Elliott Is Gone And I Am Bereft......., I need some words of encouragement...hurting...hurting.. Options

[Mikki]

Hi people,

It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievious, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splaching in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirtly clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he wes only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.

so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquistie, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.

I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki

[AngelCareOne]

Hi people,

It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievous, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.

I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.

He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.

When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splashing in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirty clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he was only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.

I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.

so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquisite, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.

I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki

Dearest Mikki, I am so sorry your pain is this devastating and I want so much to reach out to you and give you a big hug! You see, I was never blessed with human children. My fur and feather kids are my family. They mean more to me than words can express.

I'd like to try to at least begin to help you a a little by letting you know you're not alone and that the gosh awful pain due to the loss of a fur kid or feather kid can and many times is just as devastating if not more than losing a loved one. Even if that human loved one is a best friend, spouse, mom, dad or even a sibling. I've put information about that in the "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" forum but will give you a direct link to take you there. Please click Here. Please read at least some of it. You are not alone. We understand, care so much and want to be here for you.

My deepest condolences on your loss and what must be just about the most gosh awful time in your life, Dear One.

Winging Many Angels and Hugs to You For Comfort, Love, Hope and Peace!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. When you talk about your baby splashing around in your toilet, it reminds me so much of one of my fur babies many, many years ago. However, I am glad he never learned to flush the toilet. I find just a tad bit of humor helps give some glimmer of comfort at times like this, so if you care to see and hear just click Here: Gizmo Flushes And no, that's not my fur kid. More Hugs!!!

[Mikki]

Dearest Mikki, I am so sorry your pain is this devastating and I want so much to reach out to you and give you a big hug! You see, I was never blessed with human children. My fur and feather kids are my family. They mean more to me than words can express.

I'd like to try to at least begin to help you a a little by letting you know you're not alone and that the gosh awful pain due to the loss of a fur kid or feather kid can and many times is just as devastating if not more than losing a loved one. Even if that human loved one is a best friend, spouse, mom, dad or even a sibling. I've put information about that in the "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" forum but will give you a direct link to take you there. Please click Here. Please read at least some of it. You are not alone. We understand, care so much and want to be here for you.

My deepest condolences on your loss and what must be just about the most gosh awful time in your life, Dear One.

Winging Many Angels and Hugs to You For Comfort, Love, Hope and Peace!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. When you talk about your baby splashing around in your toilet, it reminds me so much of one of my fur babies many, many years ago. However, I am glad he never learned to flush the toilet. I find just a tad bit of humor helps give some glimmer of comfort at times like this, so if you care to see and hear just click Here: Gizmo Flushes And no, that's not my fur kid. More Hugs!!!

j

Thank you for the kind words and the link, Dottie---I read all of it and it really helped. Right now the hardest thing is to keep moving forward, I have to keep doing my life even though I would much rather stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head. Gizmo flushing was great---Elliott didn't flush the toilet, but he loved to go in and splash around in it. He did get to be pretty good at opening doors by rolling the door knob back and forth between his paws until the door unlocked. Clever boy! I miss him terribly.......

[Zita'sMom]

Right now the hardest thing is to keep moving forward, I have to keep doing my life even though I would much rather stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head.

Boy do I relate - I have a home based business and I just don't care about anything right now, including money, although I am doing the minimal things required. Just keep thinking I would rather do without than make the efforts needed to work towards new projects. I think it could be easier if I had a methodical type job.

These difficult times make me question the purpose of life. Sometimes, especially when the joys of life are superseded by a series of painful events, it gets hard to see a positive perspective.

That's not much encouragement, I know, but it's what I'm going thru also..

Jan.

[Mikki]

Boy do I relate - I have a home based business and I just don't care about anything right now, including money, although I am doing the minimal things required. Just keep thinking I would rather do without than make the efforts needed to work towards new projects. I think it could be easier if I had a methodical type job.

These difficult times make me question the purpose of life. Sometimes, especially when the joys of life are superseded by a series of painful events, it gets hard to see a positive perspective.

That's not much encouragement, I know, but it's what I'm going thru also..

Jan.

Oh, I so get that. There must be some kind of underlying purpose or meaning to all of this or I simply can't go on. I've been in a two-year slump and have lost some of my positive outlook, some of my sense of purpose. It's hard to bounce back from a loss like ours without some kind of 'faith' that there is some kind of divine reason for such suffering.....and yet in the great scheme of things, much of my life is really just great, it could be so much worse. What's hard for me right now is just being in my house at all. Fortunately I have 2 dogs, 2 birds and another cat to keep me somewhat occupied so that helps....but then, Elliott was his own unique character......anyway, thank you for writing and I hope you are felling better soon, too.