Hello all.. I am new and I really wish i didnt need this place as much as i do now..

My name is Chayla, my display name is my cat ,Tigerlily

yesterday my sweet baby cat Tigerlily was put to sleep..we got her when she was about 2 and had had her for 16 years . i was 5 years old when she came into my my life.. so tigerlily is all ive ever known in my life, i never had any other pets..



she was cute and amazing, and so smart, we were always together and i depended on her like i think she depended on me.. in highschool i stopped making friends and never had a boyfriend but i always had her.she was a big part of my world and i didnt really know anyone who considered their pet to be their best friend or their child like i did. i looked after her solely and planned to take her with me when i left home.
i left for college 2 years ago but couldnt afford a place that would allow pets so she stayed at my mums house and i visited her every fortnight or so whilst at college.





I was looking for a place (im in my last week of college) for us both when she suddenly fell ill, she got worse and worse over the weekend and we decided to put her to sleep. the vets suspected lymphoma blocking her intestines and told us that attempting to treat it would only be buying her time in the end..

i felt lost and alone, she was my baby!! i was going to take her with me ad we were going to be together till the end!! if only she could have stayed for another month we would have been together...
oH! i feel so guilty!! i went to college for two years and i left her at her most vulnerable!! she had never been so sick whilst under my care, while i still lived at home... i feel like i let her down, like i only showed up to put her to sleep !!!


i need her so much.. i need her now so much.. she was my priority at the end of this year and living together was going to be so nice.. just like the old days but i failed her..

we buried her at a local pet cemetery ... i didnt want to.. i didnt want to do any of it. i wanted to make her better. i cant understand how she went downhill so quickly.. i mean.. within a week..
she lived 18 years which i tried my best to make perfect for her.. but i just feel so empty now..

i researched about the illness lymphoma and stories about other cats who went through chemo and other long and strenuous treatments and how a lot became better and i just feel worse... should i have pushed harder for the vets to do something??? i guess i was afraid... she hadnt eaten properly , she was weak and could hardly walk... i guess i was also afraid of having to turn down surgery due to the cost (chemo can run into the thousands) I FEEL SO SELFISH!!! i felt she was going to live long into her 20s .. then the sickness came..
im a terrible mom!!

oh tigerlily... please forgive me... i tried my best for you, i followed the vets advice, thinking it was best.. id never seen you so sick looking.. i wanted you to be at peace.. I love you so much ,tigerlily!!

I need to know i didnt make a bad choice... that i didnt give up on my baby.. i left her for 2 years to go to college.. i feel guilty and awful...

Hi, Chayla, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Tigerlily. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Chayla, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

Guilt / remorse is one of the hardest grief emotions to cope with because it comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the things that didn't quite make sense at the time they were happening, which consumes our hearts and minds with doubts and all the "whys" "what ifs" and "if onlys" that haunt and torment us when we are so emotionally vulnerable with deep grief. From what you share with us, Chayla, it is very clear that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Tigerlily a happy and healthy earthly journey.

My number one kitty son Eli was diagnosed with end stage Lymphoma when he was 6 years old. He was diagnosed in September 2006. Under the encouragement of his treating veterinary care provider at the time he underwent 6 weeks of chemotherapy after extensive surgery that included the removal of one of his kidneys that was fully enveloped with cancer in the hopes that it would provide him a better quality of life. In his case the chemo treatments did not help him, and in December 2006 I had no choice but to lovingly release him from his frail, failing, painful physical body under the supervision of his doctor. Although the internet offers information that is helpful in making treatment decisions, there are many factors involved in making treatment decisions for both ourselves as well as our precious companions. I am not a veterinarian but from first hand experience and from what you share with us, I sincerely believe with all my heart that you made the RIGHT decision to ease your beloved Tigerlily's transition home to the angels without subjecting her to invasive medical procedures. Based on what happened with my beloved Eli, when my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle developed end stage Fibrosarcoma when she was 6 years old the only procedure she underwent was basic surgery to remove as much of the tumors as possible. When it became obvious that the results of the surgery was not successful, I did my best to keep her as comfortable and happy as possible, and when she began to show pain she was lovingly released from her physical body under the supervision of her compassionate veterinary care provider. I hope in time you will be able to find comfort in your heart that your beloved Tigerlily is very grateful to you for putting her needs first even though your heart is breaking with the deepest sorrow you will know on this side of eternity.

