No Chance To Say Goodbye Options

[LS Support]

my cat Funky died at the vet yesterday while coming out of anathesia from a very routine procedure, he was just over a year old. i didnt want to take him to the vet, but his inner ear had been infected for a while (a polyp, we were to find out yesterday) and the therapy needed to be done. knowing this was a common procedure, i didnt think much about it. when i heard the vet (my ex-wife) crying on the other end, my first thoughts were that one of my kids was in trouble. then she said the words no owner wants to hear: your pet died.

i lost it pretty hard yesterday, who says men dont cry? i did for hours in bed while listening to the rain and thunder outside. he was a sturdy cat, healthy in every other way besides that damn ear. he and i had a good play session the night prior to the procedure, but in the morning i unceremoniously picked him up and stuffed him into the carrier for his final ride. if i would have known i would not see him again, i would have squeezed him til he squeaked. but that was not the case, and i didnt have a chance to say goodbye. thats what hurts the most.

i finally dragged myself out of bed to half eat some dinner. then turned on the tv to block out the sadness when, wouldnt you know, the national ASPCA commercial with sara mclaughlin singing 'in the arms of an angel' came on. well dear friend, i lost it again.

today, i am cried out. the shock has subsided but the pain still remains. i would love to stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head again today, but work and the world has different plans for me. the house already feels empty, tho the kitty was small he was part of my every day routines. i missed him chasing me down the stairs to my office to get fed this morrning. so sad. worst part yet to come, i have to face telling my daughter on friday evening when i pick her up from a week at camp. she loved the little guy, its not going to be pretty.

so though i may not respond to very many posts anymore, seeing the pain day after day has wore me thin, i do understand how you feel. i have been through the pain, and now go through the pain again.

RIP Funkyman, your time came much too soon.

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[goliath]

WOW! Mark, I am so sorry to hear of Funky's unexpected death. I know first hand how it feels when news like this hits out nowhere. It's like getting hit by a mack truck head on wondering where the heck it came from.

Goliath and I had just returned from the ER the night he passed away. The vet said he just had some indigestion and sent us home with an antacid. Here I am sitting home feeling relieved thinking all was well. Can you imagine how shocked I was when he passed away in my arms just a few hours later? After the autopsy was done I was even more shocked because the results showed I had a perfectly healthy chihuahua.

These are the times that are so difficult to cope with. It's frustrating when we try making sense out of something that makes no sense at all, especially with these younger babies. Telling your daughter I know will be hard because the pain of giving her the sad news combined with your own feelings of sadness doubles the pain. My hubby was out of town when I had to tell him about Goliath and I never will forget how hard he took it. I was an absolute wreck and feel into such a dark hole I thought I could never crawl out.

That was til I found LS and wonderful people like you. Today I am soooooooo grateful for all that I have loved and all that is yet to be.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Mark as well as your wife and daughter. May you all be blessed with peace and comfort. Thanks for being who you are and for giving so much of yourself to myself and others.

Much love with warm hugs to you and yours,
Beth

[Candy's Dad]

today, i am cried out. the shock has subsided but the pain still remains. i would love to stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head again today, but work and the world has different plans for me.

Oh Mark, how we know this all too well. I'm really sorry for your loss of your prescious kitty, especially in such a sudden way. Please know that we're hear to support you and please feel free to vent anytime. I know it helps to express your feelings, even if it's just the cyber world. Tomorrow I would loose my Candy a week now and I know how it feels to come home to an empty house.

Take care buddy. It will get better.

[LoveThem]

When I hear something like this it just makes me want to scream and curse..instead I am sitting here crying as I type.

I am so very very sorry, Mark. This is just awful...one year old...routine procedure....I don't know if fate can get any crueler than that. I don't understand what happened. I have read in the past of reactions to anesthetics..I don't know if that was it. He must have been under an anesthesia before to be neutered. What was different? Can this be avoided in the future? Should everyone be scared to do..routine procedures?

Well, you do know so well how writing can help heal. This pain is just too intense and shocking right now. I am glad to hear you letting out as much as you can, whether by tears or whatever works.

You said: RIP Funkyman, your time came much too soon.


Truer words were never spoken.

Hugs and tears, Mark, and there are many cybershoulders here to lean on.

It just isn't right...it just should not have happened...

It is bad enough going to the vet knowing a final decision has been made and we know it is goodbye but shocks like this are the most unfair of all.....our furbabies do not deserve such a happening and neither do we. Why is such cruelty allowed in life?

