My cat, Soshi, died two weeks ago tomorrow.
The day after she died, in an attempt to fill that void, I went online to find a new cat. I filled out an application for an aby rescue (Soshi was aby), and asked about a few cats they had available.
I got a reply that my app was accepted, but that was it.
Just today, an email came about an aby kitten in a high-kill shelter in Northern Cali (I live in the Southern part). I might call about him. I might go get him if he's still there.
There was a pic attatched to the email, and he's beautiful. And in a tiny cage, poor baby.
Am I ready, though?
Would Soshi be mad? Would she think I've forgotten her? I still miss her terribly - will that be fair to a new cat? Am I over-thinking this, as I've not yet even found out if that kitten is still available?
Does anyone have any insight on this, I'm sure someone must, because I'm a little confused...
Love,
Brandy

Hi Brandy,

I think it's okay to adopt a new kitty cat. That doesnt mean that you will forget Soshi. By doing that you will help another kitty that needs a loving home.

Take Care,
Sheena

I think that so many people fear getting another baby because they are afraid that their pets that have passed on will be 'mad' or 'jealous'. I don't think this is true for one minute. Our furbabies are not like us....they are so unconditionally loving~perfect~that they don't waste their time with such emotions. Some people feel this way because they have had pets that, while still alive, would get 'jealous' or 'mad' at them when another pet was around, but that is just a misinterpretation of animal behavior. Some animals just have stronger instincts than others when it comes to preserving what is theirs, which in their minds, is us!. That doesn't mean that they dislike other furbabies, or that they would have any bad feelings about another watching over us when their time was done here. Actually, I feel like it would be the other way around. They love us so much that we are their main concern, even above themselves, and they would want another furbaby to be with us and to watch over us...to make sure we were ok, and happy.
If you want to compare it to human feelings of jealousy, even that works the same way if you think about it. If you TRULY love your spouse (or partner), when you died, you wouldn't want them to be alone, sad, and crying for the rest of their lives! You would want them to be filled with love and happiness! If my husband were with another woman while I was still living, I would be very jealous and angry...I would kick his @#*, but once I'm gone, I've already told him that I want him to be happy and go on in his life with someone else that brings him love and happiness, and told him that it's ok. I think that is how true love works...thinking of the other person before yourself, and our furbabies want us to be happy. I think that getting another kitty, and at the same time saving a life, is a wonderful idea. It would only honor your baby's life and the unconditional love that he gave you to turn around and give that to another helpless baby....he may even be the one that 'picked out' that kitty and directing you to it................
your friend in grief,
Kim

Brandy,
I agree completely with Kim about this, and I think it's entirely possible that Soshi helped you find this kitten at a time when it needs you as much as you need it. I got another cat soon after my Heidi passed away in 2001 - about 2 weeks later, in fact - and although she was sort of temperamental when she was here with me, I always kind of felt Heidi's been watching through the years in approval as I've adopted 4 more cats. It's defiitely a tribute to the love you and Soshi had, and have, that you can offer love to another pet now. I've never loved or thought less of Heidi when bringing in my other cats, and I think she taught me how to love my other furbabies, in a way.

Please let us know what happens - I'm really happy for you, and Soshi, and any new kitty you adopt. Take care - Barbara

Well, I called the shelter yesterday and got my answer - the little guy has already found a home!
So, I am so happy that kitten found someone, and I know it means my future furbaby is still to come.
I do think Soshi would want me to love another kitty - she just hated other cats! I rescued her from a home with three cats who picked on her, and she was happiest as an only child.
On a different note, I had a dream about her last night. She was healthy, and I was a little surprised to see her (because, of course, I didn't realize I was dreaming), and I was like, Soshi! You feel better! And she meowed (she always used to carry on 'conversations' with you, it was too cute). We talked a little, and I gave her an extra large serving of tuna, because she hadn't eaten in so long (um, yes, she used to get tuna twice a day - high protein diet for her diabetes).
It was comforting. I petted her, too, which I miss terribly.
Well, thank you so much for the input. I guess I knew it already, but I needed to hear it, if you know what I mean.
Love,
Brandy

Because you are looking, it may just be time. I think it is OK and your furbaby would not be mad. Saving a kitty from a kill shelter is a tribute to your love of animals.

