Does Anyone Else Not Want To Vacuum? Options

[tammy]

I'ts been 5 days since my cat Diapey died. My apartment is a total mess. But I don't want to vacuum because it will suck up her cat hair and I feel like it will be "erasing" her from ever being here. And I don't want to wash the blanket on top of my bed because I think that too will be wiping her away. If I wash the blanket and vacuum, what's left here of her?! Does anyone else feel like that?

I'm supposed to go on vacation with friends a week from tomorrow and I just don't think I'll be up for it. Should I make myself go? Any recommendations? If I don't go, how do I explain this to my friends without sounding like a crazy person?

And it really sucks to to wake up in the morning, and as soon as I open my eyes, my heart just sinks.
I don't even have to think about her; my heart is so heavy.

Thanks for listening again. And I am sorry to all those who have lost their pets too.
-Tammy

[luv_my_catz]

I cannot vacuum - I wear the same pants over and over that I wore the last time I held CC - his Angora hairs still cling to my black denim ~ I lay on the floor where he used to rest and weep ~ this is so hard ~ I just want my baby back ~ my hugger bug ~ Thanks for listening ~ I am bereft ~ trying to work the weekend here at my desk but keep seeing images in my heart and mind of empty space and a little pink nose that I will never feel against my face again ~

In Sincere Caring and Consumed with my own sadness ~ Kathryn