House Is So Empty Options

[MAXIESMOMMY]

My house and me are so empty. How do you get rid of this feeling of emptiness and loneliness? I come home from work and sit on the stairs because I don't want to go in. I have a husband, so it's not like I'm alone all the time. I just miss my little baby soooooo much. I still feel like an empty shell. I don't look forward to anything any more. I used to live for the weekends, now I dread them because I used to spend a lot of time with Max. My house is so quiet. No barking, no crunching puppy bites, no playing and shaking his toys all over the hardwood floor. Just empty and lonely and sad.
I am a supporter of Small Paws Rescue and they said I qualify for a puppy because I am a griever. They said the puppies are heart menders and fix broken hearts. Should I get one to fill up the emptiness? I can't do that to Max. Just replace him. He is sooooo special to me. Would another puppy break my heart again? I can't go through this again. I am already on anti-depressants. What's my next step???? I'm so confused. Do I start doing things that I was restricted from doing before, because I had Max and had to be there to take care of him? But...I don't feel like doing anything. Has anyone been this confused??????? How can I stop this emptiness and sadness and not wanting to do anything? I go to work each day, but I look like hell. I'm ready to cry at anything. I feel like a delicate flower (although I don't look like one), who is just waiting to be crushed. My husband gives me lots of hugs and we cry together. He's very sad also. But he can move on. I am just stuck in this. I have a poem from Marcia about remembering what he has left. I am not concentrating on what WAS anymore, I am concentrating on the here and now and I can't seem to stop missing him so much. What can I do?????? Even if there were things to do.....I don't want to do them!!!!! I'm falling apart.
Thanks for listening
Carol

[DJ - Edgar, Jess...]

Replacing isn't possible. If someone loses a child and then decides to have another one - are they replacing them? No... they feel the need to be a parent and need someone to give their love to. You learn very quickly that your new pet isn't a "replacement". They make their own place in your heart and life.

Do what you feel you NEED. In your heart. I adopted a little kitten four months after Jesse passed away - and I don't regret it at all. Having a little furry baby using Jesse and Edgar's bowls - and playing with their toys - made me feel much better. I DO compare him to them often - in the same way a parent compares two children to each other. One isn't "better" than the other - they are "different'. Animals are, as we all know, very individual - as much as we are.

Yes you should do the things you were restricted from doing. Yes you should move forward, even if it hurts. Yes it will hurt for a long time.

What would Max think of you if you didn't live FOR him? Imagine how silly our loved ones must think we are when they look down at our grief - we waste so much of the little bit of life that is left to us when mourning the loss of THEIRS.

Start simply - find one minute each day when you enjoy something. A ray of sunshine on your face - a joke on tv - the beauty of a coloured leaf - a little child running down the sidewalk... Slowly those moments will expand to a few minutes - and slowly the sad moments will begin to lessen.

And always - always - come and talk to us.