Does Anyone Else Not Want To Vacuum? Options

[tammy]

I'ts been 5 days since my cat Diapey died. My apartment is a total mess. But I don't want to vacuum because it will suck up her cat hair and I feel like it will be "erasing" her from ever being here. And I don't want to wash the blanket on top of my bed because I think that too will be wiping her away. If I wash the blanket and vacuum, what's left here of her?! Does anyone else feel like that?

I'm supposed to go on vacation with friends a week from tomorrow and I just don't think I'll be up for it. Should I make myself go? Any recommendations? If I don't go, how do I explain this to my friends without sounding like a crazy person?

And it really sucks to to wake up in the morning, and as soon as I open my eyes, my heart just sinks.
I don't even have to think about her; my heart is so heavy.

Thanks for listening again. And I am sorry to all those who have lost their pets too.
-Tammy

[lewcynt]

Hi Tammy,
I was the opposite. I had almost went on an immediate cleaning spree of my home. After Odin died, Loki was constantly searching the house looking for his brother. It was heart wrenching to watch him do this because it was non-stop. I think I waited a little over a week before I started to wipe furniture down and try to get rid of Odin's scent. It wasn't until after I did I think that that Loki realized that his brother wasn't coming back, which has helped both of us move on. I still have a blanket with Odin's scent and his collar and a clipping of his fur that I took from him the last time that I saw him which I will always keep.

I saw the cleaning as a way to get rid of all the "bad luck" that was inflicted on us. Among other things, my husband was hospitalized last month and two weeks after that Odin died. I had wanted to create a "spirit-friendly" environment and bring in the positive forces that would help us. I believe that the body is just a shell and that it's the spirit or energy that remains that matters. I know Odin is still there with us. I still feel him with me sometimes. I have his ashes in the house looking out his favorite window, which I know that he would approve of. Its hard when you desperately want something to hold onto. Sometimes memories and photos aren't enough. I know I get like that sometimes myself. You need to do what you think is best for youself, only when you are ready though.

Take Care,
Cynthia