We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. We are taught to believe that what isn't a part of the physical world doesn't exist. But this is not true, for there is a dimension that is stronger than the physical realm, and that is the dimension of love. Chayla, love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Tigerlily's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I do know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Tigerlily with us, Chayla, and these adorable pictures of her. There is no doubt in looking at her that she knows she is eternally loved. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Chayla, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

im grateful this board is here for me to talk about tigerlily, i knew before that it would be best to talk in a place where people would take the time to listen and understand my situation. i dont want to worry people in my day to day life with my feelings.

Thankyou moon beam for the kind words... and thankyou for sharing your experience with your pets!! its good to hear from someone who has had a similar experience with an advanced illness like this... your pets sounded as though they fought very hard as im sure tigerlily did. cats are no pushovers!


I had visited the vets multiple times this year (the latest 2 weeks ago before the final day) and they deemed her to be healthy and well despite her advanced age... it came as too big a shock for her diagnosis to go from "shes good! shes healthy! she will be fine for the next few years" to "please come to a decision about whether or not youd like to put her to sleep.." all within a fortnight...

sadly, standard bloodtest couldnt detect anything abnormal so her lymphoma went undiscovered until it was too late and hurting her...

since she lived at my mums house in her last days, i feel a slight disconnect. i dont have her bed or her favorite sleeping spots around me... it makes me even sadder because i cant smell her or look at her fur. but i sometimes see her.. a pile of black and white clothes looks like a sleeping tigerlily to me..

im trying to focus on her best days, the days she made me smile and laugh .. she was so good, never got into fights, never ran far away,never shy'd away from strangers, never got ill during her life.. i try to think of the little things that made her so cute too, like the little spot on her paw , i really like that

and the black smudge on one half of her mouth


i cant believe it only happend yesterday... the hours since then have been agonizingly long.. i cant concentrate on anything else for long before my chest hurts and i need to sit and think of her..

Here i am again, just writing a few of my thoughts down here..

in my life ive had a lot of changes, moving house nearly every 2 years, having a couple of stepfathers, being in a family that doesnt get along ..
one of few things that never changed was tigerlily. she was a constant. i think when you're young, life's positive constants are very important and significant.
tigerlily never changed her mind about me , despite the fact that changes such as a changing family dynamic and moving house frequently ,also were changes for her too! she always kept a cool attitude .. i think that helped me out a lot. she was my rock i guess you could say..

so what do you do when your constant changes?? not just 'changes' but leaves entirely? I think this is what makes this grieving process all the more harder...

the last of my family is moving overseas next year, i was going to have tigerlily with me. i was scared of being alone with my family moving overseas.. now tigerlily has left.. i wont have my family close either... the sadness is quite tiring..

did she pass as if to say i didnt need her support anymore? did fate time this event this way on purpose??

"no parent should have to bury their child" is what they say.. though in most cases, this is what pet owners must do isn't it? i for one would rather bury my beloved pet-child than have me myself pass before her.. i would be afraid of her being alone or confused without me... is this strange?

Dear Tigerlily.

So very sorry for your loss. We all know and understand how you are feeling.

When you said that no parent should have to bury their child, but that you'd rather they die before you did because you couldn't bear for them to live a life without you - I can totally relate to this. I've lost many pets over the years and each and every one hurt. My greatest fear is that Izzy, Barney and Casey will have to live without me. My wish is that they all stay together, having them split up would be a nightmare. I've watched a pet mourn the loss of her sister and it is horrible. And I can't imagine what they would go through if they lost me. I know they'd probably move on, but just the thought of them missing me just breaks my heart.

