Does Anyone Else Not Want To Vacuum? Options

[tammy]

I'ts been 5 days since my cat Diapey died. My apartment is a total mess. But I don't want to vacuum because it will suck up her cat hair and I feel like it will be "erasing" her from ever being here. And I don't want to wash the blanket on top of my bed because I think that too will be wiping her away. If I wash the blanket and vacuum, what's left here of her?! Does anyone else feel like that?

I'm supposed to go on vacation with friends a week from tomorrow and I just don't think I'll be up for it. Should I make myself go? Any recommendations? If I don't go, how do I explain this to my friends without sounding like a crazy person?

And it really sucks to to wake up in the morning, and as soon as I open my eyes, my heart just sinks.
I don't even have to think about her; my heart is so heavy.

Thanks for listening again. And I am sorry to all those who have lost their pets too.
-Tammy

[j4lorn]

My goodness Tammy, this is exactly how I felt too after my Jake passed on -- I absolutely did NOT want to vacuum for the longest time! I didn't want the days to pass either, I wanted to stay as close to the day when Jake was alive as I could and every day that passed, every revolution of this earth, took me furthur away from him and I hated it.

You probably don't know my story but my Jake had a seizure, out of the blue, completely unexpected, that caused major brain damage and he died within a week. After he died I had the strongest urge to get down on my hands and knees and examine the carpet by the window where he fell and had the seizure, as if expecting to find part of him there or something. I am not ashamed to admit I gave in to the urge, it was overwhelming so I did it, I looked and looked everywhere he had usually liked to lay too... over time all of my strange urges passed. I did finally start vacuuming again, but hey, not until I felt like it, I didn't care what anybody thought either! Nobody really cares anyway, and it's your life, so do what you have to do.

grief makes you a little crazy at first, but that's ok, its just part of the process.