My Sweet Sadie, I lost my dog today Options

[Del]

Hello to all,
I was glad to find this site. I really need to share my thoughts with people who understand. This morning I said goodbye to my beloved friend, my dog Sadie. She was a Dalmatian and would have been 14 on the 26th of this month. I am so sad. Sadie was my first dog who was my very own. She was my baby girl.

Over the last 2 years she was beginning to show her age, but she still enjoyed life and even though she had days when all she did was lie around, she played and ran around quite a bit, especially for a Dal of that age....until last night when she took a fall down some steps. I knew by morning that it was time for her to go. And as hard as it was for me, I called the vet and scheduled the appointment.

At 12:00 PM on April 9th, 2005, my sweet Sadie Ann took her last breath. I was with her, along with two of my dear friends who also loved her. Sadie has the best vet in the world. He's been with her since she was a pup and it was so comforting knowing that he was going to help her pass on. I know this was the best thing for her, but it's so hard. I am lucky to have another wonderful Dalmatian named Jake who is also my baby boy and a lot of supportive friends who understand, but there's something about writing down your thoughts when something like this happens.

I've cried all day....and I mean...allllll day long. I am finally at a point where the tears are not constant. I know Sadie is in a better place, where she can run and play as she did when she was young and healthy. And I know that her pain is now mine, which is okay because she deserves to be free. I had a weird sense of relief when she finally left, although I felt like I almost wasn't going to be able to stand it because it hurt so much.

I guess I just really needed to write about her and how I'm hurting so much. I am missing her already and know that this will not be an easy process. It's just so strange knowing that she won't be back here....that I cannot ever touch her again. Jake knows something is going on. I'm not sure if he's reacting to my emotions or if he realizes she's not coming back. He's been really quiet today and kind of sullen. Sadie was so bossy with him and he always competed for my attention. She told him when he could eat and even scolded if she thought he was bad. So, I'm not so sure he's really missing her.

Thank you for letting me tell my story. I feel better just writing this all down. I'd appreciate any helpful advice on how to get through this. I'm kind of concerned about going to work on Monday. I'm an elementary teacher and hate the thought of telling the kids. The love hearing dog stories....and I've been telling them for years. Sadie is known by a lot of kids. I know I cannot tell them right away...it's just too fresh.

I wish you all the best and hope that each day gives you less pain.

Carol

[Del]

Thank you, Beth. I decided to take the day off work today. I woke up early this morning and knew that I just couldn't do it. Yesterday I cleaned all day...with breaks in between to cry...and I needed another day of doing nothing. Actually I felt sick all day...I guess it can be compared to what people call "a hole in your heart". A teacher I work with wrote me an email to see where I was and I told her about Sadie. I also asked her if she could tell the other teachers so I didn't have to do that tomorrow. Another teacher, who also loves her dog, called me this evening to tell me how sorry she is and to see how I was doing.

I will take your advice about thinking about something funny about Sadie when I feel like crying. I think that will help. I've done that a couple of times today and it has helped to get past going into a crying spell. Actually, I've told people about how demanding and whiney Sadie could be and that brought out a chuckle, which got me away from the crying.

Sadie was always a very demanding dog. She was a princess and could be quite trying at times, along with her sweetness.

I truly appreciate everyone's responses. I hope I can help someone else who's going throught this.
Hugs,
Carol