Take Care, Mark, and I know you know very well this forum you created in memory of a special one...is still here to help you when you need it.

[AngelCareOne]

Dearest Mark, I'm so sorry that your precious Funky fur kid passed to The Rainbow Bridge. How gosh awful you must be feeling with grief right now.

I hope and pray that what I'm going to share with you will bring you some small comfort. The first is a Website where you can go. I sure wish there was a way I could post the music for you right here but there is no link available. Please go to ...

http://www.myspace.com/amybarbera

Or click on the Butterflies below to take you to that Website. That site may take a couple minutes to load. Okay?

Go to the upper right where you have a choice of hearing four songs. "One Day" is at the bottom. Click on it and listen. Such a comforting and reasuring song, Dear One. The Website is so very Angelic, too.

Here's another one that tells me that my beloved feather child is just a breath away and right by my side. I can feel him all around me and hope it does the same for you and your Funky fur kid. Please click on Funky's beautiful photograph to watch and hear.

"To Where You Are"

Who can say for certain maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear. Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are my Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up above!

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight to see you smile! If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen. As my heart holds you just one beat away I cherish all you gave me everyday!

'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above and I believe that Angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave!

Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star! I wish upon tonight to see you smile if only for a while to know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!

I know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!

Mark, I Wish You Peace!

Always,
Angel xoxoxox

[LS Support]

thanks everyone for your kind words

as the day goes on i find myself getting sad again. but to be expected, the grief is still fresh. for years since Tribble's passing, i vowed to never get close to a pet again. now ive lost 2 within 2 years, my fear is stronger than ever and i don't think me and animals were meant to be together any longer. perhaps it is best, as owner of this website, to remain detached. i dunno.

Angel, To Where You Are was just what the doctor ordered. i embedded it here and also have included a couple more pics of funky.

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[sissycat]

OMG Mark I am so sorry and Funky was just beautiful. There was some specially reason your Funky was chosen to go. I have been here to this site for 3 weeks now and you people are great. Now it is our turn to help you. You must have some wonderful memories even tho your time was cut short.
Many hugs to you!!!!!!!!!

[goliath]

as the day goes on i find myself getting sad again. but to be expected, the grief is still fresh. for years since Tribble's passing, i vowed to never get close to a pet again. now ive lost 2 within 2 years, my fear is stronger than ever and i don't think me and animals were meant to be together any longer. perhaps it is best, as owner of this website, to remain detached. i dunno.

I too was hesitant to let myself get attached to any more pets Mark. For a very long time after Goliath passed away I really didn't want to ever risk letting another love come into my life. I just felt I would never be able to go through anymore hurt and grief. Eventually we adopted Browser and I figured he would be fun to have in our home to liven it up a little. I told myself I was not going to get overly attached again. Well, when Browser went missing one late afternoon and was not found again til after 3:30 in the morning. My heart and mind changed completely. His disappearing rendevouz and miracle rescue wound up bonding us forever. To deprive myself of all the joy and happiness these babies bring into our home and hearts would leave an emptiness inside that would last forever. As long as I have love that lives in me there is a need for me to share it with all who I love so much. My babies are the spice in my life that help me continue to grow. I will love Goliath til the day after forever and give thanks that I ever had such a blessing as he was.

There can be no life without death. Each day is another gift. The many lessons of love these furkids bring is what makes me a better me. I could have avoided all the grief and agony of having lost Goliath if I hadn't made the choice to bring him into my life. But then I also wouldn't have had all the beautiful and wondrous memories he and I made together either.

Love and hugs of comfort from my heart to you and your family, Mark,
Beth

[LS Support]

I could have avoided all the grief and agony of having lost Goliath if I hadn't made the choice to bring him into my life. But then I also wouldn't have had all the beautiful and wondrous memories he and I made together either.

a good point that i will take to heart, Beth.

There was some specially reason your Funky was chosen to go

i agree, wouldnt it be great to know what it was?

[AngelCareOne]

{{{{{Mark}}}}} So tragic to lose two so soon and I can literarily feel your heart breaking. I also made myself the same promise never to become so attached to a fur or feather child ever again ... But I do it each time. I see that you're the same way. I am so sorry, Mark. Funky kitty sure is a treasure and when I saw those two photos, one song each popped right into my head. Just that fast.

