Its been 2 months today since I lost my little man Louie. Its hard to believe its only been that short of time, it seems like its been years. I went to bed last night thinking 2 months ago was the last time he slept with me and woke up this morning with a heavy heart the first thing i thought was this was the last morning I had with him. Im really trying to accept the fact he's gone and I hope I will be with him again someday. I wish I could get some kind of sign from him letting me know that there was something else for him besides this life. There are days I wish I would see a kitty ghost. I know that sounds crazy but its the way I feel. At least that would let me know he's just past on to another phase. The guilt I carry is still there. I was hoping with time it was ease but it hasn't. All the what if's, if I didn't make the appointment with the vet he would still be here. Maybe if I took him to another vet this would not have happened? I feel like instead of moving forward I seem to take steps backwards. I found a poem on the Internet and I framed with along with a picture of him, its all I have left of him. I wanted to share it with everyone, when I read it, it makes me feel a little better. I hope it makes someone else feel the way I do when I read it.

On velvet paws as soft as night
you crept into my heart
And there you will live always, although we're now apart
I think of you quite often
how you slept and where you sat
You purr now in my memory,
my precious cherished cat
And in a place where rainbows shine, and summer never ends
I'll be with you forever Louie, and hold you once again.

Very nice poem. It does make me feel a little better. I agree with you that it's amazing how the time seemss to have slowed down. I can't believe that Sid was fine two months ago and now he's been gone for a month and eleven days. The slowest 41 days of my life.

You are not alone. I want terrribly to see a vision/ghost/dream something from my Crystal to let me know she has passed on to the green fields of the rainbow bridge. You are NOT crazy. I would have a huge "release" if I could experience some kind of confirmation that there is something else for her and she is happy and healthy again. So many people say they have afterlife experiences like that. I, like you, want it very badly!

I still have guilt also. It has been 2 weeks for me so I am still suffering from denial that "she can't really be gone." I still look for her in her favorite spots, but never find her. It breaks my heart that I can't wake up and have her snuggled up beside me. I still have the feeling that I should have taken her to specialists. Since she passed, I have read on this site about an experimental drug that is successful for congestive heart failure. I would have tried anything else to still have her with me.

I have ups and downs and it is always worse at night when the world slows down and I have more time to think about it.

Hopefully, with time we can ease the pain, but we will always have a special memory the pecious furbaby that we had the previledge of sharing our life with.