Tomorrow's The Day, Making the decision Options

[PuppyMom]

[FONT=Times][COLOR=blue]Some people know me as the dog lady. I have 4 beautiful dogs (I call them puppies even though they are all 10 years plus) and some people just don't understand. They are all my children. I love them so intensely and the people on this site can probably all empathize.

My Dixie Dog first started limping the beginning of March and then blew up like a balloon a few days later. The fluid around her sweet heart was so thick that the vet couldn't even see her heart. After 4 days of lasik and a loss of 15 pounds of fluid, she had x-rays that showed her heart very enlarged and bone cancer.

Since then, I've seen her quickly go downhill and today, she finally lost that beautiful light in her eyes. I sit here barely being able to look through mine, because I have made the decision to help her leave this world and go to Sammi and Lexi (the original Alfa when all 5 were here and my first kitty). I can't even believe that I'll be able to do it. I love her soooo much. I'm already doing the guilt thing like that I didn't give her enough attention, etc. The truth is that the amount of attention I've given these beautiful beings is like what most people do for their human kids.

How am I going to play God tomorrow and make this decision? How can I live without her?

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[bellemocha99]

Puppymom- I am sorry you are having to go through this. It has been just over three weeks since I had to put to sleep Mocha. She was my baby...you can go back a ways and read "My Mocha is gone" to get her story. I only had 6 1/2 years with her, but they were absolutely wonderful years. My other dog, Belle, and Mocha had been together since they were a year old. I know she was also grieving Mocha's loss and she really helped me emotionally the first several days. I was so afraid that I would resent her (she is more my husband's dog and mocha mine) but that wasn't the case at all. We bonded more than I thought possible. That may be due to the fact that my husband is gone, so we were going through this together "alone". Belle had some major anxiety issues after the first week and required medication as she was scratching her face raw. I don't know that it was the right decision, but I decided to start looking for another dog to help Belle through this...and for me. I have had Zoey now for a week and Belle is really coming around. I hope that your other puppies can help you through this difficult time. I am sure that they will also help each other as they too will miss Dixie too.

Please know that my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. If you haven't thought about doing so, I recommend buying a kit or something to make a permanent impression of Dixie's paw. I did this with Mocha the night before and now treasure it more than I thought possible. I also did so for my parent's golden that we lost 13 days after Mocha- you can go back and read that also if you would like, named "first mocha, now montana".

I would also like to comment about your decision not to cremate Dixie. It is absolutely your decision and I am not trying to sway you in any way. Just know that there are very good and honest pet crematories out there. I personally took Mocha to the crematory and though it was difficult, the entire process was explained to me, including all the measures taken to ensure her ashes were what I would be gettng back. The owners and operators of the crematory couldn't have been more caring and genuinely sincere. I know that there are not so honest businesses out there (which is a shame) but if that is your only reason not to cremate Dixie, you may consider doing some research of crematories in your area.

I am glad you found this site. There are some great people here who have offered me and others caring thoughts and support.