Eddies Passing, my dog eddie is gone and im so sad Options

[eddies mom]

hi everyone! am new here. here is the story of my loss. please be patient with this post as i am grieving so hard. my chocolate lab eddie was put down last week. he had turned 15 one month ago and we had a huge bday party for him with other dogs and pet owners. my husband rescued eddie 14 years ago but i have only been eddies mommy for 4 years. i've been told that 15 years for a dog of eddie's size is amazing but i'm sorry i feel jipped having only had him as my sweetie for only 4 years. eddie had the cutest personality. he loved everyone and couldn't stand not being with us or being touched in anyway. i spoiled him with treats and love so he always came to me for luvin, mpmmy kisses and treats. he'd look for me in the morning if i didnt come in the family room early enough and was so comforting when i was down in the dumps. he hated it when i cried, he'd run cirlces around me or stick his cute little face in between my legs to get me to stop. eddie really started slowing down about 6 months ago. he'd been incontinent for a couple of years but we dealt with it cuz we loved him so much. he had arthritis and nerve damage in his hind legs and a few weeks ago he just couldn't get himself up and would sleep all day and had no interest in food unless hand fed.- he still had plenty of room for treats though. i knew the time was coming but everytime i thought of him not being in my life, i cried. so i've really been mourning for about a year. the last couple of weeks he'd fall on the patio and could't get himself up and would mess himself and neighbors heard him moaning and i felt so guilty for not being home all the time to help him. my husband knew eddie from when he was 1 so my husband had a really hard time with his slow demise and asked me to make a vet appt for him last week just to check in. the vet told us that there was nothing he could do for eddie, that he was simply an old man and that the years had caught up with him. when i woke up that morning i had no idea that that was going to be the day that we were going to put eddie down. the vet talked us through his criteria for assessing quality doggie life and my hubby and i looked at each other and just started bawling, we knew it was time , we knew we'd never be ready but we couldn't stand to see eddie not be able to do for himself or enjoy all of the things he loved to so- be under my feet in the kitchen while cooking, chasing squirrels, swimming( we took him with a life vest a few days before and he was terrified to get into the water), walking down the street to his favorite neighbor's house for some love. he'd fallen really hard the last time we went over, we had to drive him home in a car and i was afraid to walk him that distance again. we bawled in the vet's office while telling eddie what an amazing dog he is, how much we love him and will always love him, we held him and kissed him. it was a good ending as we were terrified we'd come home one day and find him dead in a horrible and lonely manner.

My hubby and dot are moving forward. he is at peace with the decision as he beleived eddie didn't have more than a couple of weeks at most. they got more time with him so though extremely sad, they're moving forward. i, on the other hand hurt so bad. the house is so empty withougt him in it. i keep imagining coming home and seeing his little white eyebrows through the gate peering at me. i hold a pillow at night and pretend that he and i are spooning like we both loved. eddie passed 9 days ago and i'm having difficulty functioning. we buried him in the backyard that he loved, so i go back there and visit him and talk to him. i realize he is no longer suffering and that maks me happy/relieved however, now I am suffering without him in my life and i just feel so empty without him. i just want one more hug/ lick.

thank you so much for listenting and please let me know if you have any encouraging words. i miss my puppy so much.

eddies mom

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[eddies mom]

Cleo and Dayna,

Thank you so much for responding to my post. i spilled my heart out so i'm so thankful to the both of you for responding. also, i am equally sad for your losses. i have lost pets as a child however eddie passing has hit me so hard. i do know that the last two years, eddie was my boy. my husband would always tell me he was now my dog and i have a huge nurturing side so giving to eddie and helping him through his old age was something i was more than happy to do. i just want to beleive that dogs go to heaven and that one day, along with other loved ones, i'll be reunited with eddie.i know you understand the emptiness. i do believe putting him down was the right thing, however my heart has not caught up to the logic of that.

thank you for your kind words, i am sorry you are hurting too . not that i want others to hurt but it's comforting to know that i'm not the only one out there reeling over the death of a beloved pet.
Love,
Eddies mom