Elliott Is Gone And I Am Bereft......., I need some words of encouragement...hurting...hurting.. Options

[Mikki]

Hi people,

It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievious, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splaching in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirtly clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he wes only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.

so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquistie, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.

I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki

[Omarmommy]

Hi people,

It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievious, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splaching in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirtly clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he wes only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.

so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquistie, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.

I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki

Mikki-Let me first say I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss of Elliott. You have come to the right place. This site was a lifesaver when I lost my 14 yr old furbaby dog Omar. It is coming up on 6 weeks now. I can't believe it's been that long. I can honestly say that the 'heart wrenching pain' is almost gone, but the sadness and the tears are not. It's funny how the things that used to bug us about our furbabies are now the things we would so love to have. I miss the balls of fur he would leave behind when he got up from his favorite spots. I miss the dog fur that would find it's way to my food. I miss kicking his water bowl, of course right when I filled it. I miss being late for something, but that was his favorite time he wanted to wander the back yard and not 'hear' me. I know I can get another furbaby. I don't want another furbaby right now. I miss my Omar so much. So come here to talk about your Elliott kitty as much as you need to. We love to hear stories. Hang in there. Time is what works. Even though the beginning time SUCKS, it does get better...little by little.

Hugs,
Marcie