Elliott Is Gone And I Am Bereft......., I need some words of encouragement...hurting...hurting.. Options

[Mikki]

Hi people,

It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievious, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splaching in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirtly clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he wes only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.

so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquistie, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.

I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki

[Nemo's Mommy]

Mikki, I can totally relate to you. I was looking at your post, and thinking, wow.... this is something I could have wrote. I have gone through many of the same feelings. My cat Ren died on a Thursday (this was only a month 1/2 after losing my other cat Zorro to cancer). That Saturday night, I went to bed and CRIED and CRIED and cried, I just had to know he was OK, that I would see my beloved babies again. I went through every possible scenario, and I decided, too- I just couldn't stand it if he wasn't in the spirit world. I just wanted a sign, a sign, it was just a heart wrenching feeling.

Strange thing is, that Thursday (a week anniversary of his death), I got my sign. I posted it under the title "Strange Occurences". I keep thinking back to the things that happened that night. I don't think I even posted everything that happened that night, but I am just convinced my Ren and Zorro came back to visit us that night.

Take care and I know what you mean about missing them. My mind keeps flashing back to things they would do.

Hugs
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mommy

[Mikki]

Mikki, I can totally relate to you. I was looking at your post, and thinking, wow.... this is something I could have wrote. I have gone through many of the same feelings. My cat Ren died on a Thursday (this was only a month 1/2 after losing my other cat Zorro to cancer). That Saturday night, I went to bed and CRIED and CRIED and cried, I just had to know he was OK, that I would see my beloved babies again. I went through every possible scenario, and I decided, too- I just couldn't stand it if he wasn't in the spirit world. I just wanted a sign, a sign, it was just a heart wrenching feeling.

Strange thing is, that Thursday (a week anniversary of his death), I got my sign. I posted it under the title "Strange Occurences". I keep thinking back to the things that happened that night. I don't think I even posted everything that happened that night, but I am just convinced my Ren and Zorro came back to visit us that night.

Take care and I know what you mean about missing them. My mind keeps flashing back to things they would do.

Hugs
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mommy

Thanks so much for your kind words--I will go look under 'strange occurances'. I also had a 'sign' when Jet died 2 years ago. It's a long story, but I also felt that he was near me. Thanks again for your support.