Two Months Today, missing my babygirl Options

[AlleysMama]

It has been two months today since I lost my Alley. Two months! How can it be two months, when it feels like just yesterday I heard those words "nothing we can do" and made that awful decision to let her go. It seems like just yesterday they placed her little body in the cold frozen ground. It seems like just yesterday that the light went out of my life. How can this be two months already?

I have a couple more pictures to share. The first one is the only picture I have of Alley as a kitten. It was so hard to get a picture of her because she just wanted to climb on me! Oh how that changed, lol. Alley was Never a lap cat. Affection was on her terms, her way. What a little cutie she was!



The next picture... the little sailor dress. Oh how she hated the dresses! She just looked too cute in them though, I couldn't resist. My mom had to hold her still for this picture because she kept trying to "back out" of the dress somehow. I love how the picture shows her furry little feet. She had long tufts of hair growing on the bottom between her toes and I always teased her about being sasquatch or something, but I have learned it is common in long haired cats.




I would give anything to have her back, to hold her, for even just one more minute. One more hour, one more day. A lifetime with her might be enough. All the pain of losing her, all the tears these past two months, all the misery and loneliness... I would do it all again, to have one moment to feel her again and hold her close.

Mama loves you Alley. Wait for me.....



I'm Still Here

Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!

Author Unknown

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Dearest Paula,

Oh, I know this day is probably sucking royally for you and I'm so sorry it's another hard one, worse than the others.

The poem was lovely and the pics even better! The one of her as a kitten...well, you can just SEE she's impatiently waiting for you to get finished with that darn contraption and get back where you belonged... with her! You're mom was a brave woman for daring to hold Alley in that dressy pose! Alley looks like she'd like to put her clawsies to good use! I actually really like that last pic your son took cuz you can see Alley's sweet face so much better! I also like how your son's fingers are just squooshing down into her wonderful fur.

I don't blame you for wishing you had her one 'magic' whisker, but then removing it might have felt sort of wrong, too. I know when I took a tiny clipping of Sabin's white tail tip fur, I apologized to him first, and then tried not to remove too much because then I'd see it, before his burial, and it was such a teensie 'fluff' to begin with, that even this little amount took quite a chunk out of it. But it is nice to have in my locket now, alongside his black fur. I'd never mentioned, but when Nissa got older, she had one whisker that was white just for the first 1/2" or so, never more.....strange that it never got longer than that. But their little quirky markings become sooooo special to us, no matter what they were. It's all wrapped up in the love.

Anyway, I hope that work went by fast enough, even if that was just from 'zoning out' in sad reverie. Perhaps being busy today will end up helping some, unless you're like me and just store it up for the next day. Those tears get shed, one way or another, though. Another day, hour, minute with them....no, nothing will really ever do except for an eternity. I think that's what we're ALL waiting to get with our babies....and it's what we all deserve!