I Can't Believe Nikki's Gone, missing my Nik-Nik Options

[dawnb93]

In 1997, I went to the SPCA looking for a puppy. I got an angel instead. Those huge knowing eyes staring out at me from behind the metal cage begged to be loved as no other did. She survived the mean streets of New Orleans, then parvovirus (which she had contracted at the shelter), mange, coccidia, and kennel cough. And that was all in the first three months of her life. She was the sweetest, most loyal, loving dog I'll ever have the privilage of sharing my life with. I was only graced with her presence for a mere eight years, but even a hundred years wouldn't have been enough. We had a connection, a bond that formed between us from the day I brought her home and introduced her into the family. She sensed when I was sad, when I was mad, and even when I was coming home from work. It didn't matter what time of day, if I came home five hours early, she would know and would be waiting by the window as I turned down the street. And when she died this morning, she was in the hospital across the lake, I was at home getting ready to go see her, and I knew. I knew she had passed. We beat the parvovirus, but couldn't beat the cancers that ravaged her liver and pancreas. She was the sweetest, most beautiful girl that God ever put on this planet and she is already sorely missed by Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, her four legged sisters and brother, and everyone whose life she touched. To my Nik-Nik, my Nicker-do, my Nicker-doodle-dandy, I love you so much. You can never be replaced. You will remain in my heart forever and ever. I just can't see how I can go on without you in my life. I can't bear to think of another day without those bright eyes looking up at me and that broad smile that always made me smile. What I wouldn't give to scratch behind those little rose ears again or to take you out back for a quick game of fetch. She was my baby, my light, my heart. Now my light has been extinguished and my heart has been ripped from my chest. I adore her still and I miss her more than words can say. I've lost pets before when I was a child, but nothing could have prepared me for this pain. "If tears could build a staircase and heartache make a lane, I'd walk the path to Heaven to bring you back again."

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[AngelBaby]

Toty's mum:

Thank you for the kind words and I will keep you in my prayers too. I hope to post a picture of my Toffee soon for you all to see. I am very proud of him. I adopted him from the shelter when his previous family dumped him off. All I know about him is that his previous owners didn't want to take care of him anymore, he was "over 10 yrs+" and they called him "ugly". How cruel. I saw his picture on petfinder.com and called immediately the next day for them to put him on hold for me as I made the 3-hour drive.

My daughter and I decided on the name we would call him as we were driving because before we started out we had stopped at Starbucks Coffee for a Toffee Nut Frappaccino. When we got there my little sweetheart (a 6 lb white toy poodle) was trembling from head to toe... he couldn't stop shaking. He had very bad breath because the 8 teeth he had left were rotten (the vet pulled his remaining teeth out 5 days after I got him.) He was so skinny you could not feel any fat on him just skin and bones and his spine sticking up on his back. His tail was tucked tightly under and he walk with a little "hop and a skip" limp. When you reached to pet him he winced like he was going to be hit. I LOVE YOU, TOFFEE. I cry when I remember the condition you were in. Such a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL LOVING SOUL was housed in that delicate little body. I can't see through my tears now to type. I miss you! You taught me a love and gentleness I never experienced before. You were so sweet and funny you made me laugh every day! I miss seeing you curled up in your pile of pillows, quilts and feather covers - you looked like you were sleeping on a cloud. I miss hand feeding you three times a day!!

After I had Toffee for a week I realized that my little darling couldn't hear. Although he liked the vacuum cleaner and would stand right next to it when it was turned on. (I think he could hear that.) I called him my "brave little toaster". I only had him for a short time - 1 year, 4 months and a few more days. This dear little boy came into my life and healed a secret lonely spot in my heart that I was hiding. He is my AngelBaby. I miss having Toffee in my arms. I LOVE YOU, TOFFEE.