I Just Joined... I Just Lost My Sweet Pea, Doug, i lost my dog Options

[dougsmom]

I am in shock I guess. He played with me this morning, though I noticed some limping. He was a French Bulldog, and they have back problems pretty often I guess.

After a few hours, he was yelping when I touched him! I took him to the vet, he was fine, the vet couldn't find anything. When I got there to pick him up, he was yelping again. I made plans to bring him in tomorrow. Took him home, he was acting very strangely- like he was confused, didn't want to go inside. It breaks my heart to even think about it.

I took him to the emergency vet. Had to go to work for a few hours, which frankly sucked. When I got back, he had just passed- he was in distress from the pain and they were trying to sedate him. They gave him steroids, noting helped his mouth- it was getting more and more swollen. Couldn't get the tube in his throat! He was choking to death, and it kills me. They had to knock him out, then he stopped breathing.

I don't know how to say good bye to him. I was with his body and just cried and cried. I feel awful that I wasn't there at his terrible time of distress! Why is what I keep asking over and over.

I have a cat who keeps going to the door, looking for Doug. He's in my lap now, which is weird for him, he is not a lap cat. But he's being so sweet and supportive now. I appreciate this board- I just had to vent and write it out.

Doug was a total, complete love bug. Snuggled with me every night, always greeted me with his special snorting way, loved to run around with me. I am lost, he was such an immense force in my life.

[dougsmom]

Thanks again, to everyone on here, and may you find peace and joy again soon.

I am still in utter disbeief about Doug. It's only been 3 days, and it feels like years have gone by! I still cry so much I don't know where the tears come from, but I have also been trying to think of all the warm, perfect, joyful memories with Doug- the thing is, that's exactly what each day brought with him! I can honestly say that I never once was mad at him, he was the best friend, such a perfect sweetheart. So it's not hard at all to think of all the absolutely wonderful memories I have with Doug.

Today I freaked out because I realized I won't hug him again- and that tears me apart. It was my favorite- he would bury his head in my neck and I would hug him so long... I loved Doug so much. I find myself putting my arms out to encompass his little body and he's not there. Well his physcial body isn't, but I know he's with me...

I know you all can relate to what I am trying to get across- just had to write it out, I guess, because it's sooo hard to wrap my head around.

I did put his things out again. The night he passed, I was so upset, just hysterical, and I madly put everything away. I couldn't bear looking at anything of his. But now I have pictures out, his toys are in sight, and I have his blanket and bed out on my chair here in my office. I now feel that I NEED to see these things.

Thanks everyone. I am thinking of you and your beloved babies.