The Emptiness I Feel Is Beyond Words Options

[Magesmumma]

I have just found this website and the tears come again as I write. And tears have flowed as I have read other people's stories of love and some have brought smiles as I remember the good times. My most beautiful boy, Magion, left this world 28 August this year and I miss him soooo much. The loneliness I feel without him here is beyond all words. His things are in every room and his presence everywhere. I still haven't slept in the bed having left it the way it was the last time we were together there. The pain is intense - and I'm seeing lots of grief counsellors - but this site seemed to offer a sense of kindred spirit. I miss him so and am now totally on my own. The photo of him I've attached as my avatar is like he is with me as I type, because he was the one to say "well that's enough computer work now, time to play."
We were together for just on 17 years and he would have just been 18 - being, I was told, one year old when I met him at the RSPCA (a pet adoption centre and hospital) in 1991. I just need other people who understand the pain to chat with... I can't believe he is gone.

[Magesmumma]

Thankyou Joanne.

I do look at the stars in the same spot where Mage and I used to look up and one does seem to be shining that bit brighter. I haven't felt Mage for awhile and I want to, although he has come to me in dreams every now and then. The dreams are lovely as I am able to touch him - I just don't know why I don't pick him up and smother him in kisses which is what I would do if he was here now. Usually we are outside doing something.

I know that when i said good bye to Rassy, I begged him to come back and not leave me alone. I am always looking online at tuxedos...One day a thought came to me, the words: dont look for me, I will find you...

I hope Rassy does find you. That his Spirit soars around you.


I had a bad day yesterday but after a while I went out to the shops and ended up at this alternative sort of place I have been to in the past. I was drawn to some words on 'hope' they had in the window. When I went to buy some things I mentioned that I had experienced a recent bereavement at which the lady came from behind the counter and asked if she could give me a hug. I said I would cry, which I did when she hugged me. She then said she wanted to sit me down in the cushions at the back of the store and have me hold something. She got a purple coloured stone out and took me by the hand, me with tears streaming down my cheeks and led me to these cushions on the floor. There she sat me and put this stone in the palm of my hand and said when I was ready to hold it to my heart. During the time I held it, I thought of you and another person on this site, thinking wouldn't it be nice to be able to send healing stones to people. The lady also during this time brought another stone and put it along side the other. It was quite calming sitting there.

So I send you calming thoughts Joanne in the midst of all your action.

I'm glad you've found some reassuring doctors now for your family.

Peace to you.

Will talk soon.

Wendi.

PS. I just really miss Magion, all the time, and particularly when I am on the computer at this time of night. Not something he would tolerate but then he would have been outside and I would have been popping up every now and then to check he hadn't gone off somewhere. Then if he wasn't where I could see him I would be off finding him, and he would probably be just around the front sitting on the driveway or on the edge of the lawn, perusing his territory and when he saw me, would say wow and get up and come to me. He was such an amazing individual - he taught me so much. And kept me up and about - I'm not up and about at all now he is not here. And truly, I cannot believe he is gone, could not believe he could go. I miss him so.

Take care.