The Emptiness I Feel Is Beyond Words Options

[Magesmumma]

I have just found this website and the tears come again as I write. And tears have flowed as I have read other people's stories of love and some have brought smiles as I remember the good times. My most beautiful boy, Magion, left this world 28 August this year and I miss him soooo much. The loneliness I feel without him here is beyond all words. His things are in every room and his presence everywhere. I still haven't slept in the bed having left it the way it was the last time we were together there. The pain is intense - and I'm seeing lots of grief counsellors - but this site seemed to offer a sense of kindred spirit. I miss him so and am now totally on my own. The photo of him I've attached as my avatar is like he is with me as I type, because he was the one to say "well that's enough computer work now, time to play."
We were together for just on 17 years and he would have just been 18 - being, I was told, one year old when I met him at the RSPCA (a pet adoption centre and hospital) in 1991. I just need other people who understand the pain to chat with... I can't believe he is gone.

[Magesmumma]

Thanks Joanne.

Just a quick note to say I've been feeling so very flat, more so than usual. The weather is getting warmer and Mage and I loved the warm weather. It was the time over the last few years that I took quite a bit of time off work so we could just be together and enjoy the warm. Last summer he would stay out till 11-12 at night, just lying on the tiles and we would lie together on the lounge outside and look up at the stars. Over all our years together we always enjoyed summer - one of the reasons why I went to Queensland, for the warm weather. I had always planned to go back but somehow, for some reason it never happened. I became very unsure of how well he could travel after the kidney problems were diagnosed, needing to drink more and him not wanting to drink in the car - although he had no objection to travelling. Not achieving the things I wanted to for him is such a bitter pill. I miss him so much.

I hope your Lily is starting to feel abit better. Have you tried Bach flowers or other flower remedies? Supposed to be good for stress. There is a Bach flower remedy for endurance under pressure - I wanted one vet we saw (another one, I tended to get third and fourth opinions on most things - that's what erks me too as none of them said Mage should be in hospital) to prescribe that for Mage because he was going through so much, but the vet said that when he saw Mage that he wasn't at all stressed. That was Mage - laid back most of the time.

I hope you too are feeling reasonable. Take care. You've been through so much and still continue to care for your others. Be gentle.

Wendi.