Guilt About Euthenasia, Euthenasia not only due to illness Options

[bull83]

Max was almost 13 yrs old. He was a sweet, loving & protecting dog. We Euthenised him today. His health was failing. He would romp in the yard and come back limping. He was pretty thin/bony. His eyesight was weak. He got confused more and more in the last couple months. We have had several incidents in the last 2 yrs when my husband or I were a little unsure if he was going to snap at us or bite us. This saturday my husband walked him to the garage (he stays there for warmth when we leave), Max again got confused/scared, reason unknown, and he turned and bit twice on hubbys wrist. He broke free, ran to our vehicle where both babies under age 2 were strapped into their car seats and jumped in the front seats. When hubby attempted to retrieve him, Max jumped in the back and trampled the children. The kids are fine. We have never really had a true discussion on our fears of Max with he children. He was a great protector. I know he loved the children. He would always find them, checking on them when he entered the room. But he was an Animal and we were so afraid he would get confused or be startled and accidently injur one of our beautiful babies. I know surrendering him or adopting him out was not an option but, I am torn up inside. My mother took him to the Vet. She held him until the end and reassured us of how wonderfully peaceful the process was. WIll my guilt lessen? It's only been a couple hours. I feel like a zombie. This is my biggest loss. I've read a bunch about animals that were really really ill. Max was on his way but still had life left. My childrens safety comes first. WHen I think of them I calm a little but then I picture Max again and my stomach twists. It's 1 am, Max is usually next tp my bed, tonight is the first night I won't hear him dreaming. Please post if you have any thoughts. Not sure what type of ritual to do. I did not ask for his ashes. I read to put his tags on my keychain but it's too early for that. I'd be crying everywhere I went. Please help. I'm Missing Max.

[Ann H]

I am so sorry that you had to have Max put to sleep and am glad your mom was with him. Yes the safety of your children should always come first. My children are all grown but I do have 6 grandchildren and would never put them at risk for anything.

If Max would attack and hurt your husband then how much more would he hurt the babies were he to attack them. Please know you did the best you could for your whole family. I know that doesn't stop the guilt you must feel but stop and look at your precious children. And know that what you did was done to keep your wonderful precious children safe.
Ann