How Do I Stop Crying?, My friend is gone forever Options

[LoveThem]

My beautiful long-haired black cat (my boy) is gone forever. I had to make an instant decision on 9/10 to put him down. The vet said his chest was full of fluid and his gums were blue from very little oxygen. He had struggled to come from the back of our home to the front room to lie down on one side with his mouth open. It was so scary. He got up and moved a couple of feet and did it again. I thought he had died. We rushed him to the vet and he was put on oxygen. The fact he was 16 years old, had lost weight over the past few weeks...well, the vet guessed at a cancer somewhere in his body and what they would have had to do to help him survive maybe 4 weeks, or maybe the next day it would be another emergency to drain his chest. That draining causes a lot of pain. I couldn't let him suffer but I didn't want to let him go either. So the instant decision to put him down. Now I can't stop crying everyday. He was so gentle and sweet. I miss him so. I thought how I had told the vet that purring seemed to choke him up; she said she never heard of that. I said he sits with his tongue hanging out a little. She didn't know what that meant. I saw a picture on the Internet of a cat who was having trouble breathing and his tongue looked just like my boy's. Maybe if the vet understood breathing problems she might have been able to do something before something horrible went wrong all of a sudden and his chest filled with so much fluid, he could not breathe hardly at all. I didn't know when I scooped him up, it would be the last time I would hold him. I've thought about getting a new pet which would be a distraction (I've done that before and it helped) but my husband said it is too soon and he is not ready and we gave away all the cat food and he was upset that if we got another cat or kitten we would have to buy food again. I don't know how to answer that. I have had dogs and cats all my life and believed that when one goes it may be God's way of making a home available for one that needs it. 16 years is the longest I ever had an animal and it was wonderful. I've been to the Emergency Room since and am undergoing GI tests. I think my grief is affecting my digestive system and I don't know how to stop it. This cat was the last to go of 3 kittens originally born in our yard and he was my favorite. Grief is easier to bear when there is at least one other animal at home, at least for me. Thanks for listening. I needed to talk. I would try those Pet Loss Hotlines but they are only at night and I don't want to upset my husband by talking to them when he is here.
I read all everyone's stories and I feel for all of you. We love them so much, that's why there is so much pain. But I wouldn't have not had them to avoid the pain that comes in the future. It is never never easy. I don't know how to bottle my grief.

[LoveThem]

Bonny's Mom: One thing I have found out is that you can only attach one photo to one reply post. You cannnot attach multiple photos to one post but for each reply you can attach a picture. You have to wait at least 20 seconds before doing an additional reply so the forum can catch up with what you are doing.

As far as the size being over 300K. You have to learn about image files. It is best to save a file as a .jpg type. That is much smaller than other types of image files. So your filename can be : Cat01.jpg then another could be Cat02.jpg.

You do have to bring a photo into a graphics program which is a program that handles image files. Many can have a RESIZE option. I usually save my files the size of
800x600 pixels which is the size of my screen, so I can use them as my desktop photo if I want to. Then I go into my graphics program and RESIZE that 800x600 and do it one of 2 ways:
1. I tell the graphics program to scale (reduce) the size to 50% of 800 and 50% of 600.
This gets me a small size under 300K and the picture is 400x300 so I can see it all on the screen at one time. If the picture is bigger...I have to scroll back and forth to see it all and that detracts from the whole picture. See my pictures in Tributes for Little Guy or in New Beginnings for Lucky.

2. Or, I can tell the program to scale the size to 400x300 pixels and get a picture of approximately that size.

Just remember, when you save the new picture...give it a slightly different name so you don't overwrite your original picture in case you want that bigger size for something else.

You have to play around with this and see what happens. Ask any questions as you think of them.

The one picture you posted you said had 2 babies but I only see 1. Is the one I see..Bonnie?

Keep in touch. You can even start a new topic in New Beginnings all about your new family if you want to.

P.S. Bue's Mommy's offer to walk you through it in a PM is also a good idea.

To: Bue's Mommy: Your picture of: a cat in a bag? What did you tell her was in there?