I don't know how to embed in this message board community so perhaps you can tell me sometime. I see there's an HTML capability so that may be it. In the meantime, I sure do hope you and Funky like the songs I chose that go so well with her photos. Well, I think so. HUGS!!!

You ask how long you'll love Funky and how long she will love you? Just click on her photo below.

Next, it is a new beginning not only for you, Mark. It's a new beginning for Funky. And what a glorious new beginning if we can see it past our tears. It will take time. We sure know that it will take time. A new Morning Has Broken for you both. Please click on Funky's other photo. More Hugs!!!

Tight Comforting Hugs and Much Love!

Always,
Angel xoxoxox

[daisysmom13]

I remember something similar to this happened to my sister over a routine procedure. It was horrible how one minute her cat was alive and the next, gone.

You gave your cat a good life, and that is all he could have ever wanted. Your love and companionship. You are a wonderful human being for giving him that. I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

[myhrtisbrkn]

I'm so sorry Mark, he was an adorable boy. I know how reluctant you were to give your heart to a new furkid after Tribby-cat and now you've lost two more so tragically.

I was at the vets with my dogs not long ago.., getting impatient because we had been waiting so long, when I learned that a beautiful healthy young cat being neutered had crashed on the table. Our doc was able to pull him through, but it was a very near thing. In running tests to try and uncover the reason for his near fatal reaction, they found that the little guy had Addison's disease. He had lived a stress free life, up until the surgery so he hadn't presented any symptoms. Then boom , he had a near fatal Addison's crisis right there on the table.

What has happened to your dear kitties would try anyone's faith and courage to love one of these short-lived, vulnerable creatures. Given time to heal, and a kitten that needs you, you may find them again.

Love and prayers,
Dayna

[katzen11]

RIP Funkyman, your time came much too soon.
there are many cybershoulders here to lean on.

this forum you created in memory of a special one...is still here to help you when you need it.

i am so very sorry
Eva

[havana]

Hi Mark, am so sorry you have lost your Baby Funky without saying goodbye, believe me, I know you are in pain and hurting now. Hope you will find peace in your mind soon. lots of hugs, Jorge

[gillian]

I am so sorry. He was such a gorgeous cat.

[Deanna]

my cat Funky died at the vet yesterday while coming out of anathesia from a very routine procedure, he was just over a year old. i didnt want to take him to the vet, but his inner ear had been infected for a while (a polyp, we were to find out yesterday) and the therapy needed to be done. knowing this was a common procedure, i didnt think much about it. when i heard the vet (my ex-wife) crying on the other end, my first thoughts were that one of my kids was in trouble. then she said the words no owner wants to hear: your pet died.

i lost it pretty hard yesterday, who says men dont cry? i did for hours in bed while listening to the rain and thunder outside. he was a sturdy cat, healthy in every other way besides that damn ear. he and i had a good play session the night prior to the procedure, but in the morning i unceremoniously picked him up and stuffed him into the carrier for his final ride. if i would have known i would not see him again, i would have squeezed him til he squeaked. but that was not the case, and i didnt have a chance to say goodbye. thats what hurts the most.

i finally dragged myself out of bed to half eat some dinner. then turned on the tv to block out the sadness when, wouldnt you know, the national ASPCA commercial with sara mclaughlin singing 'in the arms of an angel' came on. well dear friend, i lost it again.

today, i am cried out. the shock has subsided but the pain still remains. i would love to stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head again today, but work and the world has different plans for me. the house already feels empty, tho the kitty was small he was part of my every day routines. i missed him chasing me down the stairs to my office to get fed this morrning. so sad. worst part yet to come, i have to face telling my daughter on friday evening when i pick her up from a week at camp. she loved the little guy, its not going to be pretty.

so though i may not respond to very many posts anymore, seeing the pain day after day has wore me thin, i do understand how you feel. i have been through the pain, and now go through the pain again.

RIP Funkyman, your time came much too soon.

