Charlie was just the opposite. Whenever he'd see a puppy, he'd get this totally sappy look on his face, as if he was thinking, "Awwww. . ." Then he'd roll over on his back and let the puppy crawl all over him. He was such a softie! Belle has a little more of a "princess" complex, I'm afraid, and far less patience. She's very sweet with human babies, but canine babies annoy her. Charlie actually picked Belle out when she was a puppy. She was the feistiest member of her litter and quickly got bored with her littermates. She preferred to run with the big dogs and Charlie was the only 'big' dog who would play with her. From earliest puppyhood onward, they were absolutely devoted to one another. Of course they also teased each other something awful, but there was also a true and abiding affection between them. That's one of the hardest things about this, actually. They were always together and so close in age that it just never occurred to me they might not grow old together. Belle is still just middle-aged and now Charlie is gone. Poor thing, it hurts me to look at her sometimes. She seems so lost and alone that it just about breaks my heart.

Barbara

It sure sounds like Charlie and Belle had a wonderful relationship. I can only imagine what must be going through Belle's mind as she wonders where her Charlie went. I hope you two start having brighter days. I keep thinking about Sam and Charlie running and chasing each other around at Rainbow Bridge. If you have time -- go to YouTube and search for Westies playing tag. You'll get a big kick out of that video. Both of those Westies remind me of Sammy. Take care and have a restful night.
Sharon

Sharon, I just saw it and got such a kick out of it. That was Charlie's favorite game. He'd peer around a corner with a huge grin on his face and pure devilment in his eyes (just like those dogs in the YouTube video!) and you just knew what he was waiting for. He was waiting for somebody to say, "I'm gonna get you!" and off he'd dash in the opposite direction. There was nothing he liked better than having someone chase him or chasing somebody else, if not another dog then a human would do just as well. It annoyed him when other dogs became so obsessed with chasing balls. To him that was a pointless activity, but chasing one another - that he loved! I have no doubt that Charlie & Sammy are having a great time chasing each other around the Rainbow Bridge, and I'm sure they both have all the energy they had when they were puppies. And when they get tired, they can curl up on a patch of grass in the sunshine and have a nice restorative nap. Until they're ready to play again, of course.

Thanks for that image, Sharon. It made me smile!

Barbaqra

Hi Barbara
Boy - talking to you about Charlie and Sam is bringing back so many memories for me. Sammy wasn't big on fetching either. When we brought her home at 8 weeks old - we had gotten her a squeaky ball - (it is now in her urn with her ashes and her collar and tags). We'd throw that and she'd go get it and bring it back once, twice -- maybe if you were lucky three times -- but the fourth time you threw the ball she'd just stay right by your side and look at you as if to say -- hey -- you go get that ball. We'd chase her around the house too saying "I'm gonna get you -- she'd always try to run to her toybox and grab the ball or another stuffed toy to carry in her mouth. If she couldn't grab a toy and you'd corner her in the living room she'd stop and just howl! She would have let us chase her around the house forever!! Thanks for the reminders. I truly believe that Charlie and Sammy are chasing each other all over the rainbow bridge! take care

Sharon, you have had some time to start to heal. Does the pain and lonliness go away? The worst for me so far is getting up in the morning or coming back into the house. No warm fuzzy buddy to greet me and share my day. My husband who has been supportive through this ordeal is not the dog lover that I am. I think my pain over losing Rafer is hard for him to understand, although he has shed tears when I talk about him. Bless you and I hope you are healing. Rafer's mom, Ida Jean.

Hi Idajean
I'm still counting the weeks that Sammy has been gone -- this past Monday it was 15 weeks. It is slowly - very slowly getting better. I still miss her terribly when I come home from work and my husband is out of town working. In fact, most nights when he is gone I go somewhere for awhile and don't come home right away to our empty house. Those first few weeks were awful - I won't kid you a bit. That warm fuzzy body just isn't there - that wagging tail doesn't greet you anymore. Sammy always gave me "kisses" when I came home. Oh to just hold her one more time...

It seems that it gets better in small increments. Then something happens and you feel bad again. For example (this is going to sound completely crazy) but we've been having warmer weather (finally - I live in North Dakota) and the snow is melting. We're starting to see the lawn again and the first day that happened I came in the house and sat down and cried my heart out. Sammy loved being outside in the summer and she would always lay on the lawn. To see the grass and know she will never get to lay on it again just made me so terribly sad.

