Its been almost 2 days. I still cant belive I will never see him again.

He was like a brother and also like a son. I miss him too much for words to explain.

This is the 2nd grief website I have visited and people say it will get better but today was the worst.

I feel sad because I will never see him again.
I feel guilt becuase of I had him put down alone in the vets surrounded by no one who loved him.
I feel anger that he has been taken.
I feel empty inside whenever I think about him.

My home no longer feels like my home.

It feels like no one else understands but me.


God saw you were getting tired
and your cure was not meant to be
so he put his arms around you
and whispered "COME TO ME"

A golden heart stopped beating
adoring eyes closed to rest
God broke our hearts to prove
he only takes the best

Thank you for listening.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry about Patch.

You wrote "...people say it will get better but today was the worst."

I too believe it will get better - but for me the first two weeks were spent with sudden, frequent, uncontrollable waves of intense grief. That still happens occasionally now (over 3 months later), but with intensity.

You wrote "I feel sad because I will never see him again."

Yes. I understand that sadness. But I believe you will see him again, someday.

You wrote "I feel anger that he has been taken.
I feel empty inside whenever I think about him."

These are normal feelings. I felt - and sometimes still feel - exactly the same way. In my experience, eventually, the anger subsides - and the emptiness begins to be replaced with happier memories, of all the good times.

You wrote "My home no longer feels like my home."

Oh, yes, how I remember this. Ten years ago, when my beloved Howie died at age 15, I had to rearrange the living room furniture for a while. And the house felt so empty - his aura in life had been huge. Eventually, I got a puppy, and the house started to feel like home again. His home. (How the years flew by! He just died in September at age 10, and that is reason I found this list.)

You wrote "It feels like no one else understands but me."

Trust me, the people on this discussion board absolutely understand. I have found it a great comfort these past three months.

I know that your Patch was blessed to have you to love him. And I have no doubt he loved you very much.

Gina

patch was not with out a person loving him ,you were there
thats only thig that mattered to him
hes probably playing with my baby right now,he justleft 2 days ago
personaly i would rather be at rain bow bridge so i could be with him but someone told me they dont want us to hurt any more than we do them and it is i have to admit true so i think do the same for patch hang in think of him as he does youwith unconditional love we will all be together again soon for now let them play theyre all waiting on us
do no harm

I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your beloved, "Patch." You have come to the right place to share your grief as the posters on this site understand your pain and wish you strength and hope in dealing with it. In believing that Patch had the best life on this earth and brought joy to everyone who knew him, maybe some time in the future your heart will begin to heal and you will remember the good times, not the last sad days. Your poem brought tears to my eyes, and the picture of your beloved furbaby is adorable and poignant. Please continue posting whenever you feel the need. You have friends here. Once again, so sorry...

Thank you all of you. Every day I remember him more through the photos I have of him and the memories of his qwirks and the fun we had.

I read somewhere that if you spend a lifetime without a pet a part of your soul is left unawakend. I feel as if Patch woke that part of my soul and now it crys out in pain.

But it is a part of me filled with fond memories of my best friend and the times we had.

For me, the first two weeks were agonizing, and I think my family really wondered about my sanity and whether I'd ever be myself again. Then the holidays came, and I had to focus on other things so my family and the other cats wouldn't think I'd abandoned them. The furniture in the living room had to be rearranged so the table would fit, and I had to move Magic's favorite chair. I still haven't moved it back to where it was, and I think that was helpful. Then I believe I received 2 signs from Magic letting me know that she was okay and I didn't need to grieve as much as I was, to the exclusion of paying attention to family and other pets (okay, maybe the signs were wishful thinking, but I'll take what I can get). So time and those "signs" have helped to ease the pain. It's still there, but the deep aching loneliness is now more of a sad pang. I don't think that will ever go away, but then I don't think Magic has really gone away - I kinda feel her presence sometimes, and I appreciate that.

So - there's no easy way to get over the grief. I kept telling myself for weeks that I needed to stop this behavior and the crying and the sadness, then it came to me that this is how grief goes. There's just no getting away from it cause it'll follow you till you come to terms with it. But you will, in your own time and your own way. People on this board are very generous with their support and words of advice, and since they're veterans of this pain (so to speak), and they're such caring people, it's all good advice.

Please take care, give yourself time to cry and be angry, and please come back and let us know how you're doing. My deepest sympathies.

i'm sorry to hear about your patch.. healing does take a long time. the worst part is coming home to find your loved one wont be there.. i find myself crying a lot when i go through and read every one's grievance and i'm crying more for them than myself.. this new year will be tough..take itone day at a time.. i lost my dobie, heidi on xmas evening i know the next few christmases wont be the same. i cry a lot still and carry a box, a big box of tissues in my car and visine whenever i go to work or anywhere else. it's hard when customers at my job always ask me how my xmas was and i have to lie cause i know i'll start crying. i know my heidi will be there to greet Patch and to show all the sites of heaven. God bless you.. i'll be praying for you..