Coping With A Sudden Loss :( Options

[pappy's_mama]

I'm new here and I just needed to vent a little. Forgive me if it's a little long.



In April 2006, my husband gave me a kitten for our first wedding anniversary. Since the traditional gift for the first anniversary is paper, we name our new kitty Papyrus, (Pappy for short). We was just 6 weeks old when we brought him home. We had to teach him to drink water out of his bowl. He loved making bread on his Papa's belly, drinking water out of our bathroom sink and shower, sleeping between our pillows, and chasing our other kitty around the house.



Pappy died suddenly last Friday. And I do mean suddenly. He wasn't even 3 years old. He never showed one single sign of any illness. He appeared 100% healthy and happy right up until the minute that he started to die. That morning, we both petted and hugged him and gave him water from our sink. I had no idea that it would be my last morning with him. I left for work and everything was fine. I came home for lunch to find my husband crying and at a loss for words. He explained to me that Pappy came into his office and meowed at him as usual. Pappy peeked over the top of his desk. My husband called him to jump up, which he would normally do at that point. Instead, my husband heard a sound like Pappy tripped or something. He tumbled backwards and tensed up really hard, (even his tail was curled up). He shook for a few seconds, then went limp and stopped breathing. My poor husband felt so helpless. He tried CPR, (without compressions because he didn't know how to do so on a cat), but it was no use. Pappy died before his eyes. Happy and playful one second, dying on the carpet the next. He left him there so that I could see him and say goodbye. We decided at the time not to do an autopsy, bascially because we couldn't stand the idea of someone messing with his little body. We just wanted him to rest in piece. Not knowing has been hard though. I can't describe how horrible this feels. He was JUST here and he was fine! I fully expected to walk in and see him standing there. He always ran up to greet me at the door. Instead I came in to find that he had died. He was such a social cat and often acted like a dog. He was so involved in everything that we did everyday. Now everything feels empty, sad and pointless. I can't imagine ever getting over this. I know that I have to, but I don't WANT to let him go. He's my little baby. How could I just get over him? I hope that it didn't hurt too much and that it wasn't our fault in some way.



They say that only people go to heaven. Anyone that has ever had a pet and has grown to know and love them could never believe that they don't have a soul. I hope that Pappy is happy, running through the greenest grass, chasing mice with the warm sun shining on him. I hope he knows how much he was loved and how badly we miss him.



Thanks for listening. God bless everyone else that is dealing with a loss.





Pappy at 6 months.





Pappy earlier this year

[LoveThem]

I am so sorry to hear about Pappy. The pictures you posted show just how beautiful he is.

There is something different when it is so sudden, especially when there is no warning. It is total shock and so one is hit with shock and grief at the same time. Very very overwhelming.

When I took my boy to the ER, what happened was a total shock that day but I took him expecting to bring him home but it was not to be. For his sake, I had to allow him to go peacefully immediately. After 16 1/2 years that was harder than I can remember..even though every time is difficult.

You need time to adjust to the suddenness. Just know that here you are not alone. The intense frustration and pain you are feeling....is a part of our lives also. It does all take time for the pain to lessen but at times you think it will take forever because it hurts so much and this feeling is every day. Sometimes crying helps, sometimes it doesn't. We just try to take everything one day at a time and think of what might help us feel better to do.

I understand what you felt about an autopsy cause I couldn't bring myself to do that with my boy, Little Guy, just for the same reasons. I knew from x-rays he could hardly breathe due to pleural effusion that came on suddenly but even though I wanted to know if as the vets thought..it must be cancer...I couldn't ask for an autopsy on him. Sometimes one can do that and there still is no answer.

I am so sorry to hear what happen..what your husband went through trying to help Pappy. That story just tears at the heart. And then for you to come home and learn about it all. That is a lot of pain for both of you.

Come here anytime and write your thoughts and feelings...sometimes a lot of venting helps.
Know that we here know that pain very well and find that sharing the pain sometimes truly makes one feel not alone. I know you miss that baby every single day and it is still unreal that he is not there. Post more pictures and tell more stories whenever it helps you to do so.

I wish you peace and healing..for you and your husband.
Pappy is now a part of both your hearts and being there...he can never be truly gone.

Hugs to help heal the pain.

Judy