Am I Ready? Options

[brandyandsoshi]

My cat, Soshi, died two weeks ago tomorrow.
The day after she died, in an attempt to fill that void, I went online to find a new cat. I filled out an application for an aby rescue (Soshi was aby), and asked about a few cats they had available.
I got a reply that my app was accepted, but that was it.
Just today, an email came about an aby kitten in a high-kill shelter in Northern Cali (I live in the Southern part). I might call about him. I might go get him if he's still there.
There was a pic attatched to the email, and he's beautiful. And in a tiny cage, poor baby.
Am I ready, though?
Would Soshi be mad? Would she think I've forgotten her? I still miss her terribly - will that be fair to a new cat? Am I over-thinking this, as I've not yet even found out if that kitten is still available?
Does anyone have any insight on this, I'm sure someone must, because I'm a little confused...
Love,
Brandy

[brandyandsoshi]

So, a few days ago, I adopted two beautiful boys - kitty boys!
They are ten months old, best friends, and even look alike (but not related!)...
I still feel sad for my Soshi, and panicked a little when I realized I wouldn't know if it was her fur or one of theirs when I spot kitty fur on the floor or wherever.
It sounds weird, but it's still comforting to me to find cat hair everywhere...
I hadn't even cleaned the house until today, because, I think, I wanted to know she was still around somehow. It's been a month, so it took all day to clean.
The sadness still hits me sometimes, just like that....
But my new boys are hilarious. They play with each other, and nap together.
I've told them about their big sis, and I hope she's looking down and watching over us.
I know, though, that she still knows how much I love her.
I've named the new cats George and Ringo.
Love, Brandy