New Addition, Introducing Cleo Options

[Gort]

Greetings one and all, it's been sometime since I've posted. I've lurked the forums often but haven't posted. I've read most of the posts that the new members have made at some point. For the new members that might be interested, this was my original post:

http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.ph...517&hl=the+pain

It's been a little over 7 months since Ava passed away and I thought I was ready for a new fur buddy. I had been surfing the rescue and humane society pages looking for a German Shepherd Dog but the ones I inquired about basically told me 'that things wouldn't work out' when they found I didn't have a fenced yard and used a cable run. I could have lied about it but I'm not that type.

This past weekend, I had a local gig. When I arrived to set up, my music partner was already there which in itself is a little unusual but that's an entirely different story. My partner had a dog in the back of his jeep which isn't unusual, he's more or less become a second SPCA here in town and quite oftens takes in dogs that people drop off with him for one reason or another. He is pretty good with animals and either finds them a home or just keeps them himself. This black dog had monsterous erect GSD type ears and I also noted she was female. I thought to myself, 'nice looking dog' and went into set up. When I went in, my partner says "so... did you check out YOUR dog?" My reaction was huh? I asked what her name was and he said that he didn't know so I guess it was up to me to come up with a name.

I have to admit that I was impressed with the dogs looks but it certainly caught me off guard. After setting up, we went out into the parking lot and let the dog loose for a couple minutes. She stayed close to us and didn't run for cover or away. Pretty good for about 6 months old. She would circle around never getting more than 20 mtrs away before coming back to us. He told me to take the dog for a test run and if things didn't work out, to bring her back to him. I agreed and then loaded her into the back of my truck (the box of my truck is covered with a canopy) and immidiately went to the grocery store to get some puppy food, milk bones and some rawhide bones.

It didn't take long to put the pulley and chain back onto the cable that I had taken down after Ava had passed away and introduce her to the inside of my house. She was pretty nervous but seemed to adapt pretty quickly... now to figure out a name for her. She has the body, head and tail of a GSD but her coat makes me think she is crossed with a black lab. I've never been one for 'ordinary' names even though I called her 'Blackie' when I first saw her in my partners jeep. Her radar dish sized ears reminded me of those Egyptian statues with the human body and a jackal's head (Anubis). I decided to call her Cleo (short for Cleopatra). Cleo seems very smart and has almost mastered sit on command already.

Now this is the part that has blown me away and I don't understand at all. On the first full day of having Cleo (last Sunday), I found myself crying... missing Ava. Since then I've cried hard everyday for Ava as if she had just left me. It's like it was only yesterday that Ava passed away. I have no idea why the tears have come back so hard especially seeing as it had become rare for me to cry over her. I don't think I'm comparing Ava to Cleo or visa versa. I know it's been 'forever' since having to deal with a pup and training. I know that I think about how well Ava knew what to do and when but that comes after 15 years of being together. My band partner called awhile ago to see how the dog was doing. I said the dog is fine but I don't know about me and started crying again. I'm crying as I write this. I just don't understand the rush of emotions that have come over me since getting Cleo. I guess I wasn't quite as ready as I thought I was for a new fur buddy. I hope I get over this soon.

Here's a picture of Cleo... tough to get a pup to hold still for a picture.

[Gort]

Today was a better day than yesterday... my emotions are still at the surface though. I'm still in a quandary on what I should do.

Thanks Lynn, I'm trying to 'hang in' as best as I can but I'm still stressing. I had the day in the field but the first part of the day was on private land so I couldn't take Cleo. I did pick her up afterwards and headed out into the boonies for the afternoon. It's getting close to the end of break up (break up is the term for spring thawing conditions where roads 'break up' due to moisture and frost at night, thawing in the day and generally too wet to log without doing major ground disturbance) so there isn't alot of logging activity at the moment. A good time to take Cleo out with me. She even managed to jump into the back of the truck on her own with several other attempts falling just short and I caught her and gave her the extra boost into the back. I was quite proud of her for getting in on her own. I took her for a walk after work in the fields at the end of my dead end street as well (I don't run anymore unless there is bear after me ). She wasn't on the leash most of the time so she was able to run around quite a bit more. I started writing this post and realized Cleo was 'out of sight' as in not in my computer room so I had to investigate. I found her sleeping in the living room in the rough area where Ava liked to sleep as well. Phew, no chewed furniture.

Yes CheriAnn, I think very highly of Cleo and her potential which is one of the reasons that I have been questioning my situation as a dog owner and the time that she deserves. I just feel I'm short changing her and by the same token, I might sort of be short changing myself. Since my son moved away last August followed by Ava passing on in September, I have never been truely single/alone. When I moved out of my parents house, I moved in with my wife to be, then came marriage and kids. Then the divorce after 7 years but I kept custody of my son and was in on going custody wars for my daughter with my ex. So you see, I'd never experienced 'total independence' until after Ava went to the Rainbow Bridge. I've felt lonely particularly after losing Ava but that was getting better and wasn't such a bad thing. I love a dog's company but I am also having selfish thoughts, that I just can't up and do something for a few days or weeks without making arrangements to have Cleo looked after. Up until last summer, my son had been here to look after Ava so there was never an issue in that regard before. I didn't realize that I'd really thought about this aspect until after taking in Cleo. I knew I had the thoughts but it didn't sink in until after, damn hard to explain. So it's a bit a of a dilema for me.

BTW, good idea on putting something on the chain to repel her playing with/biting the portion that hangs down but I have no idea what to use that wouldn't ultimately be toxic and make her sick. Any suggestions? I have a couple of balls and rawhide chews in the yard for her to play with but Cleo doesn't seem all that interested in them. She'd be happy chasing the wheel barrow tire if I were pushing it around. I'll see about getting a soccer ball and a something we can tug of war with if she is into that. I'll keep my eyes open for someother toys that might play with. I don't think getting a second, older dog would be very good without a fenced yard. I'm feeling bad enough about my practices of chaining at the moment and to have 2 dogs chained would be a continuous tangle city.

I phoned a fencing company today to see if I get a quote on fencing the back yard. The local fencing company got busted for a grow op of all things, so the next one I know of is in a city 2 1/2 hours away. I've thought about putting in a kennel but that would be more restrictive than the area she can access now on the cable/chain set up and considerabley more inconvenient over all. Granted the biting the chain issue would be resolved... I've thought about fencing a portion of my yard, that would make the part of my yard that isn't fenced, useless. Not ruled out but seems like of waste of property. I will measure the area and give the company the demensions and they will quote me a price for the various heights and extras, like gates. A quote won't cost me anything and perhaps it will be cheaper than I think it will be. I'm pretty sure it will be over $5000 to do.

Kathryn, I hear what your saying. I love cats too and they each are individuals, probably more so in some ways than a dogs. I miss my tortoise shell Mot, still. She died several years ago. I know about crating which IMHO is not an acceptable solution for a big dog. They need their space even if it is at the end of a chain. It might be okay for miniture type dogs, but I just don't see it as an option for me.

J4lorn, thanks BTW. You were the first to respond to my original post back in September. I still appretiate that. I don't know if I would be happier with a cat instead of a dog, it was just a thought. As I said, I love cats too, but they aren't the same as a dog. Both have their pros and cons. As you can see I am looking into an alternative to the chain/cable run, whether I can afford it or not is a different story.

Part of me wants to keep Cleo forever already and part of me doesn't think I can do a proper job of raising her under my present cir%%stances. I going to take her to the vet on Friday to get her shots and a check up and inquire about spaying. I will have to think very hard on what is best for Cleo in the long run (no pun intended). OMG, I'm long winded.