Anyway, losing a pet at any age is very, very difficult. And having to put them down is hard. Then there's the guilt. The "I should've waited", "did I do the right thing", "Will they forgive me for this?". I've been there. And I'd be lying if I said it doesn't still haunt me all these years later. But at the time I honestly felt it was the right thing. We had to put Hunny to sleep because her cancer had spread. And I knew Hunny would never forgive me if I let her get so sick that she couldn't move, or eat, or go to the bathroom. Hunny had a lot of pride and I wanted her to die with dignity. And I knew how much she missed her sister Lily. I knew she didn't want to leave us either, but the cancer was spreading and it was only a matter of time before it hit her brain. It was in her lungs already. She's been gone five years now and Lily six years. I am crying as I write this. And then we lost George a year ago. It hurts so much to love an animal doesn't it? But the joy they bring each and every day - even if it is only for a short time - is worth every moment. I could never live without a dog.

Please don't feel guilty that you were living away from Tigerlily. She knew (knows) you love her. They understand that their "kids" have to move on and live their own lives.

Please take care.

Lynette.

Hi, Chayla, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Like our forum friend Lynette, I also can relate to your feelings as you share with us: ""no parent should have to bury their child" is what they say.. though in most cases, this is what pet owners must do isn't it? i for one would rather bury my beloved pet-child than have me myself pass before her.. i would be afraid of her being alone or confused without me... is this strange?" Please let me try to reassure you that this is NOT strange at all. My precious companion Noah is my sole survivor in a household that used to have four companions - - including Noah. He is 11 years old now, and at my age and with limited retirement funds my precious Noah will be my last precious companion during my earthly journey. Like you, and Lynette, I would not want my companion to "survive" me for although I have provisions in my Will for the ongoing care of any surviving companion, there are family members who I know would try to challenge the provision for their own financial benefit.

Chalya, speaking from first hand experience please let me try to comfort you in that there is no "good time" for us to be physically separated from our companions. Like your beloved Tigerlily, blood tests did not detect the cancers of my beloved Eli and Abbygayle, so I can definitely relate to your shock about the heartbreaking diagnosis of your beloved Tigerlily. There is no way to "prepare" ourselves for this "reality" for we are never prepared to be physically separated from our companions. I hope in time you will know that your beloved Tigerlily's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will even though she is no longer physically with you.

You are now on a journey of discovering a "new normal" in your life that no longer includes the physical presence of your beloved Tigerlily, and this is a very painful adjustment both emotionally and physically. Unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process of this grief adjustment journey or make it automatically disappear. Among many things you need to remember is that you are among friends here who truly understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you again so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Tigerlily with us, Chayla. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tigerlily's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Chayla, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I can totally relate to how you are feeling. A few weeks ago I had my 14 yo dog at the vet because she was breathing a bit heavy but eating well and coming on walks and the vet wasnt concerned and gave her some medication to ease her breathing. 4 days later I was euthanaising her with a cancer that was too advanced and treatment would have just bought further suffering and separation from me for an old dog.

I also had hoped to have for a few more years. Like with your Tigerlily, my Holly was my world, the most wonderful animal ever with a magical bond between us.

I have also tortured myself with what ifs and maybe I should have seen something earlier, maybe I didnt pay as much attention as I should, maybe I should have loved her even more. It is horrible those early days after losing them.

Trouble is because of their lifespan we know in most cases we are going to lose our beloved companions before ourselves. In a way I would prefer that. My biggest nightmare is if I die first and leave them vulnerable. I have made provisions but you never really know what will happen. No one loves and understands our own personal animals like we do, perhaps close family if you are lucky.

I dont know how to make the pain and go away because like you I am currently overwhelmed by it. I guess we just have to go through the process and work it all through. I talk to my Holly and tell her I love her, I cry and I sometimes think how can I live without her in my life. I look at where she slept all the time and there is just a huge hole in the part of my life she occupied.