I wish you peace, Idajean and will keep you in my prayers. This is so hard and I wish I could take your pain away from you.

Sharon

I know what you mean, Sharon. I had a bad moment today myself. I was in my home office, fiddling around with something on the computer that wasn't working right and I happened to glance over at the window. It's one of two windows that face the street and in front of this one is a little bench that I placed there so Charlie could look out. Well, I saw one of his hairs on the bench and felt this sudden, overwhelming sense of loss, like I just couldn't believe he was really gone. Most of the time I do pretty well. I'm adapting, accepting the cruel vissicitudes of fate and so on, but every once in awhile I get hit with a wave that just about knocks me flat, and this one was a regular tidal wave. At any rate, I started crying and sweet Belle came in and started nuzzling me. Apparently she's getting better, because the first few days she avoided me completely, especially when I was very upset. I think her own grief was so painful that she couldn't bear to deal with mine as well, but now she's taken over Charlie's role as chief comforter, and she is a comfort, bless her. When I lost my last dog I had to come home to an empty house and I remember how oppressive the silence was. I got Charlie to help me get over that loss and now I have Belle to help me get over Charlie. What I would do if anything happened to Belle, I can't even begin to imagine. I've actually found myself watching her lately with anxious eyes. I mean, she appears to be in excellent health, but then so did Charlie up until a month before he died.

Charlie loved the springtime too. From where I'm sitting right now I can see the spot where he liked to nap on warm days on a patch of soft grass under an elder tree. If I squint a little, I can still see him there, sniffing the air appreciatively and listening to birds chatter overhead. *sigh* It isn't right, is it? It just isn't right.

Barbara

No Barbara
It just isn't right and I honestly don't know how to make it better. I don't know what to do half the time. I miss Sammy so and I just don't know anymore....


Sharon

I know, Sharon. I know. I miss my little man so much. How is it even possible that he was here just a couple of weeks ago and now he's gone forever. My poor Charlie. I wish I could go back in time and fix whatever went wrong. Charlie and Belle ought to have grown old together. Charlie ought to be here right now, and so should your Sammy. I'm trying to hold onto that image of Charlie & Sammy chasing each other around the Rainbow Bridge, but sometimes it's so hard. It's just so hard.

Barbara

Hi Barbara
I'm trhing to hold onto that image of Charlie and Sammy at Rainbow bridge too. We went out of town for the weekend and just got back a bit ago -- it's so hard -- normally I would now go to my mom and dad's (who always kept Sammy for us when we were gone) and pick her up. It was just sad all the drive home knowing that she wasn't there waiting for us.
It's neat to hear you're fostering Cokie --- he sounds like a total bundle of energy. Amazing that he likes to fetch that much -- Sammy never really did enjoy that game. Well - I think I'm going to try and sleep now so I can stop missing Sam -- talk to you later.
Sharon

Hi Sharon--

I'm just thinking of you and Sammy, with bright thoughts in my heart.

I've been absent a lot here lately, what with Ladywolf in a bit of a downslide, and trying to find WORK since my teaching job disappeared, so I've been distracted.

But just wanted to say hi, and send you our love--

Ladywolf and Margi

Charlie didn't like to fetch either. In fact, he seemed to consider it a totally pointless activity and would much rather have played tag or chased a squirrel or something. When he was younger I used to leave him with a neighbor who had a dog walking service. They liked Charlie so much that they'd keep him at their house all day when I was still working full time (this was before Belle was born) and she had several dogs, all of whom liked to play fetch. Charlie must have gotten fed up with it because my neighbor suddenly noticed that all the tennis balls kept disappearing. She also noticed that Charlie kept turning up with muddy paws so one day she followed him and found him at the side of the house, busily digging a tennis ball graveyard. What a little scamp he was!

Hope you're feeling better today, Sharon. It's always an up and down thing, isn't it? I'm the same way, though having little Cokie here this past weekend helped a lot. He went to his new home this afternoon. I'll miss him but I'm happy for him too. He came a very long way in a remarkably short time, and I'm sure he's going to have a happy, happy life now.

Barbara

Charlie didn't like to fetch either. In fact, he seemed to consider it a totally pointless activity and would much rather have played tag or chased a squirrel or something. When he was younger I used to leave him with a neighbor who had a dog walking service. They liked Charlie so much that they'd keep him at their house all day when I was still working full time (this was before Belle was born) and she had several dogs, all of whom liked to play fetch. Charlie must have gotten fed up with it because my neighbor suddenly noticed that all the tennis balls kept disappearing. She also noticed that Charlie kept turning up with muddy paws so one day she followed him and found him at the side of the house, busily digging a tennis ball graveyard. What a little scamp he was!

