Does Anyone Else Not Want To Vacuum? Options

[tammy]

I'ts been 5 days since my cat Diapey died. My apartment is a total mess. But I don't want to vacuum because it will suck up her cat hair and I feel like it will be "erasing" her from ever being here. And I don't want to wash the blanket on top of my bed because I think that too will be wiping her away. If I wash the blanket and vacuum, what's left here of her?! Does anyone else feel like that?

I'm supposed to go on vacation with friends a week from tomorrow and I just don't think I'll be up for it. Should I make myself go? Any recommendations? If I don't go, how do I explain this to my friends without sounding like a crazy person?

And it really sucks to to wake up in the morning, and as soon as I open my eyes, my heart just sinks.
I don't even have to think about her; my heart is so heavy.

Thanks for listening again. And I am sorry to all those who have lost their pets too.
-Tammy

[Bella'sDad]

My wife and I had the same conversation about this.

We are heartbroken and sick.

We know that life goes on and we have been trying to save everything we can. Bella was cremated and is now with us at home. We found a very nice wooden box with antique metal trim and a matching lock--it just looks like Bella. We also have her toys, collar, harness and her meds from when she was sick. Those items will go into the box with her ashes when we get the plaque with her name, date of birth, date of departure. Don't worry, Bella's ashes are in a sealed plastic baggie.

We have swept and vacuumed the house. I cleaned my car this weekend and vacuumed, but there is still a hair here and there. I even put one on my dashboard and it has not moved, even with the windows down. I cleaned the inside and outside of the windows of the car. There was an area on the front passenger's side window where Bella left smudges from her nose. I wiped them away and had to acknowledge that I had to move on past some reminders, they are just too painful.

We left her nose smudges on our sliding glass door that leads to the back yard. We will never be able to clean that glass. No way.

I have her red aluminum rabies vaccination tag on my key chain. It is in the shape of a heart, for me that is a better daily reminder of how much we loved her and she loved us.

We have washed the blankets that Bella loved to lay on and be covered with. That was difficult. The one we took with us to the vet to wrap her in when we had to put her to sleep has been washed. It had been soiled. It is now clean and we use it everyday.

I guess I am trying to give examples of when we knew it was time for these things to eventually happen. You will know when it is time, please do not beat yourself up when you do it. Even if you don't do it, you will know it is right. They will live on forever in our memories. I had always thought that cliche was silly. I now understand.

Mommy and Daddy miss you Bella, rest easy babygirl.......