Like you I obsessed on researching the cancer on the internet to try and understand if I made the right choice, it is no fun at all.

I cant give you answers except that I know how you feeling about your beautiful Tigerlily.

Hello, chayla again,

im taking another day off... i cant afford to take anymore off though ..im falling behind on my work.. but the dark fog of grief is very very thick and over shadows all other important things going on it seems..

thankyou lynette for the reply!!
and yes! being your pet's final caregiver is both a blessing and a curse i feel too!!
I am sorry about Hunny's circumstances and i feel I understand the feeling of 'am i making this choice too soon??'
because in end , who would it suit?? i couldnt ask tigerlily whether her pain was bearable enough to stick around just to be with me and the other humans who love her.. it falls to her parent to make that choice.. your lily and george sound like lovely pets too, i can only imagine that you never regretted and still dont regret having had them in your life. i certainly dont regret tigerlily.

isnt it hard being human?? having all this love for our pet that comes with sadness amplified by that love..
i guess its good being human too, we have enough empathy and understanding to ease our pets pain when we sense its becoming too much for them..



Thankyou again Moon beam also!!

I am feeling still quite 'bogged down' by sadness , but im trying my best. this is my first experience with death so these feelings are new and overwhelming for me to say the least.
a great fear whilst having tigerlily was 'what if she needed to be rehomed!? no one can take care of my child better than i can!' im relieved it never came to that, i wanted to see it through to the end of her time here, and i think she in turn, gave me so much love and happiness for that choice.. i think having her stay in my care till the end keeps her spirit close to me..

someday i hope that vet medicine (as good as it is) will further improve so that illness's such as cancer could be detected earlier , like with humans...im sure it will advance this way some day

and oh how i wish there was a fast forward.. its been i guess, two days since? but it feels like eternity.. hours seem like days.. im sure time will begin to pick up again

hello again,

I notice that this thread is getting a lot of hits/views so i want to say to anyone reading, if they are grieving like me ,

to stay strong! i also find it helps to just browse the threads and read about peoples feelings towards their pets..
some people say they cant bear to look at another pet or see someone with their pet because it hurts... but for me personally, it almost warms my heart to see people loving their animals because it reminds me of when me and tigerlily were together.. i like to look at her photos and think of good times. (i sat for a whole hour just trying to remember every thing and every highlight moment in her life.. im a weirdo i guess.. but it made me smile!)

its also comforting to hear from people who are feeling the strong emotions that come with this type of loss..

so if youre just lurking and gathering up your feelings by finding peace reading about similar struggles , please know that youre not alone!!

my first thought was that their werent many people coming in and sharing but seeing the hits i think theres more people relating to these feelings than i know.

my love goes out to you all , no matter what your circumstances are right now.

Morning Tigerlily.

Hope today finds you feeling just a little better than yesterday. I know how hard it is to move on once you lose your best friend, your child. When I first found this site I would visit it all the time. I found great comfort in the comfort and advice from everyone who read my posts. But, truth be told, I find it hard to come here much these days. I come now and then to leave messages for my angels. I read some of the new posts, but I find it so very hard to read them. Maybe because I have started to heal and reading them just opens up old wounds. I feel for each and every one who writes on here. And I wish them nothing but happiness and healing. I get upset with stories of abuse and neglect. I "like" a whole bunch of rescue centres on my Facebook and there are a lot of horrible things that happen to these poor animals. I wish I could take them all. Your Tigerlily had a wonderful home and she lived a good life. She is so very proud of you.

Anyway take care. This is a wonderful site and there are many, many wonderful people here who will be there for you. I wish you well.

Lynette.

Hi, Chayla, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "I am feeling still quite 'bogged down' by sadness . . . its been i guess, two days since? but it feels like eternity.. hours seem like days.. the dark fog of grief is very very thick and over shadows all other important things going on it seems.."

Chayla, this grief journey is both physically and emotionally debilitating, and the stress of grief can actually compromise the immune system, so it is important that you do the things you need to do to endure through it.

