Our "buddy", he passed aeay Oct.15th/08 Options

[deb in grief]

Our dog Buddy passed away on Oct 15th/08. I was his mom. I fed him and took care of him and we became sole mates. I adored him. He was a gorgeous soft coated wheaton with human like eyes and boy oh boy could they communicate to us;especially to me. He got sick suddenly with pancreatitis and then kidney failure and within 40 hrs or so and no improvement we had to let him go. At first I was so brave-he was apparantly in pain so I was glad it was over. There was NO WAY I wanted him to suffer. As soon as it was over, my husband and I could not beleive it. It was surreal. I just cried and cried going thru the feelings that I have heard about. But it is not just the crying that worries me. I am so distraught that I can't imagine how I am going to get thru this. I don't care about anything anymore. I am just going thru the motions of life. He was my baby and now he is gone. I know that I will never be the same person. I lost my sister, my father and my mother which were all so devastating. Losing Buddy if I can be honest is almost worse because he was with me all of the time. I think I loved him too much. So many pet owners treat them as animals. We treated Buddy like a member of the family and maybe I was letting myself in for this big fall. Now I also have this HUGE guilt that maybe I should have done something to make him well again. I would have done anything even mortgaged my house if I could have to have him with us. I just don't know what to do.

[ann]

Hi Deb, I'm so glad I was able to help. It's been 4 1/2 mo for me and I still battle. When I start missing my Arthur real bad I bring myself back to "that day". I hate going there, 'cuz I keep thinking I should have done things differently, and the head makes me stop and remember the pain, the problems, the suffering and even, more than likely, a struggling recovery, the length of it, the complications, the worrying, etc. It doesn't make me miss him any less, mind you, it just brings me back to earth to accept and deal with the reality of it all. Once again, you made my day that I was able to help. This is why I'm still here. Thank you Deb..Hugs. Ann