When is the right time to bring a new baby into your life after losing the most important baby you ever had? My Duke can never, ever be replaced...and I would never even try to replace him.

I feel awful even thinking about it.

Hi, Angela-

I think that choice varies from person to person, and also varies with each individual's situation. I decided to give myself at least a year before getting a new dog, but the powers that be saw differently...I now have 2 dogs...Emma was a nursing momma who was taken out of town and dumped on the road without her puppies. She found her way to my yard and I knew that if I took her to one of the local shelters, she would have been put to sleep. Koda was a 4 week old puppy when he was dumped on the side of the road with his brother. Koda was such a cutie, and Emma bonded with him immediately, so I kept him too. (Koda's brother found a very good home too) Had these 2 dogs not happened into my life, I'd probably be thinking about getting a puppy about now. I have to say, I'm glad Koda and Emma did come along. They're by no means Shiloh replacements (I still miss Shiloh more than words can describe), and I don't think of them as that, but I still love them very much.

I think the most important thing to remember when getting a new dog is that it's not going to be your old dog...and it sounds like you already know that. I know for me, if I'd gone out looking for a new dog right after Shiloh died, my expectations of the new dog would have been too high, as I would have expected him/her to be just like Shiloh. Since Emma and Koda found me, I never really had those kind of expectations for them...they've just gotten to be themselves.

I'm attaching a picture of Emma (on the left) and Koda (on the right)

Hugs,
Kathleen

Angela,

I think it is always the right time.

People vary. I very much wanted to wait. Actually-- I never wanted another dog. Cats, yes, but in my mind I just did not ever want another dog. Tim's (husband) grief was just as intense, but very very different. And 6 weeks after, we had a new puppy. When we got Hathor, I was being sort of "selfless" (the idea of me being selfless makes me laugh). But I gave in to Tim's desire for a new dog just bc I could tell he needed that.

About 9 months later we adopted/rescued hathor's best friend from the neighborhood, Chata. We are both madly in love with both of them.

We got new cats a week after Electra passed.

Duke taught you about love and joy. And if you can open your heart and give that to another animal, it is an honor to Duke. It's nothing to feel guilty about. It means he taught you well....

One thing you must NOT expect though is for the hurt to go away. Tim was shocked by the way Hathor as a new puppy intensified his grief over the loss of Freyja. I had done a lot of reading, so I expected that. I KNOW how empty the house is without Duke. And having a new pet does help to fill up that empty quiet. But probably, everything the new pet does will remind you of how Duke either also did that or never did that-- and that can hurt.

--Jennifer

You're right. No one and nothing can ever replace Duke. But taking in another life honors Duke's memory and increases the love you have to share. That, I think, is the best memorial you can make because Duke would want you to help others like you helped him. And, consider the possibility that Duke is sending you another to care for. Love knows not time nor distance.

Hi Angela, My dad had to have his 11 year old border collie (Rocky) to sleep last February because of cancer. He didn't want another dog because he said he was too old. I told him I would take the new dog if something happened to him and he said he would think about it. In the meantime, I got on the border collie rescue site and found a beautiful border collie(probably not 100% collie but who cares), and showed Dad his photo. We drove 125 miles for a look, and it was love at first sight. Rocky ll is only 2 years old and keeps my dad entertained all day. He's a beautiful dog but has a completely different character than Rocky l. He didn't name him Rocky to replace his other dog. The people who were fostering him had named him Crackerjack, but he didn't answer to that and Dad said he didn't care much for that name, so he just named him Rocky as he couldn't think of anything else. This happened 4 days after Rocky 1 died. Rocky ll filled a big void as Dad used to walk Rocky twice a day, play in the pool with him, and talk to him like a human. My mum died 11 years ago and Dad lives alone. He's always had a dog--they had 4 when my mum was alive.

If you're looking for another doberman, check out the rescue sites. The only bad thing is that youll want to adopt all of them. How much room do you have?!

Love,

Christine

Yesterday I talked with a breeder about 2 hours away who informed me that black dobie pups were born on Friday the 24th...we are going to see them most likely in the next couple of weeks. I still miss my baby, but my boyfriend said my eyes "lit up like a christmas tree" when I talked to the breeder on the phone about a new baby. We can't bring home another red dobie, it would be too hard...that's why we decided to go with a black one. We won't even have the baby until the first week in August, and hopefully, that will be enough time for me to really prepare for what is going to happen. My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 years (pretty much married) and we have no human children so we can't wait.

Christine, we would love to have 3-4 dobies, but we simply can't get ourselves into that financially...I was laid off in May and luckily my boyfriend's job is secure. We also love to spoil our baby boy so I don't know how we would do with multiple dogs. I haven't mentioned that we have an 8-year-old black cat named Max as well who misses his brother so much. Max has been sleeping with us every night, and in the evenings has been wandering from room to room looking for his big brother...they used to play all the time and sleep next to eachother on the bed or couch.

--Angela

Hi Angela, How are things going with you? Let us know what you decided about adopting a furry companion. I once had a ##er spaniel named Lucy, and I think she could see spirits. She would sit and stare, and her eyes would "track" as though she was watching something moving. If you've ever tried to "track" with your eyes, it's impossible without watching a moving object (put your finger in front of you and feel your eyes move smoothly while you move it. Now try and make your eyes move smoothly without focusing on anything--the movements are jerky). Anyway, enough on optometry. My point is, when you get a new fur baby--watch his eyes. Duke may appear to him (dogs are cool with spirits so he won' be alarmed) to show him the ropes and tell him what good people you are!

Love,

Christine

Hi Christine,
Wow, that's amazing to hear about what Lucy was doing....I will defintely keep an eye out for "tracking". We are going to see the puppies this weekend hopefully, they will be 2 weeks old at that point. I still miss Duke every day, and tomorow will be two weeks since he left us. Sometimes is still doesn't feel real...I cry a little less every day, but never stop thinking about him and how special he was to us.

I know this will get easier with time.

Love,
Angela

Hi Angela, That's great news! I know your heart still aches for Duke. Today has been 3 weeks since Sandy P left us. I've got some of my favorite photos of her in pretty frames around the house and plan on displaying some more as the days go on. Her little garden is really flourishing which is pretty amazing in this horrible heat (IWe live in Arkansas. My husband is from Boston and I am from England so we both suffer in this heat).

Keep us updated on the pup.....we want pictures.

Love,

Christine