It's Been A Month, still heartbroken, in pain, help Options

[Hailey-Comet]

It's been a month, yesterday, since I said my final goodbye to my beautiful Hailey-bear. She had such a quite, unassuming presence that there are times when I "forget" she's gone. When I "remember" it's like losing her all over again! Such simple things hit me hard! For example...the snow has begun to melt a bit and I saw the first tuft of backyard grass in months. My first thoughts? That there is still some Hailey poop out there, buried under the snow. I just recently started to pack away my Christmas decorations. They're usually packed by the first week in January but I couldn't bear to pack away her stocking or her ornaments. I still sleep with my black lab stuffed animal, with Hailey's collar around it's neck. The familiar jingle of the tags and the smell of the collar give me melancholly comfort. She was such a huge part of my life for so long. And part of me is scared for this pain to stop.
When Comet died, two years ago, I was a mess. I "heard" his meows and "saw" him everywhere. When we moved to our new house, a few months later, I cried because I was moving somewhere without any memories of him. But it got easier. The pain, not so sharp... the memories, not so clear. I look at his pictures and it's like looking at a childhood scrapbook. I smile, I remember, but I don't feel.
I'm afraid of that happening with Hailey. The pain seems to validate her life. I'm afraid of her becoming only a memory.
I miss her. I want her back. I've been reading about our soulmates finding us again...I want to look in her knowing eyes again. I want a "face bath" (Hailey kisses). I want to see her laying belly up, waiting for someone to notice and give her belly rubs.
I'm sorry for rambling. I just feel like you guys are the only ones who understand me.

[LuvLabs]

Kelly,

I understand how you feel about your dear sweet Hailey. I think part of the grieving process is struggling to move forward. Hanging on to our pain and not wanting to let go. It has only been a month that you lost Hailey. You have years of precious memories that will pull you through the pain. Your tears will lessen...and you will never forget Hailey. Although she is not physically here I feel our babies remain in our hearts forever. Just be patient with yourself as you grieve.

Soon I will be hitting my 4 month mark without my lab Lizzy. I knew I wanted another white English lab after Liz. I had a deposit down on one due at Christmas time. The breeder led me on to think his female was pregnant....she was not. I was so upset. I kept asking Lizzy to send me a baby to love that had some of her personality. I am happy to say the first of Jan. my precious Mandy came into my life. She is pictured on my avatar with my other lab Elly. She resembles Liz and has alot of the same personality traits. Mind you no dog could ever replace Lizzy. However, I have joy in my heart again and laughter in my house as I watch the dogs play. Elly is so thrilled to have a new sister as she was so lonely when Liz left.

I still have times when I can't believe Liz is gone either. I still wonder why I had to lose her so young. But I remind myself of how much she gave while she was here on earth. She provided so much love, protection and companionship to me. I know she is watching over us, and we keep her with us by sharing her memories.