So sorry to hear of your loss, especially with it be during a "routine" procedure. I am very familiar with the extreme sadness and shock, due to my beloved pet being taken away from me so quickly and unexpectedly. My lil' Zoe was hit by a car, she took off chasing a rabbit, after us getting home from nice evening walk. She was killed instantly. I stayed in bed for three days ...hopeing I would could just wake up and it all be just a nightmare. I know how it is to come home to a quiet house, the pain and emptiness is almost unbearable. However, time will heal your pain.
Just know, we are all here for you.
Hugs,
Deanna

[ChibiStar]

So sorry to hear of your loss, especially with it be during a "routine" procedure. I am very familiar with the extreme sadness and shock, due to my beloved pet being taken away from me so quickly and unexpectedly. My lil' Zoe was hit by a car, she took off chasing a rabbit, after us getting home from nice evening walk. She was killed instantly. I stayed in bed for three days ...hopeing I would could just wake up and it all be just a nightmare. I know how it is to come home to a quiet house, the pain and emptiness is almost unbearable. However, time will heal your pain.
Just know, we are all here for you.
Hugs,
Deanna

I'm very sorry about your loss, and completely understand the pain of suddenly losing a pet with such a routine thing. My little baby Ki was only a little older than your Funky, at 1 year and 4 months and went in for a simply spay procedure. She didn't have an allergic reaction to anything, but a terrible case of hemophilia that they didn't detect until she was already gone. It's very difficult, and I think one of the hardest parts with these losses is the fact that they were so very young when they left. Although I can be happy knowing I would have rather only known her a year than never known her at all.

Your Funky was a beautiful kitty and you were both very blessed to have each other throughout his life. Hugs and prayers to you

[LoveThem]

Thinking of many of the things you have said here...I looked through my papers for the thoughts people who have lost a pet have said..that I want to remember and read again. When you mentioned about maybe not being meant to have one of these babies in your life, I thought of this one:

One can ask with the depth of pain we go through WHY do we allow ourselves to become so attached to pets? All one has to do is think of the tremendous amount of unconditional love we get from them and then we can ask WHY wouldn't we?

You know you have made a difference in the lives of your furbabies..whether their time allowed is long or short. I believe the pain is more intense when the time is short (although I am never sure it can be more intense). It hurts so much you start questioning yourself but that is the pain talking..it is not how you really feel.

I have always felt and still do that when I commit to a furbaby, I can guarantee them I will do my best to take care of them and love them for whatever time is given to us. I cannot protect them from everything but I sure will do my best. And then I can feel..this is one baby who will not be put down because they were unwanted, will not be abused for someone's amusement, will not starve because they have no home or are unwanted. So many of these sweethearts are treated so cruelly (a bag of kittens being tossed onto the freeway). We read about such acts much too often.

So no matter how long or how short we are allowed to keep them safe and healthy...at least for that time....we both had the best of each other...and formed a loving bond that will be part of us forever.

I don't know why they are taken away. Sometimes I see that I do open my home and heart to another..cause I know there are so many waiting..and maybe that is why they are taken..cause someone else needs us more. I can't accept losing them for no reason or just fate being cruel.
It is just something we will never understand and even though it helps me to believe that there is a time they must go and when it comes, we cannot prevent it....that doesn't lessen any of the pain or grieving for their loss but it does keep me from adding guilt to the pain..which is like pouring gasoline on a fire.

You know we know your pain, Mark. You know you are not alone with your grief. You created this forum for which so many here are grateful....... for through reading the stories here and
helping each other through the pain we all feel....eventually we stop being overwhelmed by it all and many will open their homes and hearts again to another furbaby because with no population control...there are always many waiting to be found by the special people who really care about them. You are one of the special people and always will be. And while your furbabies brought something special into your life......in turn, you were their life and they wouldn't trade any of their time with us anymore than we would trade our time with them.. to avoid life's unfairness.

I wish you peace and healing and a big HUG...

[LS Support]

this is one baby who will not be put down because they were unwanted, will not be abused for someone's amusement, will not starve because they have no home or are unwanted.

good point, as is the other writing above. the grief is still too raw right now to think straight, but i believe there are furkids out there who need to be adopted in order to have the best life possible. funky was adopted, his short life was the life of a king. he was fat and happy and loved by all around him. this provides some solace. that, and i bet tribble is romping around with him and all of the other pets who have died here. someone here said all things happen for a reason, and i hope that is one of them.

[katzen11]

funky was adopted, his short life was the life of a king. he was fat and happy and loved by all around him. this provides some solace. that, and i bet tribble is romping around with him and all of the other pets who have died here. someone here said all things happen for a reason, and i hope that is one of them.

Funky had a life of a king.
and Tribble is taking care of him, now.
i think, there is something our pets do know more about
than we "humans" ,
maybe about LOVE.
that`s the lesson our pets are teaching us.
Eva