My Patch Is Gone, 15 years of my life have changed Options

[mkjones]

Its been almost 2 days. I still cant belive I will never see him again.

He was like a brother and also like a son. I miss him too much for words to explain.

This is the 2nd grief website I have visited and people say it will get better but today was the worst.

I feel sad because I will never see him again.
I feel guilt becuase of I had him put down alone in the vets surrounded by no one who loved him.
I feel anger that he has been taken.
I feel empty inside whenever I think about him.

My home no longer feels like my home.

It feels like no one else understands but me.


God saw you were getting tired
and your cure was not meant to be
so he put his arms around you
and whispered "COME TO ME"

A golden heart stopped beating
adoring eyes closed to rest
God broke our hearts to prove
he only takes the best

Thank you for listening.

[howzerdo]

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry about Patch.

You wrote "...people say it will get better but today was the worst."

I too believe it will get better - but for me the first two weeks were spent with sudden, frequent, uncontrollable waves of intense grief. That still happens occasionally now (over 3 months later), but with intensity.

You wrote "I feel sad because I will never see him again."

Yes. I understand that sadness. But I believe you will see him again, someday.

You wrote "I feel anger that he has been taken.
I feel empty inside whenever I think about him."

These are normal feelings. I felt - and sometimes still feel - exactly the same way. In my experience, eventually, the anger subsides - and the emptiness begins to be replaced with happier memories, of all the good times.

You wrote "My home no longer feels like my home."

Oh, yes, how I remember this. Ten years ago, when my beloved Howie died at age 15, I had to rearrange the living room furniture for a while. And the house felt so empty - his aura in life had been huge. Eventually, I got a puppy, and the house started to feel like home again. His home. (How the years flew by! He just died in September at age 10, and that is reason I found this list.)

You wrote "It feels like no one else understands but me."

Trust me, the people on this discussion board absolutely understand. I have found it a great comfort these past three months.

I know that your Patch was blessed to have you to love him. And I have no doubt he loved you very much.

Gina