It doesn't matter if this grief journey is your first experience or your thousandth - - the deep grief is painful regardless of how many "prior" experiences one has had. Each grief journey is uniquely individual because each relationship we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual. Although clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, unfortunately, our society in general, and sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally, does not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where each of us can come to share what is in our hearts with others who truly and genuinely understand what we are going through without the fear of judgment or reprimand. Please know we are here for you, Chayla, for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Chayla, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tigerlily's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

hello again,
thankyou again lynette and moon beam for the replies! I hope youre both doing well today. i like to read over your replies and good advice becuase i feel i relate to what you went through as well in a way

Ive been tempted to look up the SPCA but i know il feel bad about not being able to adopt anyone just yet.. its much too soon for me .. my Tigerlily was a rescue cat , had we not had taken her, her previous owners were threatening to put her to sleep .. for nothing!! how awful! ... it makes me think: "could there be a pet out there who needs me to save them like that?!" ughh..
im grieving still and finding it hard to concentrate on 'real life'

im trying to 'get my life back' in a way. yesterday i went back to college to finish up some work, but that was only because i had to. otherwise i would have cooped myself up indoors some more. i used to exercise everyday. ive stopped for now.. i feel weighted down and it makes me guilty...

today i visited Tigerlily's grave with my partner, we gathered some flowers (even some tigerlily flowers!) ,some shells and my partner bought some incense. i arranged the flowers and shells around her plaque and we lit the incense and prayed for tigerlily . i can only hope my thoughts reached her!! my incense was burning slower than my partners and i think thats because it had a lot of thoughts to send to her haha. that made me feel a lot better i think..

Hi, Chayla, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "im trying to 'get my life back' in a way. yesterday i went back to college to finish up some work, but that was only because i had to. otherwise i would have cooped myself up indoors some more. i used to exercise everyday. ive stopped for now.. i feel weighted down and it makes me guilty... " This grieving process is physical as well as emotional, so it is very normal to not have the same, if any, interest in what used to be your "normal" world - - because, for one very important reason - - your world is now no longer what it used to be because your beloved Tigerlily is no longer physically with you. This grief journey is not one of "getting over" this radical "reality" but is rather one of "adjusting" to it. There will be some better days, there will be some not so good days, and there will be days when you may feel like your heart is literally breaking under the burden of your sorrow. This is why it is very important for you to keep the stress levels as low as possible until you feel strong enough to handle things again.

As for embracing a new companion - - please believe me when I share with you from first hand experience that you will "know" when the time is "right". There is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Tigerlily is already directing your path to the precious little soul who will one day enter your heart to be loved by you during his / her earthly journey. This will in no way diminish the eternal love you and your beloved Tigerlily share but rather will be an extension of it.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Chayla, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tigerlily's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi everyone, I am missing my cat Cuddles he died two years ago and it was tragic and I can not talk about it still.
He was had a wonderful life and then I got into a bad relationship and left my home because I was stupid and this
man took everything but Cuddles stayed with me no matter what. He saved me many times like I saved him
many times. I have had other animals but he was very special and I think that maybe God will give him
back to me when I am ready. I am very solitary person especially now since I went through this abuse. I haven't
been able to talk to about with anyone. I am out of harms way and I know that Cuddles got me out of there.
I believe that our pets are truly angels in disguise and I will always be so thankful that I had him for 13 years.
I remember the good times now and forget the bad he wants that. Sometimes I still feel him with me.

Thanks for being here and understanding my unique pain.

thanks to everyone messaging in!

to justme7, i understand when you talk about how your cat was always there for you and that they saved you!! tigerlily saved me as well because i didnt have many friends but i always had her. she would always love me no matter how i changed and i love her too..

just writing in to say how im getting on....
its been just over a week since tigerlily passed.. its gotten a bit harder.ive had financial issues dropped on me so that plus the grief has made things sort of snowball.. im stressed and starting to get depressed.. we'l see how things go. i really just want some calm in life

Hi, Chayla, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief as you share with us: "its been just over a week since tigerlily passed.. its gotten a bit harder.ive had financial issues dropped on me so that plus the grief has made things sort of snowball.. im stressed and starting to get depressed."

