Coping With The Ashes Options

[KayMarie]

I made my first post a few weeks ago when I lost my dog of 16 years (AKA, my whole life). Zizi died while I was away and I worked myself into a rut over it, at first. I've been steadily improving, keeping busy, but still coming to the message board, if not replying, just reading.

But since my dog's ashes came back, I've had a really bad time. I don't know if anyone else has had this problem, but my mother didn't want me to come home and see the little urn just sitting on the kitchen counter, so she put them in her closet and told me that whenever I was ready, I could take them out and she would put the ashes in the urn we had made for him.

Only I haven't been able to do it. I cleaned a spot in my room for him, next to my dresser, where he slept when he wasn't sleeping on my bed. I ordered a little keepsake chest to keep his things in like his AKC certificates, pictures, and tags. I have everything ready... but I can't take the ashes out of the closet.

I'll go in, look at the little box, then start crying. I get so upset, I can't even move. I'll sit with it there in my hands, but I can never bring myself to walk out of the closet holding that little thing and I keep thinking "He can't fit in this." I realize that's a little crazy, but I can't seem to stop myself. It distresses me so much.

My mom keeps telling me to take my time, but I feel bad about leaving him in there. It feels like I'm ignoring what's there, even though I still think about him every day.

[Wanda]

I placed my 17-yr old furkitty' (Fuzzball) ashes in my living room on top of a desk/curio combination. He's there so that I can see him everyday, all day long and into the evening. When it's time to go to bed I take him with me and put him on the nightstand and kiss him goodnight and when it's morning I kiss him good morning and back out to the living he goes. I could hardly wait to get his ashes back and once I got them back I felt so much better! This month on the 25th will be 4 months he's been gone. I miss him so very much!


Wanda