Taylors Rose, A gift? Options

[Taylorsmum]

Hello.
I just want to share something.

I really love my garden and throughout spring I was planting and landscaping getting all ready for summer.

On the 3rd June we had to let Taylor my beautiful bulldog go.
It has crushed me.
When we returned home I noticed that the first rose on my tree had opened and I was pretty angry about it. Nothing was beautiful anymore. My husband said it's Taylors rose.
I was pretty close to destroying my garden because it seemed obscene that it could start to flourish and look pretty when all I felt was despair.
As days passed I would glance at the rose not really admiring it but feeling it was a reminder.
The last few days the other roses have now opened. They are red. All red, except the first one which is fuscia in colour.
I rang my mum and asked her if roses on the same bush could be a different colour. She told me she didnt think so and had never seen it.

When my husband came home I showed him the rose and asked 'is that a different colour to the rest?' a reality check for me! He said 'yes..why'

I checked out the roses name and they are called 'love knots'.
I have now taken the rose before its petals fall and I am pressing the flower. I will frame it and name it 'Taylor's Rose'.

I asked for a sign that she is somewhere safe and happy. I think I received my sign in a slightly different manner than I was expecting.
When I thought that perhaps my girl sent me a rose I cried a bucket but as a cynic who desperately wants to believe, my strange rose is bringing some comfort.

I like to think she's telling me that she WILL be waiting at Rainbow Bridge.

Think of all those amazing reunions! Peace to you all.

[Taylorsmum]

Hi everyone
It's like one step forward 2 steps back.
I dreamt of my girl for the first time last night. First I had fallen asleep on the sofa (I never do that!), just before really waking up I dreamt that I woke up and looked over at the other sofa and there was my husband, my son and Taylor all fast asleep (something they do often!).
When I actually woke up I just started crying. Went upstairs to bed and dreamt of her all night long, just a mish mash of dreaming and waking. Really horrible.

When I woke up this morning I cried and been off and on all day. Cried in the garden centre, cried driving so its not only supermarkets! They couldn't find a price and by the time they had my eyes were streaming! Im too sad to be embarrassed.

To top it off my girls ashes came home finally today.
I seem to have two states at the moment, heartwrenching pain or numbness.
There were a couple of days I seemed to be making progress now I seem to have gone backwards.

I keep checking my Taylor rose against the others and when I do I seem to lift a bit because they are no way the same colour. I may be a doubting Thomas but I cant doubt what my eyes see. (I even took 2 petals from the other roses so that in the future when doubt creeps in.....) obviously someone knows me very well.

I guess amongst all this pain and so many tears I have something to hold onto.

Peace to you all