When we experience a traumatic event - - and clinical professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is a traumatic event - - our minds and bodies literally go into "survival" mode. This literally protects us from surrendering to the onslaught of many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time. During the deepest grief we can sometimes feel like we are literally losing our minds. Without the automatic "survival" mode we would find the grief adjustment journey significantly harder to endure. As the "survival" mode eases, we can find ourselves experiencing different levels of overwhelming emotions to cope with - - until one day we begin to notice that we are once again feeling stronger and less overwhelmed.

I know from first hand experience from a traumatic event of a different nature several years ago how "depression" can be disruptive. Thankfully I finally found a compassionate professional counselor who was able to help me begin the process of rebuilding my life. "Depression" is one of the many emotions we can experience during the deep grief. This is a clinical symptom to the stress of grieving. If you feel the need please do not hesitate to talk to your doctor about this, as grieving can cause a temporary change in the chemical balance in the brain which is the medical reason for depression.

Chayla, I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tigerlily's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Chayla,

Forgive me for reading your posting so late, but I know that when it has to do with losing our beloved baby companion, best friend etc its really hard for us to feel better. I can totally understand how you are feeling because its been 7 months since I lost my princess she was also a cat but she was still a baby she was (4 months). She was my whole world to me but what hurts me is that we didn't get to spend a lot of time together because the first time my princess came into my life was so special. I think God gave me the opportunity to save her and give her the opportunity to life a bit more longer after she was being attacked by my neighbors big Dog. She was always getting killed and thank God I saved her its like she wanted me in her life because when she immediately saw me she started licking my hands like saying to me please help me. After I save her she became so much part of my life but now i'm so sad depress and not sure what other emotions I feel now because my baby was killed due to a car hitting her how awful. Sorry if i'm writing a lot about me but I just had to tell someone or I think I will explose from the inside. RIght now as i'm reading your story seeing that you had more wonderful moments with your kitty hurts me because I wish I could of had the same opportunity with mine but unfortunately I didn't. I'm so sorry for your loss of your cat I understand how much it hurts and it hurts even more when you had all those wonderful moments with them that you know are not coming back. but eventhought they are not you can always treasure them and at some point when you start to feel a bit better you are going to be smiling and thinking of those wonderful moments you had with them. You can't believe how it hurts me viewing a lot of you losing your babies due to a terrible illness.

I wish i was able to have some magical powers to erase everyone pain and be able to cure all of these poor babies they really don't deserve to lose their beautiful life this way. To me these beautiful animals are the most beautiful creations that God gave us and I just wished that they were able to stay longer with us but unfortunately they leave us so soon. I'm so very sorry for everyone's losses and I just understand what everyone is going through right now. i know that with my words is not going to help you but at least we are able to support one another in this diffulty situation we are also going through. let me tell you that you will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers and hope that God will give you the stregnth and peace you need for your hurt heart. Much love and blessings to you and your beautiful baby I wish I was able to see pictures sometime soon stay well and take care.

~ Mayra ( Princess mommy 4ever)

thankyou very much , princess' mommy! dont worry about it being a late message ! im sorry about your loss as well, for me too, the weeks are turning into months and i dont miss my baby any less...

i havnt been on the forum lately, ive had a lot of real-world issues creep up but im finally checking in to write on how things are going.
today i am going to visit my tigerlily's grave. shes buried at a pet cemetery, a garden out in the country. its very nice and me and my partner take incense there, to burn and send a message to her.. i always end up crying! haha..

does anyone have dreams of their lost ones???? ive been having a few lately . my partner says they mean tigerlily is talking to me.. id love that to be true.. i dream about hugging her and saving her from places. last night ii dreamed i went to prison and i snuck her in!

so strange...