say goodbye to his place, his rooms, our spaces together. I have remained in that day, to me time is something that occurs around me, I see and feel it happening in the seasons but it makes no sense to me. Putting up the Christmas tree for Mage was odd, Christmas was odd, for amongst everything else, to me it was still August - why was Christmas happening in August. How could time go on without my most beautiful boy? And so it makes no sense to me that he has been gone 22 weeks today. Time remains still in my house and I participate where I have to - and it, time, keeps drifting by, without reason, without purpose. And so I can't comprehend that it is 5 months since he has walked this place, sat beside me and rested in my lap - and yet one day, a few hours of one day in August last year became an eternity. It's like the songs say - how does the world keep on turning when someone you've loved (and do still) is not here.

Thank you for your words again. I particularly like where you said, "I consider your sharings a 'gift of the Magi'." He was very special to me, and his name was chosen for him by 'something/one' far greater. I was truly blessed when he came into my life. And I do want to honour him with my life now - I am just finding everything so incredibly hard.

Wendi.