[FONT=Arial][COLOR=purple]My dog Muddy was always a fussy eater. She was an almost 13 year old mixed breed(some chow, some afghan hound, some golden retriever)who kept getting thinner and thinner and was not eating much one day and gobbling down a lot another. When I came down with the flu I noticed that she wasn't herself and was having a hard time keeping her back legs up so she could stand and walk. We took her to the vet last monday and he gave her antibiotics and told us if she didn't eat call him friday. She ate one day, Wednesday...her absolute favorite...a can of tuna. Nothing after that. Thursday my boyfriend was having to carry her in and out of the house into the yard. We were up most of thursday night crying, knowing that the end was near.
Friday morning Rob walked her down a few houses and I saw her tail wag, just a little, for the last time...she was so happy to be sniffing and getting the neighborhood news. Then he put her on my lap and we drove through her favorite park. She noticed the dogs and squirrels and when we drove past my mom's apartment building she noticed that too. The end was so peaceful but Rob and I have been overwhelmed by the grief. We improve a little day by day but I find myself noticing "milestones" now...I did laundry last night and kept thinking all of these clothes I wore when Muddy was still alive. I hadn't left the house since we came back without her on friday so getting back from the laundromat was the first time I arrived home without Muddy being there. We have 2 other dogs and their presence helps but it also reminds us of the hole in our lives since Muddy has passed on. When I got home Bucky just cried and rubbed his face in my lap like he did when we came home friday.
Muddy had so much personality and was such a pretty dog. I hadn't realized how much I shaped my life around her and sometimes the hole is unbearable. She really was a little star and it seems so quiet now. Bedtime is the worst for me...she rarely slept with me at night but she was always waiting to get into my room and get into her little spot at the foot of my bed. On sick days and weekend naps she was right in bed next to me. This is my first day back to work and I'm doing well but I'm kind of dreading going home...when I am home I keep wanting to call her...not seeing her after work might be difficult.

Thank you all for reading my precious Muddy's story. I noticed another person was having her dog cremated. I'm doing the same with Muddy and I can't wait to get her ashes back. I never thought I would feel that way but I find it a comfort to think about her being back with us. I didn't worry about the cremation process...I just kept seeing her limp and skinny on the exam table after the shot. It turns out she had stomach cancer. I keep wanting to pet my poor baby. I agree that we do find one thing to concentrate on and that makes us crazy. It was good to read that. Peaceful thoughts and blessings to all of you out there. Annie

Oh Annie, I am SO, SO sorry that you and your boyfriend are experiencing this pain and grief. Muddy sounds like she was the light of your life! I am just still amazed at how many furbabies are taken by cancer. If they could only find a cure!!!!

You have come to a wonderful place for support. These people are so caring and giving. I would NEVER have made it through my worst days without them.

You are suffering, but it sounds like you are both dealing with it and still getting on with your life. Everyone is different. After I lost my Rachael (on a Saturday) I returned to work that Monday. I just felt that staying home and knowing she was gone would have been too much for me.

My thoughts are with you!
Cheri

Sorry to hear about your dog Muddy my little Peke Su_ling, died New Years Eve as well. She began having seizures the week before but before I could get her to the vet she died. I buried her today. She was the sweetest dog you could ver ask for. Like Muddy she never did sleep with me but as soon as I woke up in the morning she was there tail wagging and waiting. I still look at the spot where her bed was and expect to see her at times. I guess it will just take time for the hurt to leave.

Thank you CheriAnn and Nansober. I didn't want to stay home today...I was home for 3 days and it is good to get out. Nansober I'm so sorry for your little Peke Su Ling...from what I've been reading it seems like all we can do is muddle through and be kind to ourselves. Take care and my thoughts are with you! Annie

Annie,
I'm soo sorry to hear about your dog... Sounds like you took such wonderful care of her that last week and saying goodbye and making sure she had a peaceful ending. I am very sad because my 9 year old dog Dutchess has been diagnosed with stumach cancer. Right now she's able to keep her food down by taking anti nausea meds before she eats but I am dreading this awful illness progression. This site is helping me... It is a roller coaster though..sometimes I feel like I'm at peace with nature taking it's course and then later I feel sad and depressed again. (((hugs)) to you and I wish you peace during the healing process. Terri

Annie,
I am sooo sorry to hear of Muddy's passing. What a name and I bet it fit your baby to the tee. This site can help you throught those rough times as it has helped me. I don't come everyday just when I need it. My Indy did the same thing until we moved to a 2-story home then he slept on the landing and I still to this day sometimes stare at it as if he was there sleeping. Now I have a golden that just cant wait to sleep next to my bed and greet me when I wake up. Your other furbabies know and will comfort you during this hard time. Please know that you gave Muddy the greatest gift of all and she is looking down on you smiling and waiting for you.
All my best, ChrissyW

Dear Annie and Rob,

So sorry about the loss of your precious, Muddy.

Thinking of you.

Lynn

I have only been on this site for a few days. I lost my baby on December 21st.
It helps to come here. Who knows anything about any of us really? But the
one thing we share is our love, and our grief. It is nice to be in the company
of people who understand what you are going through.

Annie and Nansober, I'm so sorry for your loss. My baby died on New Year's Eve, too. I, too, have been here only a few days, but the outpouring of support has been very comforting.

As an aside, I find the mornings especially tough, too, Nansober. Butchie used to sit next to my bed and stare at me until I woke up.

Dear Annie,

I'm so sorry about your loss of Muddy. She sounds like she was a wonderful companion.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

I am sorry to hear about your Muddy. It is so sad when we lose our companions, it has been hard. Pamela

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Muddy. Your saying that you saw the last wagging of her tail made the tears fall for me for once again. I lost my baby girl the day after Christmas and the pain is just so great. Please come and talk to us often about you baby. We all need each other here.
Ann