Sweet Christmas postcard from Finland, artist: Minna Immonen.

Hi, Jan, thank you so o much for sharing the wonderful postcard with us. What a sweet card for you to keep with your precious Chan's mementos.

It is important for you to do whatever you feel best to help you in your grief journey - - both for your physical and emotional health. I know what you mean about it being hard to feel like a part of life when your heart is grieving the physical absence of a very important part of you. It never ceases to amaze me how life goes on - - doesn't miss a beat. Decisions have to be made, bills have to be paid, chores need to be done, errands need to be run, jobs need to be done - - but it's as if we're on what I call "automatic pilot."

I hope Zouzou and Tedly are doing well these days. I know you are keeping loving watch over them. Please know you and your fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, Jan, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you, again, Moonbeam for your generous blessings and good wishes. I can see that you easily give your heart to caring for others and this is, no doubt, what makes you such a wonderful loving pet Mom. Many creatures have benefited from your fostering and nurturing and many humans have been comforted by your warm words and shared expressions of loss.

I have been pushing away my deep hurt at losing Chan, I just don't think I can fully process it right now, not after having had so much loss in recent years. I seem to have shoved her memory back into the corners of my heart and I have been trying very hard to ignore that pain.

There are those moments of bare and naked awareness when I remember and when the shock is full in my face and burning a deep hole of loss within me, but, for now, mostly I am trying to push aside these many chaotic feelings, it is more than I can handle.

Thanks to all who come here and read my story, I hope my words bring understanding and release to you in your own experience of losing a dear and beloved friend.

Jan

Hi, Jan, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I wish there was something I could say and do to help ease your grief. When we do experience multiple losses over a short period of time, the grief and shock do take their toll on us - - I know this first hand. Denial and shock are two very dominant coping mechanisms that kick in to protect us physically and emotionally from having to process the trauma of loss immediately. But as they provide a protective cushion, they also delay the process which can be a two edged sword.

Still, we can only handle what we can handle when we can handle it and as we can handle it. Jan, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel your journey, and that I am walking beside you every step of the way, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Finding gratitude in a time of loss on Thanksgiving Day.......

I desperately miss my loving little kitten, Ms Chan, but I want to focus on thankfulness this day when we celebrate a holiday to commemorate a time of bounty after many seasons of famine and death.

I am very grateful for my two remaining kitty companions, Zouzou and Tedly, who bring love and craziness into my life. Their warm fuzzy wacky selves brighten my days and bring comfort to my dark nights when I am missing little Chan.

I am grateful for good health, a dry and comfortable living space, plenty to eat, loving friends and family and a good quality of life.

I am grateful for the opportunity to travel and see the world and share my experiences with others.

And last, but not least, I am very grateful for this site and all the loving hearts who come to share their stories and reach out to each other across the many miles and throughout the world. We join hands in messages of loss and words of comfort.

Happy Thanksgiving, Jan

Hi, Jan, thank you so o o o much for your most wonderful words. I empathize with your missing your sweet Little Chan. I, too, have some mixed emotions this Thanksgiving day, and like you, am encouraging myself to stay focused on the blessings - - much the same as yours.

I consider you and everyone here my greatest and most cherised friends, and I am thankful for the privilege of knowing each of you. Although it is sadness that initially brings us together, we share a bond of friendship through our beloved companions that is eternal. And while we may be "strangers" during our earthly journey, we will know each other when we greet each other in eternal joy - - for our beloved companions have already introduced us through this wonderful website.

Jan, may your Thanksgiving be filled with peace and comfort, and many wonderful memories to cherish forever in your heart.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today.......

I sit here with my coffee and miss sharing the morning with little Chan.
I miss her small warm self snuggled up next to me.
I miss her insistent and persistent personality.
I miss the deep joy and love that she embraced every moment of her life with.
I miss her playful mischievous kitty pranks, what would she do next?

How I so miss my darling little girl. The holiday season will be rough and lonely without her.

Thanks to Zouzou and Tedly for their continued presence in my life, they are good kitty friends.

Jan

Aw, Jan, I'm nodding my head in agreement as I read your message. The holiday season certaintly is going to be rough for a lot of us on here. Our loved ones are going to be so dearly missed. I'm so glad we have this forum and each other.

Take care, Cheryl x

I'm glad you have Zouzou and Tedly by your side during this difficult time. The holidays are definitely more difficult since we have so many more memories around that time. Just try to keep your head up the best you can and remember that you gave Chan a life she would not have had otherwise.

Hi, Jan, just stopping by to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and truly understand how you're feeling. This "most wonderful time of the year" can be the "most lonely time of the year" when our hearts are missing the sweet physical presence of our beloved companions.

As Cheryl and Aaron have so reassuringly said, we are here for you and for each other during these coming days and weeks, and all days beyond. May you, Zouzou and Tedly continue to find great comfort with one another, and with Chan's sweet Living Spirit always with you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Such kindness and compassion, it eases my sadness to know you guys are here sharing this with me, and making every effort to travel with me down this difficult road.

Thinking of each of you and feeling very grateful for your loving companionship.

Jan

Some good days, some bad days, some easy days, some hard days.

