The breakdowns I have are sure not as intense as the begining, but none the less as time moves on I find My Moose's hair on different places, dinner time is hard because everyone had a place they sat, Moose and Gato right in front of the coffee table, a bite for me a bite for you and you. Not to many times I've eaten dinner lately without crying, just putting the leftovers in the garbage is sad. It has been 6wks today Moose left this world, this site has helped me grieve. After my parents died I kept so busy, I did'nt grieve to the deepest extent like I have lately, it came out 3yrs later with panic attacks, sweats, my doctor had told me I was going through post stress from losing my parents and changing to a new city so fast, I thought I was doing okay but I really wasnt. This time I still fight it (the acceptance) but I cry alot more, I still have more grief to pour out of my soul. I miss my boy so much, he was my greatest joy, my life. Pamela

Even as I sit here in the middle of intensly crying and missing my girl, I can tell you that it does get better.

I completely understand how you feel. I too, have surpressed grief after having lost close loved ones. I too, have suffered the panic attacks years later. And, like you, I let the grief run out when my furbaby died.

You are not alone.

So sorry for your pain!!

I guess it's all part of the process, and the intensity of the grief is necessary (some of it is "delayed" but overall it does lessen over time).

We're all here for you. Keep sharing. You're in my prayers,

Kathy

Pamela,
I know what you mean about the hair thing. I'm finding Baby's hairs everywhere, too. Most of them I'm finding are in my car. Baby loved riding in the car, and she would jump from window to window trying to look out. Her little legs couldn't have been more than 4 inches long, so she never did have a great view unless she was riding in my lap. She would cover me and the seat with hairs and I'm still finding them all over my clothes.
That little weenie beanie is STILL doing that to me.
Linda

Dear Pamela,
Just let those tears come we all need the healing tears. Some people have said it doesn't help to cry, yes it does you just can't keep it bottled up it will effect your health.We must never be ashamed our our tears for our babies, there is love and healing in every tear that is shed. Hugs
Love, Ann

Hi Dear Friends:

Please..............let you "feel your feelings", and if that means that "you feel like you need to cry".............then.....
PLEASE CRY ALL THAT YOU WANT AND NEED TO.....

I will be honest............these tears are exactly what you need to HEAL YOUR HEART!!!

Years ago, after someone special in my life died........I remember being "shy" about crying in public..........

Well, after Ernestine was put to sleep...........
THERE WAS NO "STOPPER" that could've stopped my tears ......

My eyes were SOOOOOOOOOOOO PUFFY, AS TEARS KEPT COMING FROM MY EYES AND DOWN MY CHEEKS........
I had the puffiest looking red face......

Well.........if that's how I was going to look after losing my precious baby girl........"WITH A PUFFY RED FACE, AND PUFFY EYES............"
Then........that's how I was going to look.......

My heart was shattered in millions of pieces.............and, my tears showed that......

But, it also showed just how very, very much I loved my sweet Ernie-Bird!!! !!!!

Lots of little & big reminders show up, even after our sweet furkids are gone....

Right now, Ms. Lucy has started "acting like Ernestine"...........

Ms. Lucy started jumping up on the bathroom sink to "drink water", just like Ernie did....

It's strange too, how much Ms. Lucy and our darling Ms. Ernestine look like one another..........
That's why we have always said that, "We are sure that Ernestine had a 'PAW' in helping us to pick out Ms. Lucy."

It really, really does get better..............
Perhaps since these are our first holidays since our sweet furkids have gone to Rainbow's Bridge?????

Hmmmmmmmm....................I wonder.....

But, I love you all..........
You are all in my thoughts and my prayers.....

Love, Denise xo

Pamela,

I like to think the tears help clear away the pain. Its funny but when I clean I aways find reminders of Stymy. I like to think they are his calling cards to let me know he is still around.

Vicki