Hope you're feeling better today, Sharon. It's always an up and down thing, isn't it? I'm the same way, though having little Cokie here this past weekend helped a lot. He went to his new home this afternoon. I'll miss him but I'm happy for him too. He came a very long way in a remarkably short time, and I'm sure he's going to have a happy, happy life now.

Barbara

Hi Margi and Barbara
Margi -- I'm sorry to hear that Ladywolf isn't doing so well. I hope she can hang in there longer for you! I've missed seeing you post around here and was thinking about you too!

Charlie sounds like he was quite the Westie - Barbara-- I can just picture him burying all those tennis balls. I'm glad that Cokie found a permanent home too. I hope the new people are good to him -- it sounds like he deserves a better home that what he had before he came to you.


Today it's been 16 weeks since Sammy has been gone. Soon it will be 4 calendar months. It seems like I'm getting so homesick for her now that I feel like it's getting worse instead of better. The snow is all melted here now and I saw some spots where Sam was sick last December -- I remember how distressed I was during that time when I'd come home from work to find she had thrown up the food I'd fed her. I felt so helpless then -- almost in a constant state of panic about her being sick. I know she's not suffering anymore -- I just miss her so damn much right now.

Thanks for stopping by and saying hello.

Sharon

Sharon,
Cokie's new owners are a couple who have already adopted several Rescues. Two live with them now, both males and both very mellow, so Cokie will have two very indulgent big brothers to play with. They have a big backyard and a dog door, so he'll be able to go in and out whenever he likes. No more being caged all day and he's with people who know and adore Westies. When Cokie first met his new daddy this afternoon, he leapt into his lap and covered his face with kisses so it seems like a match made in heaven. He was quite happy to toddle off with them though I have to admit to mixed feelings when they left. On the one hand, I'm very happy for the little guy, but on the other, it was so nice having a Westie around again. You forget just how much those little white faces can brighten an entire room just by walking into it.

I can so relate to your feelings about the spots under the snow. I still have stains on my carpet where Charlie was sick, as he was so often in those final days. It got to the point where he couldn't even hold down water, so I had to give him subcutaneous fluids which he hated and I hated giving him. He was so thin and so frail toward the end, and he'd always been such a happy, bouncy boy. It made me cringe to pet him, because he was all skin and bone. I know I will always miss him, but I feel as if he's pushing me to move on. Charlie could never bear for anyone to be sad, especially those he loved the most, and I know he'd hate to think that even in death he was the cause of my sorrow. Sorry, little man, but I can't really help it. On the other hand, maybe I can make all that misery count for something. Helping other Westies is a way of making it count. At least I hope so.

Barbara

I think helping other Westies is definitely a way of making it count. And Sammy was the same as Charlie - she absolutely HATED when we were feeling sad or down. I know she'd probably be terribly dissapointed in me with the way I'm reacting to her death. She wouldn't want me to be sad and that's what I'm trying to pound into my head when I start missing her so very much. Last night I was able to tell a friend about our "signs" that we received in Arizona on our vacation in February without crying so I think I'm making a little progress. Have a great trip going to see those new little babies!
Sharon

Hey Sammy
I miss you more every day -- I'll love you forever and never forget you. You'll always be in my heart.

Cyber hugs to you, Sharon. It's 3 weeks today since Charlie left us, but I still feel him near in so many ways. I'm sure Sammy is with you as well, as you say, in your heart.

Blessings,

Barbara

I still feel Sammy near me too -- it's her physical presence that I am missing so much. We had Good Friday off - so this is a long weekend for me with too much time on my hands to think.

Take care
Sharon

Hey Sammy girl - tomorrow it will be 4 months since you left us. I can't believe it has been that long and I'm really missing you so badly these past few days. I had a dream about you for the first time last night -- you were sitting on the bed watching me sleep and when I woke up I was so happy thinking -- I don't need another dog -- you're still here. Then when I realized it was just a dream - I felt even sadder. I know you're in a safe place playing with all your new buddies at Rainbow Bridge - but I just miss you -- you weren't here long enough for me -- but then no matter how long you would have been here - it would never have been enough. I am so grateful that God allowed you into my life -- you were truly the best thing that ever happened to me.
Love you forever.