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 I Put Away Some Things, Of My Darling Snookie |
 Apr 14 2005, 03:57 PM
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 1,165 Joined: 31-October 04 Member No.: 538  |
I put away some things away that belonged to my darling Snookie girl. I put her sweaters away and stored them in the closet. With it I put her tug of war rope for I could not bear to give it up. We played with it so many times over the years. I put way her ball with her teeth marks in it. I also put away all the pictures I had of her when she was so sick, and the ones I took of her after she left this world. Yes, I was morbid and I took many pictures right after she died. I even took them of her in the car when I was taking her to the vet.
I think the pictures of her dying and of her death cause me to much pain. I would look at them all the time, and I would say look what I did to my baby who I loved more than anything upon the face of the earth. I made her suffer because her vet was not in because of the Christmas Holiday and I only wanted him. So now just the pictures are on my computer when she was well and healthy. They are the only ones I left in the picture book too. I could not bear the other pictures of her looking so ill any longer. I took many after she died and I took more when I had her in the car to make the 80 mile trip to have her creamated. I just kept torturing myself looking at those picture every day since she left me. Maybe now I will be able to get over the guilt feelings and be able to find peace somehow. I never told any of you that I was looking at those picture day in and day out. Somehow I felt I deserved to be tormented for my selfish act of not taking my girl to the emergency room when I knew she was so sick. I felt I deserved to feel bad for what I had done to my darling. Maybe now my heart will begin to heal since I am no longer looking at them. I hope God will find a way to help me forgive myself for my selfish act of not helping her when I knew I should have. I just wanted her vet to perform the final act of love who she knew and loved and I knew her vet loved her too. Ann -------------------- My girls went to the Rainbow Bridge 6 weeks and 3 days apart. Snookie had cushing's disease, and later developed diabetes. Both had cancer, Snookie had cancer of the liver, and Chili Bean had cancer of the pallet. Chili Bean was our son's chihuahua but we kept her often throughout her life and she stayed with us for the last 9 months of her life. Chili Bean also had asthma and heart failure. We will see you in Heaven my precious darlings. Snookie Lynn Howard 2-04-94 - 12-26-04 Senorita Chili Bean Bubbles Howard 11-05-94 - 11-11-04 |
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Posts in this topic
bohummer Ann,
Maybe the pictures after her death were just... Apr 14 2005, 06:30 PM Kimi Dear Ann,
Please don't be so hard on yourself... Apr 14 2005, 07:13 PM Rusty's Mom Dear Ann,
I think putting away those sad, sad pic... Apr 14 2005, 07:26 PM Ann H Thanks so much. I guess I should have put those th... Apr 15 2005, 02:07 AM CheriAnn Dear Ann,
You certainly did keep it a secret... Apr 15 2005, 06:58 AM Kristie Ann,
I'm going to repeat everyone else here..... Apr 15 2005, 09:34 AM Pamela Ann Howard!!!!!! You do no... Apr 15 2005, 10:04 AM litebrez Hi Ann,
I have been traveling the last two weeks a... Apr 15 2005, 10:23 AM Kathleen032 Dear Ann...dear, sweet Ann...you loved Snookie wit... Apr 15 2005, 09:52 PM Del Dear Ann,
I don't know you as the others here ... Apr 15 2005, 11:21 PM Ann H You all are such a comfort to me and I must tell y... Apr 16 2005, 02:10 AM Del Dear Ann,
In order to get past negative thoughts, ... Apr 16 2005, 09:00 PM BabyHannahsMom Dear Ann,
I understand what you have been going th... Apr 17 2005, 01:15 AM
Ann H Dear Marcia, Thanks so much for the beautiful poem... Apr 17 2005, 04:13 AM  |
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