Do You Always Feel Like There's Something Undone, I keep wondering what else I can do Options

[5catsmom]

In the midst of all the excitement of graduation, unfortunately one of my in-laws accidentally left a door open and our Shadow cat got out. It's odd, because she's usually not the door bolter, that would be Bear, and he's easy to find, he hangs around. The only way I even know Shadow isn't in the house is that my neighbor saw her - we've recently had her (the cat,not the neighbor) shaved except for her tail, face and legs.

That was 6 days ago, and nothing yet, although we've searched, filed reports, visited shelters, asked neighbors. I'm calling the Post Office tomorrow to see if it's legal to put a flyer in all our neighbors' mailboxes, and maybe get some tips that way.

Is it always like this? I've lost pets before to death, and received incredible support here, but this is different somehow. The not knowing, the constant ache in my heart, the non-stop distraction - how do I do it? Does anyone have any words of advice? I'm not sleeping, not eating real well, I'm nauseaus and irritable and always feeling like I'm passing a chance by (maybe we should have gone down that street instead of this one). I know my family and friends are concerned and praying for me that Shadow comes home, and I know I have to have faith. I'm trying, I really am. If anyone can share any wisdom on how they persevered through this I would really appreciate it. Sometimes I feel like a glass that's about to shatter, and that's scary. Thanks - Barb

[5catsmom]

AlleysMama,
Yes, I had thought of that, and am still considering it. Coincidentally, a day or two before Shadow went missing there was a big article in the Washington Post about a woman who had found a thin sickly tiny kitten in Guam, raised and brought him to this area, and he escaped shortly thereafter. This was in 2003, and she's still searching, sending out fliers, visiting shelters, contacting psychics and animal communicators, using infrared devices, staking out tips, for all this time, to the tune of about $4000, if I recall correctly. The gist of the article, I guess, was the same question I'm so confused about - how much is too much? She says ten years is too much, but in one year, she'll still be looking. She was very pessimistic about communicators, but I'm nearly convinced to try, because now I've heard twice that people feel Shadow is nearby.

xrayspex, moose mom and toonie, thank you for your prayers and thoughts. I've always had my heart just so warmed by how we hold each other up in time of need. It doesn't matter what we do or who we are, on this board we're all animal lovers sharing those feelings and helping during times of need. Thank you seems so insufficient, but - Thank you from my heart.

I just know things need to change, cause I see a nervous breakdown coming fast. This 3 AM - 8 AM sleeping cycle, the shelter every other day (there's a heartbreaking place), the route I take almost all night from front door to back, calling her and calling her, the coons who get so threatening sometimes - it's gotta change. Placing flyers in every mailbox and knowing more than half of them will be tossed and not even read - it gets so discouraging. It helps coming here and venting and knowing so many people are thinking of Shadow and sending her good wishes - I can't thank you enough.

I usually post on the pet death thread, and posted recently that my husband had found a dead cat in the street and I'd taken it to be cremated and for it's pawprints to be done. I thought that was the right thing to do and I didn't know what else to do. I regret that now, in a way. I know now that I should have reported that cat to the Humane Society, that a gray tabby was found dead on our street and would be cremated at my expense and maybe given a few details, such as the whiskers curling on one side, or something. Maybe someone is out there searching and will never know, cause now it's starting to become clear to me, not knowing is going to cause more grief, I think, in the long run, and take more time to come to terms with.

Thank you all for your support and thoughts - they mean so much. Shadow was feral once, before we adopted her, so maybe she'll revert to that lifestyle long enough for me to find her. Long enough for God to help me find her, or someone to lead me to her. Again, thank you. Your words of support mean so much. Take care - Barb