Funny how little things trigger my deep sorrow over losing Chan. Downloading pictures from my camera I discover an old photo of her in August when she first came to join my family. So hard to see that little girl, young sweet healthy and so alive alive alive. And now, no more.

Even photos of a similar kitty leave me with a tight throat and teary eyes. Or walking down a neighborhood street and a Chan lookalike pops out to greet me. So hard to know that my little girl is never coming home to play. She will not see her first Christmas tree, she will not get tangled up in ribbon or break any ornaments. All those annoying and irritating things now seem like blessings. Sharing life is not always a simple carefree experience, once our loved ones are gone we often cherish some of the more difficult memories of times together.

Hope you all are finding ways to remember your beloved friends this holiday season.

Thanks again for all your heartfelt messages and generous loving remarks.

Jan

Yep, you never know what small thing will trigger something to remind you of Chan. Some people try and guard themselves from such triggers, but they happen eventually. These are very difficult times for all of us in some way or another. I hope you can still enjoy your other furball friends and time with friends and family.

Hi Janee

Lisa and I lost our beloved Misty last Friday who was very special to us, I have always believed that animals bring light into this harsh world where they do not judge us, they accept us for who we are. They can bring great joy and comfort as well as being tinkerbells. Take your time and let it all out and remember their spirit is waiting for you at rainbow bridge.

Christmas is just a short time away, still, I have no tree and have sent no cards. I want to try and do these things but it is somehow harder than it should be, more difficult to find the cheer in the season, the joy and goodwill.

I have put up a few advent calendars, but so far, that is it. I think this year will be very quiet.

I did find something in the season to make me smile. I bought some 'Rudolph' socks, ones with the ribbed bottoms, so they are more slipper than sock. These also had bells on them and poor Mr Kitty Zouzou went dashing out of the room at the first sound of jingle-jingle-jingle creeping up on him! Too funny. So glad to have my plump big guy Zouzou and my wiry wiley wacky Tedly-Bear, such sweethearts they are.

Hope everyone is doing well and celebrating with sweet memories of their much loved friends.

Jan

That made me laugh! Bless him!

I think it's important not to put pressure on ourselves over the upcoming festive events. We often feel that we should be trying to enjoy it, that we should be doing this... Sometimes we just have to take a step back from it all and realise that we've just suffered a tragic loss, and it's okay not to be "up" to doing certain things, and it's okay to still feel sad from time to time. So do whatever you feel comfortable doing

Take care and hang in there,
Cheryl xx

Hi, Jan, just being able to get caught up on your posts. As Cheryl has so compassionately said, may I echo her words: it's okay not to pressure yourself into participating in festivities. Just do what you feel you can handle - - listen to your heart, Jan - - it will never fail you. Last year I didn't send out any cards, either. Instead I wrote a very brief e-mail to immediate family members. This year, I have sent e-cards to immediate family members, and I was able to enjoy doing it.

The point is, Jan, to echo Cheryl's wise words - - do only what you feel up to doing when you feel up to doing it -- and you do not need to make any apologies to anyone about it.

I like your socks with the bells on them. Like Cheryl, that makes me laugh, too. Bask in the warmth of your precious memories of your little Chan and in the precious time you have with your sweet ZouZou and Tedley.

And remember we are here with you and for you and by you always. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Jan, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, that sweet little child, Ms Chan......how she grabbed my heart when she was here.....how hard it is to no longer have her with me.

Little things, how they bring back the sadness, the tears, the missing her so feelings. I walk past the bedroom and see a small dark ball on the bed. I remember Chan, and how she would curl up in a small dark ball, I wish it was her that I see, but it is only a small piece of clothing. I download pictures from my camera and always the software asks me---replace duplicate photos or not? There is a picture that I see each time and I cannot yet delete it from the camera even though I have a copy on my computer. It is Chan chowing down for dinner with Zouzou and Tedly, all three of them together like they had always been together, even though they actually had only just met a few days or weeks before.

Ah, well, the holidays are hard without those you love, and sometimes their time comes before you know it, just creeps up and snatches away the beauty of that life that was so amazing and wonderful and came to visit for too too short of a time.

Thanks for the warm kindness and compassion of your words, Cheryl and Moonbeam, it means so much.

Jan

I am so glad that the holidays are over, I don't need to pretend that I am jolly and celebrating. I don't need to call out cheery greetings to friends and strangers alike, I don't need to bustle about to happy gatherings, to buy bright shiny packages, to decorate with holiday festivity and try to color my world in a brightness that is missing a very special someone.

How can a little ball of fuzz so small make such a difference? Her loss is acutely felt and her short time here much treasured.

There is no end to the joy she brought into my life so I try to remember her sweetness and sparkle and it eases my heart a bit.

I hope everyone has made it through the holiday season and is coping with the memory of a beloved friend that is no longer here.

Jan

Hi, Jan, isn't it amazing how our precious companions fill our hearts and lives with the very essence of their presence!! I can so relate to how you feel about the holidays being passed and no longer having to put on the "public face".

How are Zouzou and Tedly doing these days? I hope each of you will be able to find some comfort and peace in your hearts through the coming days, Jan, - one day at a time - - knowing you are not alone - - knowing that we are here for you.

Please know you, Zouzou, and Tedly are in my thoughts and prayers, Jan, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam