Lost My Leo Of 15 Years Options

[macgrl]

This just happened yesterday and my husband and I are just devastated, even though we knew his days were becoming numbered.

The past year he walked with a limp and we had him on cosquin for cats and that seemed to ease the arthritis in his hips. My daughter who was only six when he came home as a kitten noticed his decline when she last came to visit a week ago. He was much more frail, and not living with him day to day she noticed the difference between even Christmas and now.

Superbowl sunday he was his usual self, we ordered a family chicken dinner and was getting his usual expected share of chicken. Yesterday morning I gave him his usual can of soft food, then about a hour or two later he vomited it up, and by the looks of it the chicken from last night, undigested. He also had a dirrehea like drainage and was trying to pass a stool where he was laying but all he could do was just spasm in pain. Good god we tried to help, I got a warm washcloth to clean his hindquarters which clearly bothered him. I called the vet and made an appointment as soon as possible which would have been the next day. In the meanwhile Leo went to hide behind a desk and curl up, my daughter went to put him back by the towels in the bathroom and he had his mouth open for a moment in a pant. I had to call back and ask if I could bring him in immediately to put him down, so I got the car ready because it is frigid cold here in WI and my daughters brought him to the car. My husband could not bare to go with us because that was his baby.

I got half way and I was ready to turn the car around, but my daughter reminded me even though he was alert he was periodically spasming in pain. This was it. It hit us so fast we did not have time to brace ourselves. He calmly stayed still there for the vet when he got ready to get the shot and he went so peacefully. It was a mix of relief and grief for us, especially the girls I have at home who have grown up with him. After all was done the vet showed us his skin that had signs of liver failure. It is comforting to read the posts where everybody had their doubts and second guesses like I did. I am still going through the motions, I never had a pet for this long.

[Moose Mom]

macgrl

Oh your Leo was so handsome! I'm so sorry you lost him. It was a wonderful thing you did for him, helping him out of his pain, I know it was hard for you. This is a really great picture of him, having fun. I'm so sorry you lost him. It is hard to lose one you have had for such a long time, they become such a part of our family and memories.

When we lose someone close to us, our reality changes, things never 'go back to normal' we just learn to live in the new reality, without them. You and your daughters can help your husband, and you all can help each other grieve.

We lost our cat, Moustache three months ago. It was very sudden and unexpected, he died on the way to the vet. It's just such a shock, that takes a while to get over too.

Thinking of you, your family and Leo

[AlleysMama]

Oh Leo was so beautiful! I'm so sorry to hear about his passing.

You are right about many of us here, myself included, having doubts and second guessing ourselves about whether we did the right thing. It all comes down to one thing though, and that is to keep our babies from suffering any unnecessary pain. They don't understand why its happening and it is up to us to make that final loving choice for them.

Friday will be 2 months since I lost my Alley and I still cry at least once every day when I think about her. I miss her so much and its so hard to deal with the fact that she's never coming back.

We all understand what you're going through and we are here for you when you want to talk.

[Shortrish]

I am so sorry of your loss of Leo. He was truly a beautiful guy. There is somthing so soulfull in his eyes, in his picture. It is so hard to make that decision to end our pets suffering. No matter how we &%^yize it, we still have our doubts if we did the right thing. It is obvious that was the case with Leo. You loved him so much and he is so lucky to have had such a loving family to care for him. You were with him when he passed, and that was a comfort to him, I know. It will be hard, the pain and the tears, but they are a necessary part of healing, unfortunately.
We had to have our cat Scooter put to sleep because of kidney failure that he fought for 18 months. He was only six years old. The pain was unbearable and I thought the tears would never stop. It has been a long road, with all the stages of grief. It has been a little over 6 months now, and we miss our guy so much, and still have tears from time to time,
What helped was getting together all of his pictures and putting them in an album. That eventually helped us to remember the good and happy times, the funny things that he did.
For now, writing here will be a tremendous help. Everyone understands your pain. I can only say , cry if you want to, but do everything you can to care for yourself, get rest. You and your family are in my prayers.

Scooter's Mom

[radgirl]

My sincerest condolences, reading your post was heart wrenching........I know how you feeel..we lost our cat two months ago, who also got his own share of chicken, etc.

Yes, it is very common for the first weeks to second guess this very loving decision. Both my hubby and I went through the same thing, him more so than me. IT's common to think would they have perked up, etc. We kept thinking maybe we acted to quickly, etc.

But in time these feelings fade and you'll know you did the best thing for Leo........ending his pain was the best thing you could do. We had the option of taking him home one more night, but the thought him in pain on his blanket not eating anything would have been too much to bear.

I am so sorry for your loss....it sounds like you were great parents and siblings to Leo. I can't imagine what your family is going through today. Please know that we here understand and definitely are sending good thoughts your way.......

Misty's Mama

[LS Support]

that photo rocks, sorry to hear about Leo

[Furkidlets' Mom]

macgrl,

I'm so sorry about poor Leo, and for your whole family. Who is ever ready to have to make such quick and difficult decisions when it comes to a loved one? But given the probable liver failure as was shown to you by the vet, what else could you have done, reasonably and lovingly?

You mention just "going through the motions" and this is not only a part of grief, but of shock, too. And that it is - a total shock to suddenly have your world turned inside out and have to try and deal with it w/o the presence of one you loved so well and for so long in your life. While I've not had quite as sudden and unexpected a loss as this, I've still suffered from shock, and for an extended period of time this last time, in the passing of our Nissa-girl. It's another component of grief that just has to be gone through. Same for the relief mixed in with the grief, which can actually bring a bit of comfort to the pain.

Leo is a really beautiful boy (and yes, that pic DOES rock), who knows and appreciates that you were with him for his final moments here. Sending sincere condolences your way.

[missingbailey]

i am so sorry for the pain of your loss. you were brave and did the right thing for this cat who trusted you to make the right decisions. the picture is beautiful. your memories are beautiful...just clouded by grief now. tincture of time is what we need....

[Furry's mum]

Your Dear Beautiful Leo,
What a fabulous photo, how lovely he is. He was happy & enjoying life so soon before the end. My Furry had most of her life with ill health. 15 years Leo - no matter how long it is never enough.
Thinking of you in your grief, you are not alone.
Judith

[macgrl]

Thanks everyone for the support, I just got up from a short nap and there were so many thoughtful replies. Each one of everyone's furry kids are all so unique and the pain is so universal. That picture I included was taken by my son while I had leo outside and he loved to be by me when I was doing my gardening. The garden foliage was his own jungle he had in his own yard. I still have my Sugar girl cat and Katie border collie girl to be with me this spring outside, it is comforting to have them around right now. Been giving Kate plenty of love and attention, poor dog has seen so much misery in the past day and it has got her down too. I guess it just does take some time, and tomorrow will be hard because I have to go back to work

[Furkidlets' Mom]

I have almost 20 years of memories of me and my kidlets, Nissa and Sabin, in the 2 gardens (2 houses) I designed with both them and me in mind. I created a jungle for them, too, with plenty of places suited to feline delights. I'm dreading this spring and summer, as I'll be all alone out there, for the first time since I really had a (grown) garden space. It's so alien a concept to NOT have cats completing the homey spaces out there, I don't think I'll be able to tend the plants much at all. For me, our yard is my kids' yard even more than mine, especially Nissa's. Here's one of each of them in some fav*ourite spot. (don't know how to post more than one in each post, or even if it's possible w/o photobucket, so will have to do two separate posts) This first one is of Sabin, in the irises. (we have a lot of ferns, too, now overgrowing these irises)

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[Furkidlets' Mom]

And here's one of Nissa having a drink at one of her many 'watering holes'.

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[AlleysMama]

Fk's mom

Just wanted to say what beautiful pictures! Sabin sure has that whole "king of the jungle" look doesn't he? And what cat doesn't love a birdbath! Alley spent a lot of time outdoors but you know I don't think I have one single picture of her outside. She didn't like to be bothered when she was out and about, surveying her domain

I'm sure your other cat and your dog Kate are grieving too. They may not know why Leo left, but they know they miss him too, so giving them extra attention right now will help them and you!

[macgrl]

Beautiful photos, that is total heaven for them. Nissa and Sabin were very fortunate to be with you and the beautiful garden you made for them. I know by looking at photos of leo outside I can imagine the warmth of the summer for him and I am trying to keep those images in mind to block out the horrible ones from yesterday.

