I Killed Her Options

[Lisaasr]

On July 6th 2003 my cat "Bean" died from heart disease - he was diagnosed in Dec 2001 was on medication and had been doing really well but suddenly became very ill and passed away. I thought I was going to die too - he was my special little man and I loved him so much. But now something awful has happened. Mimi, Bean's mother is dead and I killed her. I reversed my car over her yesterday morning, I always check to see if any of the cats are near the car but I didn't yesterday, I don't know why I didn't check I always check. Oh God I killed my Mimi. I don't know what to do. I keep reliving it and feeling the bump as the car went over her. I just don't know why I didn't check - I always do, when anyone comes to my house I always make them check before they drive away but I didn't and I killed Mimi. I'm just not coping with this at all. First Bean and now Mimi, How will I ever get over this . Its my fault - I killed her.

Lisa

[Saki & Freyj...]

Oh, Lisa, you poor thing!!!! I know it hurts, I know you are just torn up inside. Please read the other posts and know that we ALL feel responsible when our pets die, that some of us have even had to CHOOSE their time and date of death. But it is not your fault little Mimi is gone.

I am also sorry you have had to suffer two such terrible losses in such a short period of time. I also lost two pets within three weeks of each other, and for awhile I hurt so bad I thought I might just die with them. About all you can probably do now is cry (and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry). That's all I did for a solid month. But eventually, you do cry less.

Do what you can to keep remembering them, and to honor their memory. Put their pictures on the wall, make a web page for them, make scrap books or collages. Plant things for them. If you can bury them or have them cremated, do so, and take care of their remains. Tell people who understand what special wonderful kitties they were... Have services for them (I know it sounds kinda silly, but it can help). Put their special things (tags, collars, toys, etc) in a special place or make a memorial box. Some people wear their tags for comfort.

It's just going to hurt for awhile. Try to be ok with that. I know it feels like you can't breath, but it will get easier. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF. Eat your favorite foods. Spoil yourself. This is a hard time, just like losing a human loved one (although too many people don't understand that) and be very gentle with yourself.

I will say a special prayer for you and Bean and Mimi.

Love,
Jennifer