Tomorrow's The Day, Making the decision Options

[PuppyMom]

[FONT=Times][COLOR=blue]Some people know me as the dog lady. I have 4 beautiful dogs (I call them puppies even though they are all 10 years plus) and some people just don't understand. They are all my children. I love them so intensely and the people on this site can probably all empathize.

My Dixie Dog first started limping the beginning of March and then blew up like a balloon a few days later. The fluid around her sweet heart was so thick that the vet couldn't even see her heart. After 4 days of lasik and a loss of 15 pounds of fluid, she had x-rays that showed her heart very enlarged and bone cancer.

Since then, I've seen her quickly go downhill and today, she finally lost that beautiful light in her eyes. I sit here barely being able to look through mine, because I have made the decision to help her leave this world and go to Sammi and Lexi (the original Alfa when all 5 were here and my first kitty). I can't even believe that I'll be able to do it. I love her soooo much. I'm already doing the guilt thing like that I didn't give her enough attention, etc. The truth is that the amount of attention I've given these beautiful beings is like what most people do for their human kids.

How am I going to play God tomorrow and make this decision? How can I live without her?

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[5catsmom]

PuppyMom,
You have my deepest sympathy for your impending loss, and I can empathize, as so many other people on this board do. I really think you're not so much "playing God" as giving your pup a dignified and peaceful way out of the pain she's in. It's horrible to have to anticipate your loss, but you've come to the right place. Dixie, where she will be after tomorrow, will one day be back with you, and she has Sammi and Lexi to keep her company till then. She won't suffer as much as you will, and are. Tonight will be hard for you, but keep her near you, tell her that you love her (she already knows that, I'm sure), and know that our thoughts and prayers are with you both in the days, weeks and months ahead. You will survive when she's gone - you have to, for your other pups - but it will hurt immensely. Grief has no rulebook or guide to follow, so go with your emotions, and trust your heart. Dixie will always be there for you, in your heart and soul, and she will have changed your life forever.

Pleae come back and let us know how you're doing. We've all been there, and we care and understand, and in time (no matter how cliched it sounds now), you will accept and start to heal. Take care and God bless - Barbara