Click to view attachment Click to view attachmentClick to view attachmentClick to view attachmentClick to view attachmentClick to view attachmentGoodbye my sweet boy Dugan. This time last week there was no indication that you were sick. I know your back legs were getting weaker, but you're twelve years old and we just figured it was arthritis. You always were smiling and happy, why you never complained I don't know. Each day you followed daddy around the house and stayed by his side, and when I would come home from work you would get up to great me with a kiss and tail wagging. I wish you could have said "mommy something isn't right". Then suddenly this past Monday morning when I got up to let you out to pee, your belly was so swollen and you waddled out and did your business just like normal. You didn't wince when I touched you and you were still smiling. When the vet checked you out you sat so nicely and when we took you to the specialist for a sonogram you didn't complain at all. Then they called and told us the bad news. You had cancer in your spleen and liver and without chemo there was only pills to ease your pain until you succumbed. We picked you up and you were still groggy from the anesthesia. You came home and ate a little and struggled to get up and when you pooped in the dining room, it just broke my heart because I know you couldn't help it and weren't able to make it out even though you wanted to. We slept on the floor with you that night and when you still couldn't get up to move I cried because I thought that it was because we hurt you moving you around. You got sassy and barked when you wanted water or to be petted and I thought, "he's getting better!", but you got worse and I went to work and left you with daddy, but you didn't get up all day and wouldn't eat. That's when we knew. You're back legs wouldn't work at all and you cClick to view attachmentouldn't move.

But still you didn't complain. Even when we made the decision to say goodbye, you were OK with it. You knew it was time, but we didn't want to let go.

Thank you Dugan, you made it easy for us to say goodbye. You were a brave boy even when we were falling apart. Thank you for being such a good boy, such a great friend and family member. Thank you for bringing us 12 years of joy and fun. Daddy and I miss you so much and coming home to an empty house is unbearable. I know you are up in heaven with your brother and friends. But just seeing your bowls and toys breaks our hearts. It's still too soon. Please know how much we love you and think about you all the time.

I know you are fine now and not in pain and that you will always be with us. Our best boy.

Hi, Duggie's Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Dugan. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Duggie's Mom, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experiences is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Dugan a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Dugan knows that you love him, for the good news in the midst of all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Dugan share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Dugan's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from firsthand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Dugan with us, and this wonderful picture of your handsome boy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Duggie's Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon Beam, thank you. It always helps to hear from others going thru the same thing and know that they understand what we are feeling. This isn't the first time we've been thru this process and I'm sure it won't be the last, however, it never gets easier. I know it will take time and one day I won't cry when I talk about him, or come home from work and don't see him, and eventually will be able to look at his picture and smile instead of being sad.

Thank you again just for offering a place to be heard.