Oh my gosh. I never thought the weekend could feel so alone and empty! On saturdays I would get my kids and either go fishing at a local pond or go to Sparky's favorite park and just let him run and run and chase his tennis ball. Now, I sit here and do NOTHING. My middle son is in his room playing gamecube, my daughter and oldest son are in the family room watching Hey Arnold! I am here in my room feeling just terrible and thought the only thing that could keep me from the breaking point was to write my feelings.

Today is 9-11 and I should be thinking about all the innocent people who lost their lives to the terrible terrorist that bombed the World Trade Center and Pentagon, but instead I am here mouring my lose, mt Sparky , my buddy. I miss him so much, I think with each day instead of feeling better my arms ache more and more. I have a stuffed Sheltie that is about half the size of my buddy and would you belive I carry this around with me to every room I go to. I have a Winnie the Pooh blanket that I cover him up with when I lay him on the couch or my bed. I am still waiting for the call from the vet to let me know that his ashed are ready to be picked up. At that time I have to pick up his bed as well. I'm not sure how I will handle this, I am hoping that I will be ok because for the last 2 weeks before he passed he layed in his bed and it most likely smells just like him, and I am hoping that this will be a good thing. Plus the people at the vet took his paw prints and trimmed a piece of his fur for me.

I had a Spaniel Mix that I lost on November 27, 1998 (he was born on May 1st 1985) and I remember mourning him for a long time but God forgive when I say this, the pain I felt then isn't the same kind of pain I feel now. When Corky died I had Sparky to help console me, he always new when I was sad, he would come and cuddle up to me and just stay right on my lap until he KNEW I didn't need him to stay with me anymore. He KNEW every time when I was ok. He was so smart. I loved Croky with all my heart just as I loved Sparky, but like I said this pain is so great. I am thinking that this is because I have no ther doggie to be by my side and help me through this plus Sparky was my rock through the lose of my daughter and like someone said earlier I might be mourning the lose of my daughter all over again. I went to the grave of my daughter and sat there for 5 hours yesturday. I put flowers and a small picture of Sparky on her grave. I have lost 2 daughters and their graves are right next to each other so I put him in the middle. My Rachel was a twin of my middle son and was lost during the 6 month while I carried my son to 8 months. They are both buried next to each other in Babyland at Chapel Hill Gardens in Oakbrook Illinois, (in case anyone lives around here and has the chance to get over there, their graves are very pretty and always decorated.)

Corky's Tribute Page at PETLOSS.COM in case anyone would like to see the page I made for my other furbaby that was Sparky's buddy. There is a picture on Corky's page that has both of them together.

My heart goes out to everyone that has posted their lose and feelings here over that last couple of days. I have read them and believe me have cried with you. I can't say I know exactly how you are feeling because I have learned that everyone mourns differently and to way different extremes but I can say that I can feel your loss and your pain and my heart goes out to you. May Peace,Love and God be with you.

I guess I will go, thank you to anyone that is listening right now. I hope I haven't bored anyone to sleep. Talk to you soon. Thank you to everyone thqat cared enough to write to me and give some great advice.
Sincerely, Trish

It's very easy to say "you'll get over it" especially with such fond and precious memories of Sparky. But you will. Right now is really tough and when the loss is still new it seems like it will never end. I can only speculate as to why you feel more grief now than you did at the loss of your Corky but I would suggest that having Sparky around helped you through what was no doubt, just as sad an event as Sparky's passing.

The mind is a funny thing and I make no claims of understanding it completely. Time lessens the hurt. We have a tendency to remember the good things in comparison to the bad. That's not to say we don't remember the painful events in our lives, just that they become less painful as each day goes by. We tend to remember the happy times and the fun things that we did together and the stuff that wasn't so pleasant sort of falls off the table to a degree.

We'll always have those treasured memories of our beloved pets.

Can I make a suggestion? Again, easy to say but go for a walk. Take your stuffed Sheltie with you if need to, but get out of the house for a bit. Maybe don't go to your favourite place you and Sparky used to go to, but take some time. The house probably holds the most memories which at the moment may be causing you pain. So take a half hour (or whatever) and just go for a simple walk. As hard as it may be to do, enjoy the sky, the sunshine, the rain, the wind, the grass and trees. Ask the kids if they'd like to go with you or just leave them to themselves. I think it will help. I know it helps me.

Hi Trish
I too, just bought a stuffed animal yesterday that looks just like my Maxie. I held it while I watched tv last night. It was so comforting to have something soft and furry next to me again. I thought I was crazy. I'm glad you posted that information.

Thinking of you
Carol

Hi Trish,

Your most frequent post (after this one) was in the "tribute, memorial" section of this wesite and I added a reply there. Again, please don't think you have worn out your welcome--you haven't. We do care about you and understand the pain you're going through over the loss of your beloved Sparky. If we failed you, we're truly sorry and you can believe it was nothing intentional. Like I said in my other reply, sometimes there are many post in one days time and it can take a little time for us to respond, but that cetainly doesn't mean we don't care---we do. If you see your post has ended up on page 2 really fast, just add a reply yourself to that post and that will put it back on page one. Some us make the mistake of assuming that every post on page 2 has already had several responses and we don't look past page 1.

After reading your lastest post in the "tribute,memorial" section, I promise I will begin looking on page 2 to make sure every post has had a response. Please come back, Trish. We really do care.

You're in my thoughts,

___JIM

when I lost my lhasa apso I too bought a stuffed animal. It was very helpful to me!