[macgrl]

Fk's mom

Just wanted to say what beautiful pictures! Sabin sure has that whole "king of the jungle" look doesn't he? And what cat doesn't love a birdbath! Alley spent a lot of time outdoors but you know I don't think I have one single picture of her outside. She didn't like to be bothered when she was out and about, surveying her domain

I'm sure your other cat and your dog Kate are grieving too. They may not know why Leo left, but they know they miss him too, so giving them extra attention right now will help them and you!

They really do help, I am trying not to cry around them to upset them. Kate has been keeping very close to me today, always right there. My kids are coping better than what I would have thought but my husband is taking this extremely hard.

[Furkidlets' Mom]

macgrl,

Your husband is more than welcome to come here, too, if he'd like to, even if just to read others' posts. We have a number of grieving dads here as well who are very helpful and understanding, and who love their furkids just as much as we moms do.

I think your other furries will sense your tears, whether shed inwardly or outwardly. Nissa kissed me even during my uncontrollable sobbing when Sabin crossed (she was adamant in her efforts, bless her loving heart!), and even when I was on the phone prior to that, with one vet or another when we were still trying to save him, just by sensing my anguish over these phone discussions. So if you need to cry, I'm sure they'll accomodate that, too....and maybe you'll even get some kisses to help you. But if you also need this measure of control to use as tiny breaks from the sorrow, that's all good, too....whatever works at any given time.

I had one dream visitation from Nissa so far, where she was again healthy and perky-looking, as in her prime, and I try to hang onto that image as well, as best I can, to "block out" the other ones, as you said. It does help, although it's often a challenge yet for me to recall those better years. It'll take time.

Paula,

Nissa was always more comfortable around a camera than Sabin, who was a bit more like Alley, like, Hey! I'm TRYING to have a nice sit here! Go away with that "C" thing!

[Macguy]

Hi Everyone,


I,m Leo's Dad. I just had to write and tell all of you how this board has helped! Im not second guessing what we did for leo that last day. I grew up on a small farm and have seen this many times before. That doesnt make it any easier. Just that I've seen it before and knew what my leo was going threw. And I promised him, he would not suffer if I could help it. It was still the hardest thing I've ever done! He was my special buddy! But he didnt suffer. At least too long. I know everyone thinks their pet is special and to them they are. But my Leo was a once in a lifetime cat! And he WILL BE DEEPLY MISSED. Yes I will get another cat. I will never have a bond with any other cat like my leo. Ive had plenty of cats over my life and I have loved everyone of them. But Leo was one of those SPEICAL animals. I could hold a conversation with him. He would allways answer me. And followed me around every where even outside. Where ever I was he was there too!. I could even call him and he'd come running up to me just like a dog. Well I guess that's enough of my ramblings.
Thank you guys! Good bye LEO!

[Moose Mom]

Macguy

I know I said this to your wife but I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm very glad you have been able to come here too. Your Leo was so beautiful and he sounds so special.

We lost our Moose kitty three months ago. He was his daddys very special boy. My hubby called him 'my best little buddy'. People sometimes think it's odd that a man can love a cat, but I have seen how beautiful that love is. When a man and a cat get that 'special bond' it's amazing. I'm so very sorry you lost him.

Like you said, you will love a cat again, maybe already do, but it's never the same, and you just miss them so much.

I'm glad you guys have other fur kids to love, it helps.

Thinking of you and your Leo

[Moose Mom]

Nissa's Mommy

Great pics of your kids! Beautiful as always.

We too are dreading the spring, everything outside reminds us of Moose. We were just talking and crying about it last night.

Love

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Leo's Dad,

I'm so glad to see you've come to unburden yourself, too. Leo would want you to do whatever you need to do for yourself to cope with his loss. His love for you was/is so strong, as yours for him was, and still is.

He sounds like such a wonderful, and yes, "special" little guy. The ones who have wild convo's with us really stick to our hearts like glue, because it seems to me that they're doing their best to meet us humans half-way within the bonds of communication. And besides, it's just plain FUN and heartwarming to be able to talk with them, both ways.

Share all you like here, and we'll always listen. I'm glad you've been helped so far by this board. It's a very special place, for very special people and their wonderful furkids.