Go get him and love him. I think it is a sign.

Grieve and then love again.

Nank

So, a few days ago, I adopted two beautiful boys - kitty boys!
They are ten months old, best friends, and even look alike (but not related!)...
I still feel sad for my Soshi, and panicked a little when I realized I wouldn't know if it was her fur or one of theirs when I spot kitty fur on the floor or wherever.
It sounds weird, but it's still comforting to me to find cat hair everywhere...
I hadn't even cleaned the house until today, because, I think, I wanted to know she was still around somehow. It's been a month, so it took all day to clean.
The sadness still hits me sometimes, just like that....
But my new boys are hilarious. They play with each other, and nap together.
I've told them about their big sis, and I hope she's looking down and watching over us.
I know, though, that she still knows how much I love her.
I've named the new cats George and Ringo.
Love, Brandy

Congratulations on your two new kitties. I'm sure Soshi approves because they bring you happiness. I am sure our lost loved ones wouldn't want us to continue to grieve and suffer-that isn't what life is supposed to be about. Not that it is easy, I lost my Zody over two years ago and I still have bouts of missing him that make me hit the kleenix box. I will always miss him but I do have a little black boy in my life now who makes me laugh and who I also love very much.
I feel all my lost furry loved ones nearby sometimes. The love doesn't die.

Dear Brandy:

I am asked by my readers this same question over and over again - about geting a new pet. It is hard for me to respond to them and tell them one way or the other, but in your case, you seem ready. You are looking and that tells me you feel it is right. Too often people feel guilty about a new pet because they somehow think they are betraying the one who passed on. I think you epitomize just what I teach - when you can go to a shelter and rescue an animal that is on death row, when you can do this, not as an act of replacement, but in honor of the one you lost, you are on the fast track to healing. And by the way, in my book, you are a hero.

So many animals sit waiting for someone to walk in the door and say "that one - I want that one to come home with me". People just like you. You are going to be a hero to someone soon, I can tell.

The other side of the coin is a good one too - that one you rescue will turn around and rescue you from your grief. You will never forget or lose the memory and love of the one or ones who have gone on, but I have found that animal lovers have BIG hearts and there is room for more than just those behind and there are many up ahead.

Good bless and good luck.

I personally, could never own another one. My baby was very possesive of me and I know she would hate it. Also, no other would ever compare to her and I know part of me would just resent a new cat because of that.

I am so sorry about the loss of your precious Sophie. Sophie would definately approve of you saving another abby cats life in memory of her. When I lost the first abyssinian I ever owned, my household was missing the beautiful trills the abyssinian cat makes. Since then have added 2 abyssinians to my home. Go with your heart!!!! I know Tommy had his little paws in the new abbys I brought home!! They are very very special little guys....

I am posting a pic of Frankie, My wonderful little guy who is 13 months old now!!

OH, Frankie is Adorable!!!!!!
I did adopt two new boys, George and Ringo, and although they aren't abys, they are beautiful! I think Ringo may have some aby in him, as he has ticking and is sleek and small like Soshi was. Both are white with gray, black and tan tabby markings. George is our 'tom' - big, burly, and into everything! Ringo is smaller, but plays just as hard! They are 10 months old.
It's wonderful getting to know them. I wasn't so sure I should get them, but my house was soooooo empty and painfully quiet, and if I can make a home for some homeless cats, then I will. I adopted them from a resuce, a non-kill one that rescues from kill shelters. My husband actually insisted I get them, even though he's allergic to cats (!), and he's since begun taking allergy meds...he wanted to cheer me up, I think.
Anyway, it's worked out well for me. George and Ringo will never replace Soshi, but I do have enough love for them, too.

Thats great that you adopted 2 cats in need of a wonderful home! Sophie would be very proud of you for saving these 2 special boys. They will never replace Sophie, but they will capture your heart as Sophie did in their own special way. Our hearts are big enough to love more than once.

Frankie has just taken over my heart! This little guy is sooo special. He has added a new personality to my home...Along with his older brother Dion!

P.S My little Frankie fell in love with a stray kitten we were feeding, they became best friends. It is remarkable how they bonded. Now I have george who is trying to trill like a abyssinian...

May you have a happy home with your new kids!!